


Thanks for the flowers

by MaeHill



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bullying, F/F, F/M, Fights, Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Mean Naomi (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-06-08 17:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 44,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15247899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeHill/pseuds/MaeHill
Summary: Soulmate AU! You get flowers on your skin when your soulmate is hurt.





	1. The flowers on his skin

**Author's Note:**

> Got motivated to write this after Prettyoddchild on Tumblr made some art for it, so here you go!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first page in their story.

The first time flowers appeared on Castiel's skin, he was only fourteen years old. They were beautiful, Castiel thought at first, with their coral color and simple design. They looked like the flowers children drew. Five of them on the right side of his jawline, ten of them around his eye, two on his lower lip and six on his knuckles. It was obvious that his soulmate had been in a fight, but Castiel figured that teenagers often got into fights, so it wasn't a big deal. He was sure he wouldn't see them again for a long time, so he took a lot of pictures. He had a picture of them as the background on his phone for weeks, admiring them constantly, even after they had faded from his face. 

It didn't take long for them to appear again. Four days after the flowers had disappeared, new flowers appeared again. Same color, same design, almost in the same place. He counted eight flowers on the left side of his jaw and five on his forehead. Another fight. 

"Maybe they're a boxer," Charlie suggested. 

"Maybe they're an asshole and keeps getting beat up about it," Meg suggested. Castiel snorted, but started to worry still. What if he was an asshole? What if he liked fighting or was a racist that kept on pissing people off by being a bad person? 

"Maybe," Castiel would mumble in response every time his friends suggested something. The only one of his friends that didn't take it seriously, was Balthazar. Not that he took anything seriously. 

"Maybe they just likes it rough," he said while they were eating lunch at school. Castiel scowled at him, Meg laughed and Charlie punched his shoulder. "Gee, tough crowd." 

The years went on like that. Flowers appeared at least once a month. On his jaw, around his eyes, his lips, his ribs.. Always in places that made it clear that his soulmate were fighting constantly. Castiel went through a constant cycle of being worried, pissed off and sad. He had dreams - nightmares about it, he constantly started to zone out in class and searched online every time he got flowers on him to see if he could find an article of someone getting in a fight nearby. He never found anything. 

Castiel was not one of the popular kids when he was young. He was tall and thin, his movements awkward and his social skills rusty. His group of three friends remained, so he was never lonely.

"You're super cool," Charlie said every time someone called him freak or nerd in the hallway at school. "They just don't know it." Meg would get in fights with Castiel's bullies on a regular basis, but since they refused to hit a girl, her soulmate - whom she hadn't met yet - was saved of the fate Castiel suffered. Balthazar came out as bisexual when they were fifteen and Charlie came out as a lesbian a few months after. Castiel decided that his bullies had enough to call him, so, to avoid being called faggot on top of everything else, he kept his sexuality to himself. 

The first year of high school wasn't much different than middle school, since his bullies went to the same school still. They had started to take notice of the constant flowers on Castiel's face, and decided to offer his soulmate some flowers in return a few months into high school. 

"She'll look real pretty with some flowers here," the leader of the group, named Luke, had said after punching Castiel in the face. He didn't fight back. A small part of him, the part of him that was filled with anger and spite, was glad. Good, he thought to himself when the bullies grew tired of beating him up. Maybe his soulmate would feel bad now. Maybe the fighting would stop. He tried to picture his soulmate, with flowers on his jaw and cheek. He wondered if his flowers matched his own. If they had the same color, the same style, or if they were different. It was different from person to person. No one knew why. 

"I'll send their soulmates some flowers in return," Meg immediately said after he showed up at her door late at night. Castiel shook his head.

"That won't change anything, you know that." Castiel sighed in defeat while studying the bruises in the mirror in Meg's bathroom. He'd stayed there that night, not wanting to go home to his mother with the bruises. He couldn't hide them forever, he had to go home sooner or later, but he didn't want to deal with it the same day. He was fairly certain how she would react, and he couldn't take more verbal abuse. "But maybe this will change things for my soulmate." It didn't change anything, Castiel learned 28 days later.

"Maybe," she mumbled into his shoulder. "I hope so, for your sake." Castiel felt bad now, having thought constantly about his soulmate for hours after the beating. He didn't have it in him to really want his soulmate to worry. So, while he lay awake in the middle of the night in Meg's bed, he decided that things needed to change. He needed to change. 

He started to work out and eat more. He quickly gained enough weight to match his height. He went to the gym, with his mother's approval, almost every day. He improved his balance, his strength and his stamina. It took him almost a year to get to the point where he could stand up to Luke and his gang, both physically and mentally. Luke never could say no to a challenge, even if he most certainly had to have noticed how much bigger Castiel had gotten, so he challenged him to a fight. 

"I win, you leave me alone." Luke smirked, but agreed. 

"What if I win?" Castiel hesitated, but knew he had to make it an all or nothing challenge. He'd trained, he was stronger than Luke and he had been taking lessons in self-defense as well, so he was fairly certain he could win. The problem wasn't his skills, it was his mind. He was nervous. 

"Then I'll do whatever you want." Luke laughed and looked at the people that stood around him. They laughed with, like everyone was expected to when Luke laughed, and then he officially, and loudly, proclaimed that he accepted Castiel's challenge and the terms. 

"Let's meet here in eight hours." Castiel nodded and they left. Eight hours. He had eight hours to psyche himself up for the fight that he had to win. He didn't tell his friends about it. They would just tell his mother or a teacher. The fight would be stopped and Luke would get more aggressive. No, this was something Castiel had to do alone. The fight changed everything. 

Just minutes after the fight had begun, Castiel had Luke pinned under him, his fist raised with the promise of giving flowers to his soulmate. He hit Luke once, twice, and prepared to hit him again when something in Luke's eyes made him stop. Fear. Castiel stared down at him with wide eyes, now picturing Luke's soulmate with flowers all over. On their ribs, their jaw, lip, forehead.. That person hadn't done anything to deserve what he had gone through.

"Give up," he hissed down at Luke. He didn't lower his fist. "You deserve this. Your soulmate doesn't." Luke flinched. "Give up." Castiel lowered his fist when Luke nodded. He helped him up. "I won," he said, loud enough for the gang gathered around them to hear. Luke swallowed hard, but nodded again.

"You won," he conceded, declaring defeat in front of all of his followers and admirers. Castiel's soulmate got away with a flowers only around his right eye and his left cheek. He decided then and there that he would never again get in a fight, unless he had to. A month went by, and he was surprised that no new flowers had appeared on him. He counted each day since the last time his soulmate had gotten in a fight. Ten, eighteen, twenty-four, thirty-one, forty-one.

He got all the way to forty-six. He'd slept until noon that Saturday and he found no bruises on his body before he went into the shower while whistling a little to himself. He sighed in relief when the warm water hit him. He'd gone a bit harder on himself than he usually did, and the warmth of the water helped on his sore arms and shoulders. He filled the room with steam, the mirror and window fogged up when he finally got out.

He put his hand to the mirror after getting a towel around his waist, rubbing away some of the fog on it, revealing his face. "Oh, for.." He clutched the side of the sink with both his hands and lowered his head, clenching his jaw. On the side of his left eye were seven flowers, one on his lower lip and another right below it. He knew without looking that he had flowers on at least one set of knuckles on one of his hands. If his soulmate wasn't in trouble already, he certainly would be when they met.


	2. The bruises on his skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's two sides to every story.

The first fight wasn't intentional, at least not from Dean's side, but he was only fourteen years old. Young, dumb and angry. The first thing he thought about afterwards was what his father was gonna say. The next thing he thought of was what lie he was gonna tell his father about why the fight happened in the first place. The third thing was what really got to him. What would his soulmate think? Would they worry? Be angry? 

He stared at the bruises on his face for hours the next day. In the bathroom mirror, in his reflection on all the windows he passed, in the one mirror that wasn't broken in the school bathroom. He touched them gently and thought of how beautiful his soulmate must look with flowers on their face. Of how worried, how angry they must be. 

He was forced to face his father after school. "You been fighting, boy?" Dean nodded, then flinched when his father grabbed his chin violently and moved his head around to look at the bruises. "What was the fight about?" he asked. 

They called me a faggot, Dean thought. "They called me a pussy," he said. His father nodded in approval, handed Dean a beer and watched him drink all of it. Sam came home an hour later, looked at Dean with pity, then went up to his room without a word. He spent a lot of time in his room these days, ever since their mom died. Dean wanted to help, but he didn't know how. Young, dumb and angry. 

The second fight was intentional, at least from Dean's side. After watching the bruises fade over three weeks, he didn't exactly get less angry. He was angry at his father for being who he was. He was angry at Michael for calling him a faggot, and for winning the first fight. He was angry at the universe. He wanted to be angry at his soulmate too. He wasn't though. 

"You know I'll always have your back," Benny said the day after the second fight. "But you can't fight every asshole you come across." Dean snorted. 

"I can and I will," he mumbled. 

The years went on like that. Dean watched the bruises heal, grit his teeth a few days, then went out looking for a fight when Benny wasn't looking. Dean sometimes searched online to see if anyone that could be his soulmate had posted something on a public page dedicated to help soulmates find each other, but he never found anything.

Benny met his soulmate two months before they started high school. Andrea was lovely, Dean thought. She was a perfect match for Benny, and Dean couldn't help but feel jealous whenever he saw them look at each other like the world around them didn't exists. He wanted to look at his soulmate like that. He would look at his soulmate like that when they met, he just didn't want to wait. 

"You'll find them soon," Benny would whisper to him every time he noticed that Dean got that look in his eyes. The look that told Benny, without Dean having to tell him, that he was lonely. Andrea started to hug him whenever they met, somehow noticing how touch starved he was. He had a few one night stands here and there, sure, but even when he was naked in bed, arms of the person he'd chosen for the night wrapped around him, it didn't feel like an intimate act. 

"Does it feel different? When Andrea touches you?" Dean asked while they were playing video games one night. Benny briefly looked over at him, causing his character to get shot in-game, before he re-spawned and continued.

"Yeah," he said. "It feels different." Dean didn't ask about it after that.

Dean's reputation changed at the beginning of high school. It went from faggot and trouble maker, to out and proud. He fought anyone that called him or someone near him a faggot. He fought for others that were either thought to be gay or actually were gay. "Just let me know if there's anything I can do.. To thank you." Aaron offered a shy smile after Dean had helped him get out of a pinch. Dean simply winked back and went on with his day. 

"Are you really doing this for them?" Benny asked when they were over halfway through high school. 

"Why else would I do it?" Benny didn't answer. He simply shrugged and then changed the subject. It made Dean think, mostly about his soulmate. They didn't deserve this. He'd been able to block that out for years now, justifying it with the fact that he did it to help people. He did it to help people. Didn't he? He could think of another reason, but quickly dismissed the thought. 

"You look good, brother." Benny slapped him on his back, smiling wide. Dean offered a weak smile back. It had been forty-five days since his last fight. He would make it right. He owed it to his soulmate, even more than he owed whatever he felt like he owed to everyone else. He struggled, but managed to not let it hurt his pride. Benny helped. Sam too. 

Day forty-six was the end of the line. It wasn't his fault. It really wasn't, he didn't deserve it. This time he knew he didn't deserve it. He'd never been sure of that before. Despite it being Saturday, he was startled awake when Sam yelled that he was leaving for some Saturday class he was taking and then slamming the door shut behind him. 

"God damn it," Dean mumbled to himself. He'd been with Benny the night before, playing games and drinking a few beers until four in the morning. His father was nowhere to be seen when he came home, so he made himself some food and went to bed with a smile on his face. 

He put on a pair of pajamas pants and an AC/DC t-shirt, then opened the door to his room to get to the bathroom. He jumped back when he saw his father standing right outside, scowling at him. "Were you slamming the door, boy?" Dean shook his head.

"No, Sam - Sam went out." Dean stuttered. His father squinted at him and walked closer, blocking Dean from exiting the room. He stumbled closer, entering the room while Dean walked backwards to get away from him. 

"Sam's not here," he slurred. Dean's back bumped into the wall on the other side of the room, preventing him from moving away from his father. 

"No, he - he went out." Dean swallowed hard, trying to stay calm. "For a class, a - a Saturday class." His father stumbled closer, closer, then crowded Dean against the wall, one hand on each side of his face.

"Sam's a good boy," he slurred, the smell of alcohol and cigarettes hitting Dean's nostrils. "He's quiet, does as he's told. You're just.." He trailed off, as if he didn't know exactly what ugly word he wanted to use to describe his son. 

"He was just tired, maybe the - the wind slammed the door shut." Dean desperately tried to talk his father down, but it seemed he had already made up his mind about how this morning was going to go.

"You're such a fucking disappointment," he hissed. Dean wasn't given a chance to duck before his father punched his fist against the side of his face. Dean almost fell over, but was stopped by the hand of his father. He held him up as he punched him, cracking his lower lip. He'd been good, he thought. He hadn't fought in forty-six days. He hadn't caused worry to his soulmate in forty-six days. This wasn't his fault, he didn't deserve this. 

"Fuck you," he spit just before he punched his father on the side of his cheek. With a little luck and some help from the massive amounts of alcohol in his system, he went down after the first blow. His body went limp after his head hit the floor hard, a small, but deafening crack filling the otherwise silent room. Dean didn't dare breathe until a few minutes had passed, and then, after panicking for a good ten minutes, he called an ambulance. 

Two officers showed up a few minutes after the ambulance left. "Can you tell me what happened?" one of them asked. Dean did. He told them everything. He didn't have anything to hide, and, if push came to shove, he didn't have anything to lose. The officers took pity on him, leaving soon after he was finished telling the story.

Luckily, Sam didn't come home until around noon. By then Dean had cleaned up the mess around the house and was getting a bag of peas out of the freezer to keep on his bruises. "You got in a fight again?" He folded his arms and frowned at Dean. "Let me see." Dean turned around briefly. 

"I'm fine, Sam." He couldn't tell him what had happened. The tension in the house was already bad enough, this would cause everything to change again. He couldn't risk that. Their father would come home, they would hide this for Sam and everything would stay the same. 

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Dean." He looked down at the bag of peas in his hands. To himself? He had never done anything to himself. He helped others. He made a difference. Just not today. "You won't find them this way." He kept on staring down at the bag in his hands, trying to keep the sudden nausea that hit him under control, the realization of what he'd really been doing all these years hitting him like a ton of bricks. But what if he could find them this way?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got so many wonderful comments, both here and on Tumblr, that I was inspired enough to just finish this. It's in the middle of the night, but I couldn't sleep because I got so excited about the comments and the story! You guys are all amazing!!


	3. You deserve to be saved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two stories turn into one.

Castiel was running through a forest, sweat streaming down his face, his lungs burning. He didn’t know if he was running from someone or to someone. He didn’t know why he was running either, all he knew was that he needed to run. Too focused on looking ahead, he didn’t notice the stone on the ground. His foot hit it and he went down, screaming as his head hit the concrete. He looked down at it, blood gathering on the floor. Concrete? His head snapped up at the sound of someone yelling. It was a mixture of pleading and threats, one voice more dominant than the other. He looked to his left, seeing two shadows further down a very long corridor. One of them grabbed the other by their throat, holding them against the wall. Before Castiel could react, the attacker plunged a knife into the one he held by his throat. Castiel gasped, pain blooming through his chest, right where the man had just stabbed the other. He looked down, pulling at his t-shirt to see, flowers spreading from his chest. They appeared one by one, on his chest, his stomach, his hands. Tears were pooling in his eyes, making it impossible to see who was standing over him now, all he could see was the glint of the knife he held in his hand. The person lifted the knife and -

Castiel jerked awake, sweat falling from his forehead, some of it mixing with the tears that were streaming out of his eyes. He tried to calm his breath, one hand on his chest and the other gripping the side of the bed, like he was afraid that he would fall back into the nightmare if he let go. He sat like that for seconds, or maybe minutes, before he dared to jump out of bed. 

As quietly as he could, he jogged to the bathroom, stopping in front of the mirror. He still had flowers around his left eye and on his right jaw, those weren't new, but those on his neck were. There was no mistaking the shape the flowers made. A hand. 

Castiel put a hand over his mouth so the sobs that threatened to spill from his lips wouldn't wake his mother, only to notice flowers on his wrist. As he turned the wrist, the flowers continued, all the way around. Tears fell on the flowers as he silently cried. He stood like that until the tears subsided, either because he didn't have anymore tears to cry or because he went numb. Perhaps both. 

He couldn't find more flowers on his body, so he quietly walked back to his bed. He stared at it, his body refusing to let him get back in under the covers. The small clock on his nightstand showed 03:36. A bit too early, or late, depending on their life choices, to call anyone. His body was itching all over and his mind was spinning. He wouldn't be able to sleep, so he threw on a pair of sweat pants, socks and a hoodie, getting ready to go for a walk. He didn't bother to brush his teeth or fix his hair, because who would he even meet in the middle of the night on a weekday? No one that he needed to look good for at least.

He walked carefully past the door to his mother’s bedroom and tip-toed down the stairs, then grabbed his shoes and left the house. He sat down on the bench right next to the door to get his shoes on, then looked around. Not a soul in sight. 

Even though it was in the middle of September, it was hardly cold. Castiel probably should’ve put at least a t-shirt on under the hoodie, but the slight cold was a good distraction from his thoughts. He walked rapidly down the sidewalk, turned left, right and then left again. It felt like he was on autopilot. Like his body and mind knew where he wanted – needed to go. So he followed. 

The nightmare seemed distant now, but he still pulled at the hoodie to look down at his chest, just in case it hadn’t all just been a nightmare. He’d heard stories, he’d seen pictures of those who had lost their soulmates. They were both beautiful and heartbreaking. People that had to live with the knowledge that their soulmates were dead, flowers forever on their skin as a grim reminder of it. Some never found out who their deceased soulmate even was, while others, whose soulmates suffered a tragic death, found out either in the news or online. Pictures were easy to find of them, people with bags under their eyes and flowers all over their face and bodies. The stories that haunted Castiel the most, was the ones that involved domestic abuse. Castiel was worried that he might be too late. That his soulmate, the person he’d longed for since he knew what soulmates were, would get in too much trouble before they had the chance to find each other. 

His mind supplied him with images of himself as an old man, staring in the mirror with flowers around his neck, over his heart, or simply one lonely flower on his forehead. He shook his head, hoping that they would simply fall out of his head and leave him alone. 

When he finally stopped walking, he found himself standing on the other side of the road to where the train station was. He walked over the road without looking both ways, his eyes on the big clock that was placed on the tower at the end of the big brick building where you could buy tickets or go to the cafe before you took the trains that were stationed on the other side of the building. The clock ticked over to show that it was now 04:01. Castiel turned his gaze down to a person sitting on a bench next to the entrance. His breath hitched. 

He touched his own face, his fingers gliding easily over where he knew the flowers were, as he walked slowly towards the person. The closer he got, the more he could see the bruises on the person’s face. He put his hand over the flowers on his neck. Only a few feet away, he could clearly see the bruise around his neck. 

“It’s you,” he said under his breath. He didn’t mean for the stranger to hear, but he looked up anyway. His eyes went wide when he noticed Castiel and he jumped up from the bench, looking like a deer caught in headlights. They stared at each other for a while, not really knowing what to say at first. Eventually Castiel went with repeating, “It’s you.”

“It’s..” He trailed off. Castiel followed the movement of his Adams apple, the bruised skin moving over it as he swallowed. “Me,” he whispered. Castiel walked closer, slowly. He was beautiful. His sand colored hair was short and he had a slight stubble on his face, with freckles filling the cheeks above it. His lips were something to worship, but his eyes, oh, his eyes were certainly hand crafted by Gods. Castiel had never seen such a bright green in someones eyes before. He was only wearing shoes, jeans and a t-shirt. Castiel lifted his hand to touch the bruise on his throat, causing the man to flinch.

“What’s the matter?” Castiel lowered his hand and tilted his head, knitting his eyebrows together in confusion. 

“I’m sorry,” was all he said. Castiel didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t know what his soulmate needed him to say. That it was alright? That he forgave him? That it wasn’t his fault?

“What’s your name?” he decided to ask instead. 

“Dean.” Castiel couldn’t help it. He smiled. “Why are you smiling? Aren’t you mad?” Castiel shook his head. “You should be. You should hate me.” Castiel shook his head again. 

“No, I..” He hesitated. “Can I hug you?” Dean looked taken aback by the request. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he nodded weakly. Castiel moved slowly, placing one arm over his right shoulder and the other around his waist, hugging him tightly. All the confusion, the hurt, the anger and confusion he had been feeling over the years was drained out of him. He was there. He had his soulmate in his arms and he could pull him out of whatever hell he was stuck in. It was clear that Dean didn’t think he deserved to be saved, but Castiel had all the time in the world to prove him wrong. And he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so proud of myself because I worked in some references to the show! (Can you find them? Are they super dumb and not obvious? I'm actually not sure..) Thanks for all the kudos and comments, they mean so much to me, you have no idea!!
> 
> I've decided to keep each chapter around 1500 words, but update the story more often than I would've if they were longer. I've also decided to continue the way I told Cas's story first and then Dean's, even if it's in third person, so this is just Cas's side, next chapter will be Dean and so on! Say hi on Tumblr if you want, I'll share this story and, again, the art that Prettyoddchild drew! /xmaehughes.


	4. Save me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a love story.

Sam didn't spend much time in the house anymore. Dean didn't blame him, not even when the abuse from his father escalated because he didn't have a reason to hold back anymore, because Sam wasn't there to see. Sam wasn't there to stop him, to hate him, to reason with him. It didn't matter when Dean did it, it didn't even matter that he hated his father. Or himself.

Dean started to dread the words that came out of Sam's mouth almost four times each week. "I'm spending the night at Brady's house," Sam would mumble before he left. He'd started slamming the door too, almost like the teenage turbulence in his mind had come two years too soon for his age, making him unpredictable and independent. Dean would hide in his bedroom the next day, avoid Sam as much as possible, but he didn't even need to make excuses when they did meet.

"Are you ever gonna stop fighting?" Sam would ask, disappointment poorly hidden in his voice. Dean simply shrugged. "You're so dumb," Sam mumbled before he left. They didn't talk much anymore. Sam had it better, Dean thought. Their father didn't touch him, he was doing good in school and he had a lot of friends. So he didn't tell him anything. He was good at lying by now anyway, he'd been lying to himself for years. But still he wondered, and hoped, that maybe he could find them - him this way.

It didn't take long for his father to stumble his way from the living room to Dean's bedroom, pushing the door open so hard that it slammed against the wall, making Dean flinch. "It's your fault," his father slurred. Dean got up from the bed, but didn't prepare for a fight. He prepared to endure it. "Your fault that Sam's been spendin' so much time out.." Dean shook his head slightly.

"He's just.. He's popular." Dean put both his hands over his stomach. He didn't want his father to break his ribs, since he wouldn't be able to go to the hospital after. They'd ask questions. They'd figure it out. They'd take Sam away.

"You told 'im and now he hates me." He was slurring a bit more than usual. He hadn't been as drunk as he used to the last two weeks, most likely because he had worked up tolerance, but it was obvious that he'd been drinking more to make up for that.

"I haven't told him anything, I swear!" Dean knew it was futile to argue, but the hope that it would stop his father one day remained still. He let out a dry laugh.

"Liar," he mumbled. Dean didn't have time to react - not that he could've done anything - before his father lunged at him, grabbed him by his throat and pushed him against the wall. "You're useless." His feet left the floor, causing him to panic when he couldn't breathe anymore. His mouth open, he tried to gasp for air while he clawed at his father's hand. He tried to push him away with one hand when that didn't work, tried to think of something he could do with just that one, weak hand to get his father to let go, but wasn't able to do anything when his father grabbed his wrist. 

"Dad," he gasped, emptying his lungs of air completely. Self-defense. The school had provided everyone with a course in self-defense. With the last energy he had left in his body, he kicked his foot forward, hitting his father exactly where he needed to, causing him to let go and topple over on the floor, groaning in pain while he held his hands over his groin. Dean didn't hesitate when he'd regained the ability to breathe, not this time. He ran. He only stopped to grab his shoes by the door, but didn't take the time to actually put them on before he moved as fast as he could out of the door, down the sidewalk and away from the house, swearing that he would never return. He knew he would have to. He couldn't leave. He couldn't let Sam be the only other person in the house. Someone had to be a punching bag, and he wasn't gonna let it be Sam. 

But only for tonight, he could pretend. He ran until he couldn't anymore, then he stopped, put on his shoes and looked around. The train station. It was closed though, but the bench right outside of the brick building would be good enough for now. He walked to it, shivering in the breeze. He hadn't thought about grabbing a jacket. He looked down at his wrist. In a few hours his soulmate would have flowers around his wrist, and throat. 

Dean felt numb. The big clock on the tower ticked away, not caring that someone was just sitting there, staring aimlessly out towards the water. It seemed to move too fast, like time was broken. The first time he looked at it, it showed that it was eleven at night. The next time it was two. Suddenly it was close to four, and Dean was still sitting there. He'd watched the bruises form while trying to imagine what his soulmate would look like by now. Hopefully they were still asleep. The air got colder and everything seemed to be more quiet than it was suppose to be.

"It's you." It was barely audible, but Dean heard it still. His eyes went wide when he looked up, his stomach dropped and his mind was suddenly empty of thoughts. Dean knew he would be beautiful, but this was too much. His blue eyes were so clear it was ridiculous, that was the first thing he noticed. The second thing was the flowers. On his face, on his neck, on his wrist. He knew they would be there, of course they would be, but he hadn't been expected that he would actually see them. He jumped off of the bench, but didn't move otherwise, his eyes still wide. 

"It's.." he started. He swallowed hard, his soulmate tracing the movement. He must look like such a mess. He was bruised, bags under his eyes and he knew he'd lost weight over the last few months. He looked weak. "Me," he finally finished on a whisper. He studied him, the one that was his soulmate, the one he was suppose to be with. And he wanted, he did, he wanted to deserve him. 

He had a bit of stubble on his face, his hair was a beautiful mess with a dark brown color and his lips were.. Well, alluring, if a bit chapped. He looked good even while wearing sweat pants and a hoodie. Dean couldn't help it, he flinched when his own soulmate lifted his hand towards him.

"What's the matter?" he asked, knitting his eyebrows in confusion and tilting his head in the most adorable way. Dean didn't deserve this. 

"I'm sorry." His soulmate seemed to consider the words for a while before he opened his mouth again, his expression soft.

"What's your name?" he asked. 

"Dean." Why wasn't he mad? Why wasn't he screaming at him, telling him off for all the flowers, for all the fights? No, instead, he was smiling. "Why are you smiling? Aren't you mad?" He shook his head. "You should be. You should hate me." He shook his head again, looking at Dean with so much love. It was too much. It wasn't enough. 

"No, I.." A small pause. "Can I hug you?" Whatever Dean had expected him to ask, he never would've guessed that. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but didn't trust his words to cooperate, so he simply nodded. His soulmate moved slowly, gently wrapping one arm over his shoulders and the other around his waist. He didn't squeeze too hard. Dean held his breath, his arms still hanging straight down, like he was scared that if he tried to hug back, his soulmate would disappear and he would wake up from a dream. Everything was so quiet around them. The only thing Dean could think was, 'He's here! He can fix everything!' 

Could he? Could he save him from his own father, from his own mind? Could he help with Sam? The thoughts were almost ruining the moment, so he tried to drown them out by simply focusing on his soulmate's chest against his. He mimicked it, exhaling and inhaling at the same time. Yeah, he thought. He could save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, commenting and giving kudos! I can't express in words how much it means to me, and how much it motivates me! I think, and hope, that it has made me better already. It encourages me to write more, not just on this story, but on other fanfic's I'm working on and even on some of my own work. I adore all of you, and I'm super excited to actually start their relationship for real in the next chapter! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧


	5. Anything and everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.

It took Dean a while before he hugged back, but when he did, he held on tight, like he was afraid that Castiel was gonna disappear any moment. If Castiel was right about him being in trouble, he probably was. They stood like that for a while, Dean crying into Castiel's shoulder while he held him.

After a small sniffle, he asked, "What's your name?" 

"Castiel," he murmured back, stroking his hand up and down Dean's back. He chuckled a little, still hiding his face in Castiel's shoulder. "I know it's a weird name." He nodded against him, then sniffled again. Castiel was almost crying, but now quite. It didn't feel like he had a reason to cry, not anymore anyway.

"It's a mouthful," he mumbled. "I'll call you Cas." He smiled to himself. "If you don't mind." He shook his head lightly.

"No," he mumbled. "I don't mind. I like it. No one's ever called me that before." Then they stood in silence for a while, neither wanting to let go. It might've been minutes, it might've been hours, before Dean sniffled one last time, pulled back and wiped the tears away with his hands. 

"Sorry. I don't usually cry." Castiel reluctantly let him go. "Why are you out here in the middle of the night?" Dean asked. Castiel hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea to tell him about the nightmare right now. Maybe later.

"Fell asleep too early last night, so I decided to just go for a walk when I woke up." Castiel blushed a bit when he remembered that he hadn't fixed his hair or brushed his teeth, not to mention his clothes. Dean didn't seem to mind though. "What about you?" Dean shrugged and looked away.

"Just needed to get out of the house," he answered honestly. Castiel felt a bit bad for lying, but he could tell the truth later. "Sorry about the - the flowers." Castiel grabbed his hand.

"You can just get me real flowers later," he said. Dean laughed while looking down at their hands, and it was the most beautiful thing Castiel had ever heard. He grinned wide, pleased that he was able to bring some joy into Dean's life. "It's cold." Dean nodded.

"I didn't think about putting on a jacket," he mumbled.

"I would offer you my hoodie, but I'm honestly not wearing anything underneath. Dean looked at him under his eyelashes, his cheeks a bit red. 

"Oh," he mumbled, more to himself it seemed. "We can't go back to my place. My dad, he's .. There." And just like that, without Dean explaining it, Castiel understood. All the flowers, all the bruises, the reason for them had been a person living with Dean all along. Castiel couldn't hold it back anymore, so he did the same thing Dean had done. He pulled him into a hug, hiding his face as the tears started to fall. Dean hugged back instantly this time.

"My mom, she's.. I'm not.. Out. Yet." Dean nodded into his shoulder. "I have a friend we can go to though. His parents are never home anyway." Dean nodded again, but neither of them moved. They had all the time in the world. Castiel didn't care that he had school later, it didn't matter, not now.

"Alright," Dean said when they finally moved away from each other. "It's in the middle of the night though." Castiel waved a dismissive hand and then grabbed Dean's hand, leading him in the right direction. Balthazar's house was just a five minute walk away from Castiel's house.

"He'll understand," he said. "He's one of my closest friends." Dean kept his gaze forward.

"So he knows what.. What I've been doing to you all these years." Castiel looked at him, but decided to keep walking. He squeezed his hand. 

"You can tell me about that later, but it's our own business. He knows that. No one blames you, Dean. I don't blame you for anything." Dean didn't answer, so they walked in silence. Castiel guided him over the road, to the left, then right, straight forward for ten minutes and then to the left again. Not long after the were at Balthazar's house, which was huge. His parents were filthy rich, both of them world famous lawyers that almost exclusively represented criminals that were obviously guilty. They were just good enough to sow doubts in the jury in at least nine out of ten cases. 

"Are you sure this is okay?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded and then pushed the doorbell and knocked harshly on the door. Dean didn't say anything while he repeated the process around four times before the lock clicked open and the door swung inwards.

"What the fuck, dude?" Balthazar mumbled, holding on tight to a blanket he had wrapped around him. Castiel guessed that he wasn't decent under it, so he really hoped that he didn't let it fall to the floor.

"Can we stay the night?" Castiel asked. Balthazar looked at both of them, suddenly a bit more awake when he obviously connected the dots. He nodded and moved out of the way to let them in. He closed and locked the door again. "Thank you." 

"I'm Balthazar," he said to Dean, holding his hand out. He was smiling, even if it was a bit forced. Still he didn't say anything, which Castiel would thank him for later. 

"Dean." They shook hands and then Balthazar gestured for them to follow him. Dean looked around in awe as they walked through the living room, up the stairs and then down a long hall. It was a huge house, and the build of it was more like a manor than a house, complete with a huge fireplace in the living room and a staircase that was way bigger than necessary. Balthazar stopped next to the second to last door down the hall.

"There's two guestrooms, if you need. This one and the next door, so you can just.. Choose." With that he offered a smile and a gentle squeeze on Castiel's shoulder before he disappeared into the door closest to the stairs. 

"It's up to you," Castiel said, looking at Dean with a gentle smile on his face and a small hope in his chest. Dean looked at the door closest to them, then the other, and back to Castiel.

"Can I sleep with you?" Dean whispered, like he was afraid that someone would hear, even if they were alone.

"Of course. Anytime you want." Dean opened the door, and gasped.

"How rich are his parents? Jesus." Castiel laughed. "There's a bathroom in here!" He said excitedly, letting go of Castiel's hand to look inside the bathroom. "It's huge!" He popped his head out to smile at Castiel.

"They're very rich and very boring." Castiel made his way to the bed, sitting on the side of it, waiting for Dean's excitement to end. Or, at least, go down to a level that made it possible to get him to lay down in the huge bed. He simply watched Dean move from the bathroom to the windows, looking out at the huge backyard. It was completely empty, Castiel knew, because they never used it. 

"We should just move in here," Dean mumbled. Castiel smiled to himself. He wouldn't mind that. Come to think of it, Balthazar probably wouldn't either, and his parents wouldn't even notice. He decided not to mention that. Well, not yet at least.

"Wanna go to bed?" Dean turned and nodded, a shy smile on his face. Castiel found himself wondering if Dean had slept with other people before. He wouldn't blame him or anything if he had, he was simply curious. Castiel pulled the hoodie off, then the socks and shoes, but kept the pants on. He didn't want Dean to feel like he expected anything tonight. Dean stripped down to his boxers before they both crawled under the covers, laying down on their sides to look at each other.

"I'm glad you found me," Dean whispered. 

"Me too," Castiel whispered back. He then turned to lay on his back, and held his arm out, prompting Dean to come closer. He did, without hesitation, laying down close to him, putting his head on his chest. Castiel pulled him as close as he could, wrapping his arms around him. "I'm gonna make it all better," he murmured. Then he kissed Dean's head and closed his eyes, stroking his hand up and down Dean's back. He would, he promised himself. He would make everything better, whatever it took, however long it would take. He'd do anything and everything for the person he was holding close, and he would make sure that he knew that too. 

"You're warm," Dean mumbled into his chest. It wasn't a complain. Dean was freezing cold after being out in the cold in only his t-shirt, so Castiel stopped stroking his back for a second to pull the covers further up, tucking it gently around his neck. The last thing he did before they fell asleep was kiss Dean on the top of his head a few times while listening to his breathing. Yeah, Castiel thought. Anything and everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Another chapter so soon?" you may ask. Why yes, I answer. I have no life and two days off work. Thanks for all the comments and kudos, it makes me so happy to know that so many of you enjoy this story, because I enjoy it immensely too! 
> 
> Also, for those who worry about Sam, have no fear! I have two reasons for not including him in this chapter. First is, he is at a sleepover and Dean doesn't really know where Brady lives, and it wouldn't be right for Dean's character to disturb Sam with his own problems right away. And second, it didn't feel right to include Sam and Dean's moment in Cas's chapter, so I wanted to include him in Dean's chapter instead. There will be hugs. ｡◕‿◕｡


	6. Talk to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

When Dean opened his eyes the next day, the first thing he noticed was the sun streaming in from the windows. He hummed and closed his eyes again, enjoying the warmth. It took him a few seconds before his brain registered that this wasn't his room. His eyes shot open and he stiffened when someone behind him moved right before an arm was thrown over him and he was pulled against the person. Who was -

"Good morning," Cas murmured into his neck. Dean instantly relaxed and let out a sigh of relief. "Is something wrong?" Dean shook his head, a smile on his lips.

"No," he mumbled. "Everything's great." Cas started to kiss his neck, pulling a small moan out of him. Dean could feel him smiling against his skin. "What time is it?" 

"Don't know," Cas mumbled before he continued kissing his neck and shoulder. "Don't care." Dean chuckled, had to admit to himself that he didn't really care either. He didn't care about school, about his dad or.. "Do you have somewhere you need to be?" Cas asked. 

"No, not really. I mean, school, but that's not really too important for me right now." He grabbed Cas's hand and intertwined their fingers together before he kissed the top of his hand gently. This was so much nicer than Dean could've ever imagined - and he had imagined it all. How they would meet, what his soulmate would say, what he would look like. What he would taste like. His thoughts quickly went in a very different direction until he was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. 

"You guys awake and decent?" Balthazar's muffled voice came through the door. 

"Yeah," Cas answered while they both sat up in bed right before the door opened and Balthazar strolled in. He was holding a bag that he put down on the bed.

"A couple of toothbrushes, some soap if you want to shower and some water. 

"You went to the store to get stuff for us?" Cas asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Don't get used to it, love." Dean felt a pang of jealousy go through him, but he quickly pushed the feeling down. Balthazar left, softly closing the door. 

"Do you want to shower first?" Cas asked. Dean had to stop himself from asking Cas if they could shower together, instead nodding in response. He grabbed his clothes and the bag, hurrying into the bathroom so he could use the door as a shield to keep between him and Cas. It was too soon for that, for showering together and kissing, but Dean wanted. He didn't even know if Cas wanted. It would have to wait. They had a lot to talk about anyway. Cas's muffled voice seeped through the door, and Dean couldn't help but place his ear against the door to listen.

It was just mumbling at first, and then, "I'm fine. I'll be home later or something, I slept over at Balthazar's house." A pause. "Stop calling him that! No, I'll talk to you later. No. No." Cas let out a groan. He sounded frustrated, so Dean jumped in the shower. After he was done showering and brushing his teeth, he went out to join Cas again. He was sitting on the bed, just waiting.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked.

"You heard me talking on the phone, huh?" Cas asked, but he didn't look mad. He looked amused, if anything. Dean joined him on the bed, sitting in front of him.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Sorry."

"My mother is a very narrow-minded woman," Cas said. "She doesn't like Balthazar simply because Balthazar likes men." Dean didn't know what to say to that. He knew his father had the same opinion, which was why Dean was hiding it from him. Which was why he would have to hide Cas from him.

"I have a brother," Dean said instead of bringing his father up. "I think.. I don't think he would care that I'm gay." It was the first time he had said it out loud. It seemed fitting that the first person he would tell was his soulmate. 

"What's his name?" Cas asked.

"Sam. I call him Sammy. Well, I used to, we don't talk much these days. He's twelve and moody." Cas frowned, but otherwise didn't comment on it. There was so much he would have to tell him about his father and about Sam. He didn't know when to start.

"Would he help you get some stuff from your home if you asked?" Dean blinked. Why would he need stuff?

"Stuff?" Dean asked, confused. 

"Dean, you can't go back there." He swallowed hard, looking down at his hands, flexing them a couple of times. He knew Cas was right. He should've left a long time ago. It was just.. "You probably don't want to leave your brother, but.. We can go talk to him, can't we?" Dean nodded. Of course they could. Sam needed to hear this, something needed to change, and it was better that Dean was the one who changed it. Not their father. 

"Alright," he said. "You'll come with?" Cas nodded. After Cas had a quick shower, they discovered that the clock was close to three in the afternoon. They had some water, went out to get some food, and then went to Sam's school. Dean figured it was best to talk outside the house. They stood outside, staring at each other while the sun shared its warmth with them, neither of them really knowing what to say.

"Dean?" He whipped his head around to see Sam standing there, Brady on one side and some boy Dean didn't know on the other side. "I'll talk to you guys later," Sam said before Dean could explain. The two boys strolled away, whispering among themselves. "You're his soulmate." Cas nodded. "You're gay." Dean swallowed hard, but nodded. "And you've been in another fight." Dean flinched and looked briefly over at Cas, but didn't get a chance to say anything before he went off.

"Fight? You think this was your brother's fault? It wasn't a fight, it was a fucking assault." Dean's mouth fell open. He meant to stop him, to say something, but his body wasn't cooperating. "It's your father's fault, not Dean's. You have no right to blame him." Sam was staring at Cas with wide eyes. "Dean didn't -" He stopped him by putting a hand on his forearm.

"Cas," he whispered. His voice wasn't strong enough, and he had to bite his lip to keep him from crying. Cas looked at him, again understanding Dean without him having to say anything. 

"I didn't know," Sam said. They both turned to look at him, tears streaming down his face, his shoulders slumped. "I swear I didn't -" A sob kept him from saying more, so Dean simply walked over and pulled him into a hug. Now they were both crying. Cas simply stood behind them, patiently waiting for their chick flick moment to end. It took a while. 

"I shouldn't have assumed that.." Cas started, looking nervously at Sam. "I'm sorry I yelled at you." Sam walked over, suddenly looking very grown up, but maybe that was just because Dean hadn't really looked at him for the last few months, and held his hand out to Cas.

"You were just worried about Dean," he said. "I get it. It's good. I'm Sam." They shook hands, and Dean couldn't help but feel.. Proud. They hadn't really talked yet, or made a plan, but they were going to. They were going to fix it, all three of them. Dean couldn't have done it by himself, but with Sam and Cas by his side? Yeah, that was all he needed. Thoughts about where they could go, what would happen from here on out and what stuff he needed to get from the house moved too quickly around in his mind for him to really get a grasp on it. Sam would know. He was smart. 

"We should go somewhere more private. Talk some more." Cas walked over to him, offering his hand. Dean took it, no hesitation, even though they were in public. He would've denied his sexuality for years if it hadn't been for Cas, but he was here, and he finally felt like he could show it. The bruises and flowers that made it hard for anyone to not know that they were soulmates would fade, but that didn't matter. They would hold hands and nobody could keep them from that. He wouldn't let them.

"Yeah," Dean said, smiling. "Do you think Balthazar would mind one more guest?" Cas laughed and shook his head. 

"No," Cas said. "I don't think he would. Just a fair warning though, he has probably already texted my two other friends. He loves gossip." Dean sighed, nervous about meeting all of Cas's friends. He hoped they would understand that he wouldn't be able to tell them everything right away, that they would believe Cas when he said that this wasn't his fault. Not lately anyway. "We'll be fine." Dean nodded, determined. Yeah, he thought. They would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went on a writing spree last night, after having so many ideas in my head while working all weekend, so here's some love ♥‿♥ I also slept like ten hours after my last shift, so I'm full of energy! I have over a month off from work after Friday, so I'll most likely post very often from now on. I also want to use the extra free time to work on some of my other stories as well! 
> 
> And also, WOW! I've reached 100 kudos on this story, and I legit cried when I saw! I never thought so many people would enjoy my story, but all that and the kudos really proved me wrong! You guys are the best!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr! /xMaeHughes


	7. Trust me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

Balthazar absolutely did not mind another guest. Castiel had a feeling that it was because he wanted to get in on the drama so he could gossip to Meg and Charlie. It didn't really matter, they would know what was going on either way, since either he himself or Dean would have to tell them at some point. They were his best friends after all. Balthazar ordered pizza and then asked to speak with him in private while Sam and Dean watched some TV. 

"Alright, wanna tell me why I'm taking in your soulmate and his brother?" Castiel sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter. 

"I won't tell you everything, not until I've talked more with Dean." Balthazar nodded in understanding, so he continued. "It's their father, so we can't stay there. And we can't exactly stay at my house, with my mother being.." 

"A bitch?" Balthazar suggested. Castiel let out a dry laugh, but didn't argue on it. 

"He spent the night outside, and I had a nightmare that woke me up in the middle of the night. I decided to take a walk and we met outside the train station. We had nowhere else to go." Castiel didn't really know what else to say, but Balthazar seemed to be alright with the little information he'd been given. For now. 

"My parents are out of town for another week. You can at least stay until then. All of you." Castiel smiled and pulled him into a hug, thanking him. "Just be quiet when you go at it." He pushed him away and scowled at him, then walked out of the kitchen while Balthazar laughed behind him. 

"What's so funny?" Sam asked. 

"Nothing!" Castiel blurted out, a slight blush on his cheeks, before Balthazar could say anything. Dean lifted an eyebrow, but didn't ask. The pizza came, Balthazar paid and they all sat down to eat in front of the TV. Castiel sat down on the floor, right in front of Dean, Balthazar sat in the chair next to the couch and Sam sat right next to Dean, a little closer than necessary. Or maybe it was, at least now. Afterwards they just watched whatever boring show was on the TV, Castiel waiting for Dean to figure out that he was ready to talk. It took a while, almost an hour, before Dean cleared his throat to get everybody's attention. 

"Sam, maybe we can talk? Alone?" Sam nodded and everyone except Balthazar got up. "I just need to.." Castiel interrupted him with a kiss on the forehead. 

"Go. Talk. I'll just wait here. You can just use our, uh, bedroom." Dean beamed, smiling wide at him before he guided Sam upstairs so they could be alone. 

"Our bedroom, huh?" He turned to face Balthazar, who had a smirk on his face. Castiel folded his arms and slumped down in the couch. "When are you gonna tell Meg and Charlie?" Castiel snorted.

"Like you haven't already texted them", he mumbled. 

"I'm wounded, darling, what kind of friend would I be if -" 

"What's up, bitches!" Balthazar froze, an apologetic smile on his face.

"What kind of friend indeed," Castiel deadpanned before he turned his attention to Charlie. "Where's Meg?" he asked. Charlie half-jumped, half-crawled over the back of the couch, landing next to him.

"Dinner with the family," Charlie said. "I'm sure she'll come running once it's over." 

"I'm sure," Castiel mumbled. He wasn't ready for this. He thought he would he, he thought it would be easy for some reason. But his mind provided him with all of these 'what if's' whenever he tried to decide what to say. What if Dean didn't want him to say that? What if he'd misunderstood and he wasn't telling something accurate? He knew so little still. 

"So," Charlie prompted. "Where's your boyfriend?" 

"We haven't exactly had the boyfriend talk yet, Charlie." Castiel turned to see if Sam and Dean was nearby, but they were most likely going to be up there for quite a while. "You have to be patient." Charlie nodded.

"What about all the.. Flowers?" she whispered. Her eyes flickered momentarily down to his neck. He let his fingers run over the flowers he knew was there. It wasn't easy to forget them since he could so clearly see Dean's bruises when they were together. He couldn't wait until the bruises faded. He'd make sure he never got more of them.

"It's not his fault, Charlie, his father.." He trailed off, looking down at his hands, then up at Charlie in hopes that she would understand. A sad expression on her face made it clear that she did. "Thank you." She pulled him into a tight hug. 

"What are you gonna do now?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know, I – I don't know enough yet. He needed to talk to his brother first." Castiel took a deep breath, trying not to freak out. It wasn't easy, it was a lot to think about. The front door slammed shut, and seconds later Meg strolled in.

"Where is he? How mad are we?" Castiel rubbed his temples and turned to Balthazar.

"You really didn't tell them anything other than that I found him?" Balthazar shook his head. "We're not mad at him, Meg. He's talking to his brother." Meg squinted her eyes at him, then strolled over and sat down on the other side of him.

"It's his father," Charlie said to her. Meg blinked, then nodded in understanding. Castiel smiled. "What?" Charlie asked, smiling back.

"I'm lucky to have you guys," he said. "Even you, Balth." They shared a laugh, though it died quickly. "I just need all of you to trust me when I say that it's not his fault." He received nods from all of them. Meg placed her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Is he hot?" she whispered. Castiel huffed a laugh under his breath.

"Yeah," he whispered back. "He's hot." Then they simply watched whatever boring show that came on while Charlie grabbed the a slice of pizza. Castiel wasn't thinking too hard about anything now, he was just itching to be close to Dean again. He constantly checked the watch on the wall. Almost an hour passed before noises came from the stairs, causing Castiel to immediately turn around, leaning on the back of the couch. Dean froze a bit when he saw Meg and Charlie, but still approached, walking close to Sam. Castiel was sure the bravery of Dean would never cease to amaze him. He faced all of them with his head raised and a smile on his lips. Still, Castiel could see that he was nervous. 

"Hi," he said with a small wave when he came close. "I'm Dean." 

"I'm Sam." Sam walked forward and shook hands with both Meg and Charlie. Castiel wondered where he'd gotten the manners from. Did they even have a mom? Other relatives?

"I'm Charlie, I'm the nice friend." Meg snorted.

"I'm Meg," she said. "And I'm not that bad." Balthazar mumbled something, but didn't repeat it when Meg challenged him. Castiel kept his eyes on Dean, waiting for him to make the next move.

"Well, um.." Dean started. Then he cleared his throat and continued with, "Sam is going to grab some of our stuff from home. He needs a ride though." All of them could drive, but the only one with a car available was Balthazar, so Castiel looked over at him.

"Yeah, yeah." He got up, stretched and gestured for the door. "Wanna go right now, kid?" Sam nodded. He then hugged Dean and waved goodbye to everyone before they left, chattering among themselves.

"What do you wanna do now?" Castiel asked. Dean hesitated, briefly looking at Meg while fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt.

"Maybe we could talk alone?" he asked. "Unless I'm interrupting and you guys wanna -" Castiel got up and interrupted him.

"Let's go talk. Meg and Charlie can entertain themselves." Meg complained, but Charlie agreed and sent them on their way. Dean grabbed his hand when he got close, and they walked with their shoulders brushing against each other. "How did it go with Sam?" Castiel asked when the bedroom door was closed behind them. 

"Good," Dean said, a shy smile on his face. They sat down on the bed, Castiel beckoning for Dean to lay on his chest while he sat up against the headboard. "It was good to finally stop lying." Castiel kissed his head and waited for him to continue. "Guess I have a lot to tell you," he mumbled.

"You don't have to," Castiel said, pulling Dean closer. "You can tell me whatever you're comfortable with telling me. I trust you." Dean huffed a laugh.

"I'll never be comfortable with any of this, but.. I want to tell you. I want you to know." Castiel nodded against him and started to stroke his back, wanting to comfort him and urge him on with his story. "Then we can figure out what to do. How to make it all better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up until now, it's mostly been about just Dean and Cas. From here on out, the ones who love them will surround and help them! (◕‿◕✿)
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos and comments, it's so surreal for me to get this kind of attention! I enjoy interacting and talking with all of you, and I love this story so much! Like I said before, I have little to do this summer, so it'll probably be close to daily updates. Not to worry, I'm still sleeping, eating and getting some sun! (ᵔᴥᵔ)
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr! /xMaeHughes


	8. Listen to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

Cas felt warm and soft against him, so he took his time, just laying with his head on his chest, his arms wrapped around him. He didn't say anything either, didn't try to rush or push Dean, which was good. He needed to do this, but if he would've been pressured into it, he never would've been able to say what he was gonna say. That he was partially to blame.

"I was fighting," he started. "Before, I mean. I got in fights with some guys from school all the time." Cas stayed quiet, so Dean continued. "The first fight was.. Well, I guess you remember when it was, but it was really dumb. This kid - Michael - kept shouting really offensive things about my mom, so I punched him." 

"I think I would've done the same, if someone said stuff about my dad." Cas didn't say anything else, so Dean made a mental note to ask about his father later before he continued.

"He was a lot bigger than me, so I lost big time. After that we just.. Kept on fighting for no real reason. He always knew exactly what to say to pull me in, still does. But I stopped, I swear I did." He sat up to look at Cas then, wanting him to believe him. 

"Yeah," Cas said. "Those 46 days.." He trailed off, a pained look on his face. Dean nodded. He remembered the number too, the exact number of days that passed between the last fight he'd been in with Michael and the first time his dad had hit him. 

"Michael backed off when he saw that someone else was beating me anyway," Dean mumbled. "Now he just looks at me with pity in his face, it's so fucking dumb. Anyway.." Cas moved closer, so they were sitting right next to each other, putting one arm around him and leaning on the other. And then, he waited for Dean to start again. "He drinks, my dad. He's been doing it for years, but it got worse after he had to sell the car. He loved that car more than he loves me. So now he's just sitting around, drinking and sleeping, while me and Sam just take care of our selves as best we can really."

"But Sam didn't know? How could he not know?" Cas asked. 

"Dad never did it in front of him and I'm good at lying. Hid in the room until the next day, so he'd think I'd been in a fight at school. Didn't correct him when he told me to stop fighting." He looked up at Cas, seeing nothing but understanding in his eyes. 

"Well, no more lying now." Dean nodded. 

"My mom was killed when I was ten. Some drunk idiot tried to rob her or whatever, stabbed her in the stomach when she fought back." He bit his lip, trying to stop the tears from forming in his eyes, without success. "And my dad carries around his flowers like a coffin." Cas had tears in his eyes when Dean looked up at him. "I think I'm the one who is suppose to cry," Dean said with a playful smile. Cas laughed and wiped the tears.

"I'm sorry, I'll cry silently. Go on." Cas put his head on Dean's shoulder, sniffling a few times before he went quiet again. Dean took the chance to kiss his head, then he intertwined their hands together and continued.

"Dad doesn't work, but my mom's parents send him some money every month. They don't know or care that he's drinking the money away. I think they just feel sorry for us. I haven't even seen them since the funeral." Cas mumbled something under his breath, but Dean ignored it. "That's about it, I guess." 

"What about other relatives? Friends?" Cas asked. Dean shrugged.

"I mean, we didn't have a lot of people around us from the start, but dad drove the rest away any way he could. Most of 'em have given up on us." Dean hesitated. "But.. Maybe.." he mumbled, more to himself. 

"What?" Cas said, urging him to continue. 

"Just.. Dad had a friend he'd known since they were kids, he kinda became like an uncle to us. He calls sometimes, send us cards on birthdays and holidays. He used to stop by, until dad punched him one time." Dean still didn't know why they were fighting and his dad refused to tell him, but if he had to guess, he was probably just pushing him away too. The last person that hadn't given up on him.

"Does he live in town?" Cas asked. "Would he help?"

"Yeah, and I.. Think so. Bobby is a good person. I don't have his number or anything, dad deleted that from our phones." Dean put Cas's hands in between his own, tilting his head as he looked down at them. "I know where he lives though." 

"Then we go to him," Cas said, nothing but determination in his voice. "And -" 

"Can we just.. Talk about other stuff now?" Dean looked up at him, still holding his hands tightly in between his own, pleading with his eyes. Cas closed his mouth and nodded. "I don't know anything about you," he mumbled, a smile on his lips.

"I don't know where to start," Cas said.

"I don't know, your last name? Birthday? Where do you live? What school do you go to?" Cas laughed, causing Dean to blush. "Sorry." Cas shook his head. 

"Don't apologize." Cas kissed his head and then hummed before he started to talk about himself. "My last name is Novak and my birthday is July tenth. I live five minutes from here, so I go to Oak High School. Your turn." Dean grinned.

"Winchester, January twenty-fourth. I live like fifteen minutes from here, close to the hospital, so I go to Truman High School.." Dean frowned. "I can't believe we've been this close the whole time." Cas simply laughed, so Dean couldn't help but smile. It was a wonderful sound, listening to his soulmate laugh. Not that the laugh was anything special in itself, it was just the person it was coming from. A sound that reminded him that things weren't that bad, not anymore. "Wait, are we the same age? Are you a Senior too?" Cas nodded.

"It's weird, feeling like I know you when I.. Don't." They shared a soft smile and Dean considered, for just a moment, to lean in for a kiss. If he was just a little braver, he would've. "What about college?" Dean's stomach dropped. College. Of course Cas was going to College, of course he had plans!

"I'm not - I haven't even thought about it. I figured I'll just get a job someone like me can do and -"

"Someone like you?" Cas frowned.

"Well, yeah. Sam's got the brains of the family, I can help him with expenses when he's going to college." Dean shrugged.

"You do know that there's not a one brain per family regulation?" Cas was smiling for some reason. 

"Cas, I don't really know how to do anything. I haven't exactly paid attention in school or whatever. All I've been doing is -"

"Surviving?" Cas suggested. Dean huffed and looked away. "Dean, you're wonderful and you don't need school to be smart. What do you want to do?" Dean shrugged, so Cas poked him gently on his ribs, making him laugh.

"Cas, stop!" He was laughing and trying to stop Cas from poking him, while Cas tried his best to continue the poking. He laughed while he got up on his knees, now straight up tickling Dean. When the laughter finally died down and Cas stopped tickling him, Dean was on his back under him, while Cas was straddling his stomach. 

"Uh.." Cas didn't seem to know what to say or do either, so they just stared at each other. It took all of Dean's willpower not to just pull Cas down by his shirt and kiss him. 

"I'd be a mechanic," he blurted out instead. 

"What?" Cas was blushing now.

"You asked what I want to do," Dean reminded him. "I'd be a mechanic. Like Bobby." Cas grinned and poked Dean one last time in the ribs. Dean swatted him away, but instantly regretted it when Cas got off of him, sitting down by the headboard instead. Dean got up as well and cleared his throat. "What about you?" Dean tried to look relaxed, but it didn't seem like Cas was buying it.

"I applied to the local college," Cas said. Dean blinked. The local college wasn't bad, but it was far from the best, so only applying to that one college isn't a normal thing to do, Dean knew that much. "I don't really know what I want to to yet, but I enjoy learning. Maybe something to do with books." 

"Huh." Cas tilted his head. "Oh, I just mean.. You just seem so, put together, I guess. Like you have it all figured out." Cas snorted and threw a pillow at him. 

"I haven't figured anything out really," Cas said. Dean threw the pillow back and, after Cas put it away, he crawled over and put his head in his lap. "We'll figure it out together." He smiled down at Dean while stroking his thumb over Dean's right cheek. 

"Alright," Dean whispered. "Together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos, comments and my loyal Tumblr followers! You guys are the best! I've probably mentioned this before, but English is my second language and I don't have a beta reader on this. I don't really feel like I need one either, so that won't change. But that being said, if I've made any grammatical errors, feel free to tell me in the comments! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ


	9. We'll be fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a world full of temporary things, you are a perpetual feeling.

Together. Castiel really liked saying it. They were together, they were gonna be together from now on. Together, together, together. He repeated it like a mantra in his head, even when they were talking. Partially because he liked saying it, and partially because.. Well, he needed something to encourage him right now. Because everything from here on out was going to be hard. 

"We should probably go to school tomorrow," Dean mumbled. Castiel sighed, but knew he was right, so he simply nodded in defeat.

"Alright, but.." Castiel hesitated.

"What?" Dean looked up at him, his eyes knitted tight together.

"Should we go to the police tomorrow?" Dean immediately sat up, just barely avoiding clashing their head together.

"No." Dean didn't look mad. No, he looked.. Scared. Worried. Castiel opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it. He understood. No, he knew.

"Sam," he mumbled. Dean simply nodded. They stared at each other for a while, neither saying anything. "Bobby can help come up with a plan, if he says yes to help."

"What if he doesn't say yes?" Dean asked immediately.

"Then -" Castiel paused to put his hand on Dean's cheek, "We simply make sure your father can't hurt you. Or Sam." Dean leaned against his hand, tilting his head just a little. 

"Okay," Dean whispered. "Yeah." Dean seemed to lean in a bit, but Castiel couldn't be entirely sure if it was for a kiss or not, especially since they were interrupted by the front door downstairs slamming shut so hard that they both flinched. "What the hell?" Dean mumbled while they jumped off of the bed and hurried downstairs. Sam stood not far from the front door, tears streaming down his face. His t-shirt had a tear in it. Balthazar stood right behind him, a bag in one hand, a backpack in the other, and a black eye. Castiel gasped and Dean ran to Sam, hugging him as he started to sob again.

"What the hell happened?" Castiel asked.

"Well, John didn't seem to appreciate that Sam was leaving." Balthazar put the bag and backpack down next to the door. "I really hope you guys have a plan."

"Yeah, we do." Dean was holding Sam tightly against his chest.

"Where – where are we gonna go, Dean?" Sam asked once he had managed to stop crying. His voice was a bit hoarse though, like he'd been yelling a lot. Maybe he had. Yelled at his father, asking him to stop. Castiel suddenly felt a bit sick.

"We're gonna go to Bobby, ask him for help." Dean ruffled Sam's hair and smiled at him. Sam gave a quick smile in return, which was all he managed before he started crying again. Castiel checked his cellphone.

"It's only seven pm. We could go there right now." Both Balthazar and Dean nodded in agreement. "Can I borrow the car?" 

"Of course," Balthazar said, no hesitation as he handed him the keys. "Borrow it for as long as you want." He patted Castiel on the shoulder and walked into the living room. It didn't take long for Charlie and Meg to come out into the hallway to say goodbye, just in case they didn't come back. Charlie hugged Castiel tight.

"If he doesn't help, just come back here." Charlie then went over to Sam and Dean, offering hugs to both of them, which they happily accepted. After living with their father for so long, they must really be touch starved, both of them. At least that's what Castiel suspected. 

"Thank you," Dean said. Charlie smiled to both of them, then left to join Balthazar in the living room. Meg hugged Castiel quickly, cleared her throat and looked at Sam and Dean.

"Stay safe," she said. And then she mumbled, "And yeah, you're welcome back here, I guess." Then she left. Castiel smiled wide, despite everything.

"Huh," Dean said, a playful smile on his face. "I guess she really isn't that bad." Castiel laughed, then went over to them and kissed Dean on his forehead. 

"Let's go," he said. Then he looked down at Sam. "Are you alright?" Sam nodded. He grabbed Dean's hand while they headed out. Castiel hesitated, but decided to grab the bag and backpack, just in case Bobby really was as willing to help as Dean said he would be. Sam and Dean hopped in the backseat, Sam with his head on Dean's shoulder. He looked so much younger when he was like this. 

"I'm sure Bobby will help," Dean whispered to Sam. Castiel focused on the road, even though all he wanted to do was stare at Dean. "Don't you think so?"

"Yeah," Sam whispered back. “I wouldn’t mind living with him.” Castiel smiled. It was cute how they were having a small, quiet moment, so he didn't say anything while they whispered back and forth about some of their good memories with Bobby and how much they had missed him, even if they hadn't realized it. Dean only spoke up to Castiel when he needed to tell him where to drive. Bobby lived half an hour away from Balthazar's house and ten minutes outside of town. Dean directed him to take a turn onto a dirt road in between two empty fields, which led them to what he could only describe as a junk yard. A cozy one though. He parked next to a big, old house, and they all went outside. 

"His car is here, so I guess he's home." Dean walked up to the front door and knocked a few times, Sam standing right behind him. Castiel stood a bit further back, not wanting to impose. It felt like a sort of family reunion – at least to him. The door creaked open, a grumpy old man standing right inside. He was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and a caps on his head. He hadn't shaved in at least a week, and he didn't strike him like a man that had planned to shave in the nearest future either. It didn't take long for him to smile and pull the two boys into a hug. When they separated, Bobby cleared his throat and looked over at Castiel.

"Dean's soulmate, if 'm not mistaken," Bobby said. No malice or judgment in his voice, so Castiel let out a sigh of relief and then nodded. " Let's go inside." He gestured for all of them to go inside, moving to the side to let them through the door. "Does your old man know you're here?" Dean shook hos head.

"Sam and a friend of Castiel went to get some stuff," Dean said. Then he mumbled, "He didn't take it so well," like it was a confession. Castiel grabbed his hand.

"You couldn't have known he'd react like that," Castiel whispered. Then he turned to Bobby and said, "He'd hadn't touched Sam before." Bobby simply nodded in understanding. 

"Well, he can't really do anything to force the two of you back. We'll take some pictures of the bruises, Dean. If he tries, we can just show them to the police." Dean opened his mouth to protest, but stopped when Bobby shot him a stern look. "I won't let them take Sam, boy. So don't go using that as an excuse. The two of you can stay here." Dean nodded. 

"Thank you," Sam said quietly.

"D'ya wanna stay for dinner?" Bobby asked Castiel. 

"I don't want to impose." Bobby simply waved his hand towards him and insisted that he'd stay.

"I'm making burgers," he stated. "Wanna help me, Sam?" 

"Yeah," Sam said, a playful smile on his face as he looked at Dean and Castiel. "I don't wanna hang with them now, they're gross." 

"Hey!" Dean said, a blush on his cheeks. Sam simply went into the kitchen, laughing. It was good, Castiel thought. That he was laughing again. Smiling. That Bobby was willing to help. That Sam and Dean wouldn't be near their father anymore. "We're not gross," he mumbled.

"I think we're adorable," Castiel said. Dean grinned when he kissed him on his cheek.

"Me too." He whispered it, like it was a secret, and then kissed Castiel on his cheek in return. 

"Everything's gonna be better now." Dean nodded. He was smiling, finally with a look of hope on his face. He looked relaxed and happy and beautiful. They were already so close to each other, just staring , so Castiel leaned in, slowly to let Dean get a chance to back away. He didn't though. Just before their lips touched, they could hear Sam yelling "gross" from the kitchen, but neither of them cared, especially when their lips met. It was a slow kiss, a soft one that was just right. It was exactly like he had imagined, with butterflies in his stomach and imaginary sparks flying, like all the cliches in every cheesy romance he'd read while waiting for his soulmate.

"It's already better," Dean whispered when they parted. 

"Yeah," Castiel whispered back. "It is." Sam teased them all through dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happiness, love, kissing, yay! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ This chapter made me smile, which seems weird, since I'm the one who came up with it, but I guess that's normal. Thanks for all the attention, both kudos and comments! Also, all my love and appreciation to everyone who subscribes to this story, and to those who have it bookmarked, and generally to everyone who follows it with me ♥‿♥


	10. A new home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others life.

Dean blushed all the way through dinner, taking comforting in Cas's hand holding his under the table while Sam teased them about being gross. Bobby seemed to find it funny, so he didn't stop Sam from doing it, but it didn't actually bother Dean that much. It was actually kind of nice, watching his little brother laugh and smile. Dean hadn't seen him talk this much in months. Dean did the dishes after dinner, Cas by his side as he wiped everything dry. Dean told him where to put everything, and every time Cas would pause to kiss him. It was quick and soft, but it made Dean smile so wide his cheeks hurt. Sam and Bobby was talking about school in the living room. 

"What about you, Dean?" Bobby asked when they joined them in the living room. "How's school going?" Dean fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

"Uh, it's – I'm not.. Doing that good. Not bad, just not.. Good. Average." Bobby patted the seat next to him, placing Dean in the middle of him and Sam. Cas grabbed a chair and sat down a few feet away from them.

"Dean, with everything that's been going on – everything your old man has been doing to you, I wouldn't have been surprised or mad if your grades were bad." Bobby put a hand on his shoulder. "You've been through a lot." He swallowed hard, determined not to cry. 

"I'll do better from now on." Dean meant it. As long as he had Bobby to keep his father away, he could do it. Being determined could get him a long way, even if Sam was the brain of the family. Everybody turned to Cas when his phone rang.

"Sorry, it's my mother.." He mumbled before he walked out of the living room, and then out of the house. Dean sighed.

"He didn't seem to happy about his mother calling," Bobby pointed out. Dean shook his head. "He's not in trouble, is he?" Dean shook his head again.

"She's not hurting him or anything, she's just.. She doesn't know that he's gay. Or that - that I'm his soulmate. A guy." Bobby nodded in understanding. Cas returned then, an apologetic look on his face.

"My mother demands that I come home," he explained. Dean stood up immediately, his mind going straight to 'don't leave me,' but he knew Cas had to go home at some point. Might as well be now, right? So instead of making it hard for the both of them, he offered to walk him out. "Thank you."

"Is she mad?" Dean asked when they were outside. Cas shrugged.

"She thinks I've been spending my days in Balthazar's bed." Cas sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I have to tell her about you. I just wish I could say that she'll be happy. I don't know how harsh her reaction might be, but.. I have to tell her at some point, might as well be now." Dean pulled him in for a hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"You could lie," Dean suggested. It felt like he was the one pushing him to do this, and he didn't want to do that. "Say my name is Deanna." Cas snickered, then kissed his head.

"No," he said. "I don't want to lie." Dean nodded.

"Alright, if.. If it's what you want." Cas pulled away, staring at him for a second before he moved in to kiss him. Dean didn't hesitate to return the kiss, which may have been a little less innocent than their first kiss, now that no one was looking. At least they thought no one was looking, until a sharp knock came from the window next to the door. They quickly pulled apart, finding Bobby standing inside of the window, wagging his finger at them. 

"Sorry," Cas half-yelled, getting a wave in return that obviously meant that he should probably leave now. "Seems he's jumped right into the parent role." Dean wasn't too happy about being interrupted, but he couldn't help but smile at that. It was nice, having a parent – even if Bobby wasn't family by blood. Family doesn't really end with blood. "Oh, I should give you my number." 

"I don't have a phone," he mumbled. Cas frowned, his head tilting slightly to the side. "Dad didn't wanna spend money on a phone for me, so.." Another knock on the window, only this time it was Sam. He put a piece of paper up against the window and pointed at it. "Sam does though." Cas smiled and pulled his phone out from the pocket on his jeans, squinting hard to see the numbers on the paper while he pressed away on his phone. Then he gave Sam a thumbs up and waved goodbye. 

"I'll text him my number. You can call me later." Dean nodded and gave him a quick kiss.

"Talk to you later." Cas pulled him into one final hug, got in the car and drove away. Dean sighed. They would probably meet up tomorrow, and they would talk before they went to bed, but it was still hard to actually be without him. 

"Is he going to tell his mother?" Sam asked when Dean entered the living room. 

"Yeah," Dean said. "I'm worried." 

"He can live here if she's mean," Sam said. 

"He'll get his own damn bedroom," Bobby muttered when he passed the living room, his hands filled with sheets and pillows. Sam rolled his eyes, while Dean felt a blush spreading on his cheeks. 

"Your cheeks are red again," Sam pointed out. Dean gabbed one of the small pillows on the couch and started to hit Sam with it. Sam just laughed and pushed the pillow away. "Your better half texted me, I wrote his number down. It's on the kitchen table."

"Thanks, Sammy." He grabbed the piece of paper off of the table, putting it in the pocket of his jeans, keeping it close. After that they watched some random movie that just happened to start when they turned the TV on. Bobby finished up their bedrooms, made some popcorn and brought soda before he joined them. The movie wasn't anything special, but it didn't matter, since they were talking over it anyway. It was domestic and calm and safe. A strange feeling, something he hadn't felt for so long that it was almost strange. Dean did struggle to relax a bit, almost like his body was expecting his father to storm in any second, but eventually his mind calmed down and his body melted into the couch.

"I got my first flower a few days ago," Sam suddenly said. Dean immediately panicked, but Sam told him to relax. "She must've scraped her knee." He rolled his pants up, so that the knee on his left leg was exposed. It had six flowers on it, the shape of it the same as a scraped knee would look like. The flowers were blue, in the same shape as his own. 

"Are you excited to meet her?" Dean asked. Sam nodded and smiled wide.

"I hope she's nice, like Cas is." Dean pulled Sam in and ruffled his hair a bit, despite Sam's protest.

"I'm sure she'll be a dork like you," Dean said, teasing him. Bobby was just watching, a fond smile on his face. "And then I can tease you for being gross." 

"I'm not going to be gross like you and Cas!" Sam protested. Dean snorted in response. 

"Trust me," Bobby said. "You'll be just as obsessed with your soulmate as Dean is with his." Sam huffed and folded his arms, sinking down on the couch. He mumbled a weak protest against the statement, but had a look of defeat on his face. Dean and Bobby shared a smile at that. "We'll buy you a phone tomorrow after school." Bobby patted him on his back.

"Thank you." Dean already knew that he would probably be texting Cas constantly. He hoped Cas would do the same. Maybe send some pictures. It would be nice to have some pictures he could stare at before he went to bed, if he couldn't sleep with Cas at least. 

"This movie sucks," Sam mumbled.

"Did the main character just die?" Dean asked, confused. 

"I don't even think that was the main character," Sam said with a laugh. "You were probably just too busy thinking about Cas to pay attention." Dean put him in a headlock – carefully – and ruffled his hair.

"You need a haircut, Sammy." Dean laughed while watching Sam try to put his hair back into place, but not quite succeeding. The movie seemed to go on forever, and all the characters seemed to die, so Dean asked if he could call Cas instead. Bobby agreed, and let him use the phone in the kitchen. The phone rang a few times before he picked up. 

"Hey, it's me. Dean." Cas laughed.

"Hello, Dean. Are you alright?" Dean smiled. He really liked Cas's voice.

"Yeah," he said. "Have you told your mother? How'd it go?" It was barely audible, but he could hear the sigh over the phone.

"I told her," Cas started. Dean held his breath, waiting to hear the rest. "It didn't go well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might have ended in a sad, mini cliffhanger, sorry?? ಥ_ಥ
> 
> Thanks for all the attention, I'm so happy you guys like this story! Don't hesitate to just say hi on Tumblr, or just tell me what you like about this chapter in the comments, even if it's just a small thing! I enjoy talking to all of you! (◕‿◕✿)


	11. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to check the tags, I've updated them a little!

Castiel hesitated just outside the door. He had considered just going to Balthazar and tells his mother that he'd come home the next day, but that would just mean another night of worrying about this. Also, that would mean he would have to sacrifice time he could be spending with Dean. With that thought in his head, he opened the door and stepped inside. 

"I hope you're not banging that faggot," was the first thing his mother said to him when he entered the kitchen. Castiel flinched, but shook his head. "Good." And with that, he knew exactly how this was going to go. He knew exactly what she would say when he told her that her only son was gay. Should he take Dean's advice? Lie? 

"Mom, I.." She lit a cigarette and leaned back in the chair. "I.."

"Speak up, you're mumbling. Your father was always mumbling, I hated that." He clenched his jaw and clenched his fists. 

"Stop talking about him like that!" He'd never yelled to his mother before, not even when he was a child. She looked at him with wide eyes for a few seconds, then she let out a dry laugh and tapped her finger on the cigarette, letting the ash fall to the floor.

"It's not polite to yell at your mother," she said, her voice steady. "I guess I always knew you'd rebel at one point." Castiel huffed and folded his arms, trying to calm down enough to actually tell her what he wanted – no, what he needed to say. 

"I have to.." He swallowed hard. Just say it. She'll throw you out. You can't live here. "I'm.." She's always hated you. She always hated your father. "Gay." It didn't take more than a second for her to react. She got on her feet so fast that the chair flew to the floor. The cigarette fell to the floor, forgotten.

"What did you say?" She was challenging him. Take it back, take it back. You can't. She knows, she has to know.

"You – you heard me," he stuttered, trying to keep his voice audible and steady. "I'm -" He trailed off when she took a few steps towards him, causing him to immediately take a few steps back. 

"That fucking fa -"

"Stop calling him that! Stop it! He didn't do this, I've been like this all along, it's how I am, it's me!" His mother looked at him with such disgust that Castiel didn't bother continuing the conversation. Instead he ran up the stairs, grabbed some stuff from his room, stuffed it in a bag and left. He could hear her yelling words after him, words she'd been calling Balthazar for years, but he ignored it. It didn't matter what he said. She wouldn't change. He didn't cry. He just drove over to Balthazar's house, knocked softly on the door and waited until the door opened. 

"What -" Balthazar looked down at the bag, and then up at him again. "Oh, love. I'm sorry." He put his arm over Castiel's shoulder and guided him in, softly closing and locking the door behind him.

"I don't feel sad," he said, eyebrows furrowed. "I don't feel anything really."

"I wish I could tell you that it would last," Balthazar said. "But you'll probably come crashing down later." Castiel simply nodded, put his bag down by the door and walked into the living room. "You can stay here for as long as you want." Balthazar got a glass of water and sat down next to him. The TV was on in the background, but even though he stared at it, he didn't really register what was happening on it. 

"Thank you," he said.

"Anytime," Balthazar said. Castiel put his head on Balthazar's shoulder. 

"I'll be eighteen in nine months anyway," he mumbled. "I would've moved out then. Probably." 

"Well, yeah. But not like this." Castiel sighed.

"No, I guess not," he mumbled in response. "At least Sam and Dean is safe. Bobby agreed to help, they're gonna live there from now on." 

"What if their father demands they come home?" Balthazar asked.

"Then Bobby will threaten to go to the police," Castiel explained. "He'll lose custody, so it won't change anything. The only reason they won't go to the police now is because Dean is afraid they'll separate them, even if it's only temporary." 

"That's good," Balthazar said. Then he chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny?" Castiel pulled back to look at him.

"No, it's just -" He laughed a bit more. "This is exactly what your mother didn't want. You're gay and living with me." Castiel blinked a few times, then joined in on the laughter. "It's a little funny," Balthazar said while wiping away some tears of joy.

"It really is," Castiel said when he was done laughing. Then he lay down on the couch, putting his legs over Balthazar's lap. "This is a much better house anyway." 

"That is true," Balthazar said. They sat like that for a while, watching the movie silently without actually paying attention, before Balthazar pushed Castiel's feet off of his lap. "I'm going to bed." Castiel nodded.

"See you tomorrow." Balthazar walked halfway out to the hallway before he turned.

"Wake me up if you need me," he said. "I'll even wear boxers just in case." 

"Yeah," Castiel mumbled. "I will." He wasn't sure if he would. Balthazar had done enough for him already. His black eye looked better already, but Castiel still felt guilty about it. He was the one who pulled his friend into this. He tried not to think about it. He turned to the TV again, reaching for the remote and clicked through the channels. Nothing good was on at this hour, but he had to stay awake until Dean called. He wanted to. Half an hour later, his phone rang. He tried not to be too quick answering when he saw that it was an unknown number. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, it's me. Dean." Castiel laughed, partially because he was happy to hear Dean's voice, and partially because Dean felt the need to introduce himself by name, like Castiel wouldn't recognize his voice anywhere.

"Hello, Dean. Are you alright?" Castiel sat up on the couch and pulled his legs against his chest, creating a safe bubble for himself while he talked to Dean.

"Yeah," Dean said. Then, "Have you told your mother? How'd it go?" Castiel couldn't help but sigh.

"I told her," Castiel started, then paused. "It didn't go well," he admitted. They both went silent for a few moments, both processing the whole thing. It was a lot to take in, Castiel knew. 

"Oh," Dean finally said, his voice low. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Dean. It's my mother's fault." Castiel swallowed hard, doing his best not to cry. He heard a sniffle over the phone. "This was unavoidable. She's always hated me anyway, ever since my father left." 

"You haven't told me about your father," Dean said.

"No, I.. I will. Just not now." It was somehow worse to talk about that, than the fact that his mother had basically just thrown him out. 

"Where are you?" Dean asked, worry in his voice.

"I'm at Balthazar's, don't worry." Dean sniffled again. It wasn't fair that he was making him cry, neither of them deserved any of this. Some days he was just angry. At his mother, his father, the universe. Because it wasn't fair. 

"Bobby says he'll buy me a cellphone tomorrow," Dean says, changing the subject. "Then we can text all the time. You can send me pictures so I can stare at you all day, when we're not together." Dean laughed. "God, I'm such a sap!" 

"You are," Castiel agreed, a smile on his face. "I like it. You have to send me pictures too. I wanna stare at you all day too, so I can be sappy too." A small laugh, then a long pause.

"It's gonna be alright, Cas." Dean cleared his throat. "I'm here for you. And your friends and - and Sam. Bobby too." Castiel wiped a few tears away, but they kept on coming, so he just silently cried while he continued to talk to Dean.

"Thank you. I could never have gotten out of that house if it weren't for you. I didn't realize how much I actually hated living there, you know? I was so used to it being like that. My mother making comments all the time and never hugging me." Castiel really hadn't even thought about it, probably just like Dean hadn't thought about how it would be if his father was kind. Mostly because it seemed so.. Far-fetched. 

"Do you regret it?" Dean asked.

"No," he answered without hesitation. "No, I don't." 

"That's good," Dean said. Then he could hear Bobby in the background, telling Dean to get off the phone. When Castiel checked the clock on the wall, it was close to midnight. "I gotta go." 

"Yeah, I heard. He's strict." Dean laughed. 

"A little. It's good though, it feels good." A pause. Castiel really didn't want to hang up. "We'll meet tomorrow, right?" 

"Yeah," Castiel said. "We'll meet tomorrow. Good night, Dean." 

"Good night, Cas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write, and I'm really sorry again (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) the angst and cute continues.
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos, comments and attention on Tumblr!!! ♥‿♥


	12. A new truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality denied comes back to haunt.

When Dean woke the next day, it wasn't to his father throwing his door open or Sam slamming the front door shut. No, it was to the smell of food and a soft knock on his bedroom door. 

"You awake, Dean?" Sam's voice came through the door. "There's breakfast." Dean rubbed his eyes while yawning, then stretched out on the bed, a smile on his face.

"I'm coming," he called out. He didn't move for a while though, he simply stared at the ceiling while the smell of bacon filled his nostrils. He felt refreshed. The only thing that was missing was Cas next to him. He pushed the thoughts of what Cas had been through last night away, got dressed and eagerly ran downstairs. 

"Eat your breakfast," Bobby said. "Then I have something to show you." Dean blinked in confusion, but Bobby simply left the kitchen with a smile on his face, and then the front door opened and shut. 

"What was that all about?" Dean asked. Sam shrugged and continued eating. He'd know soon enough, so he decided to just enjoy the food. Actual food, instead of bread with mold on it and a few pieces of ham in the fridge, but warm, newly made food. Bacon, eggs and bread. 

"I helped Bobby make it," Sam said, food in his mouth still. 

"You should've woken me up sooner, " Dean said. "I could've helped out too." Sam shook his head and swallowed the food.

"We both know that you need some sleep," Sam said, his tone that of a worried parent, instead of a twelve-year-old kid. Dean smiled down at the food. "I slept when I was at Brady's house. I'm guessing you didn't sleep all that much at home. With dad being there and all."

"I'm sorry, who are you and what have you done with my goofy little brother?" Dean teased. He didn't really wanna talk about that whole situation, not with Sam. He didn't need to know how bad it had been, it wasn't his burden to bare. That would've been a thought coming from the desperate part of his brain only days ago, but now? Now he didn't have to either talk to Sammy or no one. He had Cas. He would share everything with Cas, in time. Maybe Bobby would ask some questions soon too.

"I'm not goofy," Sam said. Dean simply snorted in response to that, and then they ate in silence. Sam finished first, cleaned his plate and went to get his stuff for school. The clock on the wall showed that it was almost an hour until Dean's first class, but the ride to the school would take around half an hour now, so he hurried with his food and cleaned up after himself.

"Bobby?" Dean called out from the porch. 

"Over here," Bobby yelled back. Dean followed his voice, turning around the corner of the closest garage he had, and then around the corner past some cars he had piled on top of each other. Bobby was standing with his arms folded, smiling, right next to..

"You bought the car?" Dean rushed over, gently running his fingers over the car, studying her with wide eyes. "Dad didn't tell me it was you." 

"Course I did," Bobby mumbled. "I know your dad really loved the car, but.. I really believe that you deserve her a hell of a lot more than him." Dean almost cried. 

"I really don't deserve all this," he mumbled. Bobby pulled him into a sideways hug, joining him in staring at the Impala. 

"You deserve it," Bobby said. "You'll believe it eventually." Dean didn't think so, but he nodded still. He would try at least, it was just a foreign concept to him by now. His mother had told him he deserved the world. That angels were watching over him and shit like that. But if angels had been watching over him, wouldn't they have intervened sooner? Wouldn't they have given him Cas sooner? No, Dean didn't believe that angels were watching over him. "Besides, now I don't have to drive you and Sam to school." Dean laughed.

"The only reason dad paid for my license was so I could drive him to and from bars," Dean mumbled. "This feels like a win." Bobby offered him the keys. 

"Good," he said. "Because she's yours now. You know how to take care of her?" Dean nodded.

"I've been doing it for years already. It sucked when I couldn't do it anymore." They both walked to the house, finding Sam sitting on the stairs outside of the front door, waiting patiently. 

"We can talk about your plans for next year later," Bobby said. "I think you'd be a good mechanic, if that's what you want. I can teach you a few things when you're not too busy staring at that boy of yours." Dean blushed and pushed Bobby gently away. 

"They're so grossly in love," Sam joined in. 

"Hey, watch it! Or I won't give you a ride to school." Sam grinned. "You knew, didn't you?" 

"Maybe." And with that, Sam got up and ran in the direction of the Impala, a firm grip on his backpack.

"I just have to get my stuff." Dean hurried to the bedroom - his bedroom - and got his stuff out of the bag on the floor. Sam had packed his school stuff, backpack and his favorite book. Dean hadn't realized how much his brother had grown up in the short time everything had been going on, but he had. He also hadn't realized hos much they needed each other. Things would be different from now on. It felt like a second chance to do it all right. 

"Here." Bobby gave him his credit card and code when Dean came downstairs again. "No arguing now, buy yourself a cellphone after school." Dean nodded, promising himself that he would find the cheapest cellphone he could find. Well, the cheapest one that he could use to send pictures to Cas at least.

"Can I.. Can I visit Cas after that?" Bobby nodded.

"Just bring Sam home first, alright?" Dean nodded, smiling from ear to ear. He couldn't wait to call Cas, to meet up with him and.. Comfort him. "Use the card to buy some lunch and dinner. I gave Sam some money he can use to buy food." 

"I can't -" Bobby gave him a stern look, his arms folded over his chest. "I mean, thank you." Sam was waiting next to the car, texting on his phone with a smile on his face. "Who're you texting, hmm?" Sam immediately locked the screen and put his phone in his pocket. 

"No one," he mumbled. Dean was delighted to find that Bobby hadn't thrown away anything in the car. All his cassettes were there, even the one he had been listening to the night before his father had sold the car while he was at school. He blasted AC/DC while Sam complained from the passenger seat. 

"You know the rule," Dean began. "Driver picks the music -"

"Shotgun shuts his cake-hole, I know." Sam put his tongue out in Dean's direction before he pulled his phone out again. Neither of them said anything while the car rumbled to life and Dean finally got to drive it on the smooth road again. Then, as if he had gathered up courage to say it, Sam mumbled, "I'm texting Jess." 

"Who's that?" Dean asked.

"She's a new girl at school. We're like best friends now." Sam turned the music down a bit. "She's not my soulmate." Dean nodded. "She didn't scrape her knees," Sam explained.

"Well, nothing wrong with being friends with someone of the opposite gender, Sammy." He shrugged.

"I'm just kinda worried that either of us will end up liking each other as more than friends," he admitted.

"Well, it might happen. You just have to choose if you want to ignore it if it does, or if you want to give it a chance still." Sam nodded. "Not all people choose to be alone until they find their soulmate."

"You did." Dean shrugged.

"I didn't find any interest in anyone else. Wouldn't have been wrong if I had, but I get that you're hesitant about it." Sam pocketed his phone again, leaning back in the seat.

"Yeah," was all he said. Then Dean turned the volume on the music up again and focused on the road. It felt like his relationship with his brother had already started to heal. Sam made it so easy, but maybe they hadn't really drifted apart as much as Dean had thought.

"I'll come pick you up after school," Dean said before Sam got out of the car. 

"Yeah, yeah. See you later!" A blonde girl was waiting for Sam by the gates, greeting him with a wide smile. She seemed to have a lot to tell Sam, her mouth moving fast while she gestured with her hands. Right before Dean drove off, Sam turned, waving goodbye before he walked with Jess into the schoolyard. Dean's smile lasted the rest of the drive, the walk into school, and then -

"Dean." He turned to see Mr. Speight, his history teacher, waiting for him outside of the classroom. "Let's talk in my office." Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally found a way to sneak my beloved Gabriel in here (◕‿◕✿) also, did ya'll really think I wasn't going to reunite Dean with his Baby?? That's crazy talk! ~(˘▾˘~)
> 
> Thanks for all the attention, to everyone who gives kudos, and all who comments, and to those who silently reads in the background! I'm so happy that this story got so popular, I'm really enjoying it! ♥‿♥


	13. Pulled away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth is not determined by the number of people telling it or willing to admit it.

His thoughts had spiraled a bit after the phone call with Dean, but he decided against waking up Balthazar. Instead he stared at the TV until he could barely hold his eyes open, carried his stuff to what would be his bedroom for the unforeseeable future, made sure his phone was charging and fell into a restless sleep. He woke a few minutes before there came a soft knock on the door. 

"I'm awake." The door opened, Balthazar standing there in a silk bathrobe that was clearly meant for seducing someone, not wandering around the house. 

"Did you get any sleep?" Castiel shrugged. "Should we ditch school?" Balthazar asked with a mischievous smile.

"No," Castiel said. He really wasn't in the mood for laughter and jokes. "I need to keep busy." Balthazar nodded. "I'm just gonna take a shower." He showered quickly, almost fell over when he tried to get his pants on and stared at himself with tired eyes when he brushed his teeth. Everything seemed to take forever, but when he checked the time, it had been no more than fifteen minutes since he entered the bathroom.

"Help yourself with whatever you want in the kitchen," Balthazar said while chewing on his own breakfast. Castiel didn't feel like eating, but grabbed a piece of bread and some jam he could chew on so Balthazar wouldn't nag. "Meg's picking us up." 

"It's like a ten minute walk from here," Castiel said. "Did you ask her to pick us up so I can tell her what happened last night?" 

"Maybe," Balthazar mumbled. "Charlie's coming too." Castiel groaned and put the plate down on the table. 

"We are not skipping school, Balt!" Castiel scowled at him, but Balthazar seemed unfazed by this. "When did you even come up with this?" 

"Couldn't sleep last night. And you deserve some fun, come on!" Castiel shook his head and folded his arms. "Fine, we'll go to school." Castiel got his phone out and texted both Meg and Charlie, telling them that they would not be ditching school. He received a picture in response, a selfie with both of them in it, both doing the puppy eyes and pout face that kids make when they want candy. "Can we ditch tomorrow?"

"It's Friday tomorrow, I think you can manage two days of school." Balthazar pouted, but didn't argue. Castiel had to admit that he was a bit tempted to ditch school tomorrow, but he couldn't tell him that. He'd be whispering "I told you so" into his ear at every chance he got. Maybe he could get Dean to ditch school as well, though that seemed like a bad idea. He had a parent after all, now that Bobby had stepped up to the role. It would seem that Castiel didn't have a parent anymore. 

"What's up, bitches!" Charlie was hanging out of the window of Meg's car, while Meg tried to pull her in by the back of her pants. "Stop grabbing my ass!" Castiel smiled fondly and shook his head. He got into the backseat with Balthazar.

"You alright, Clarence?" Meg asked, looking at him in the mirror. He nodded.

"I'm fine." That was a lie. "I'll be fine," he offered instead. "It was a long time coming." 

"Don't worry, I can be your mom now!" Charlie leaned over the seat and ruffled his hair, messing it up more than he had already managed on his own. "You're grounded, son." Castiel laughed and pushed her back to the front. 

"Just get the seat belt on, mom." Castiel played along with all the ridiculous jokes Charlie spewed out the rest of the short way to school, which, surprisingly, was where they ended up. Castiel had been ready to scold her if she tried to kidnap him to go somewhere else, but it seemed everyone listened a bit more carefully to his wishes these days. 

"Wow, those guys look sketchy." Charlie pointed at two men standing by an SUV on the other side of the road. Castiel squinted in their direction, trying to pinpoint where he had seen them before. They seemed familiar, but, like Charlie said, sketchy. The suits they were wearing looked cheap and they both had the same haircut for some reason. They didn't react at the finger pointed in their direction though.

"My pedo-meter is off the charts," Meg mumbled. 

"Yeah," Castiel chimed in. A lot of the people around them had clearly noticed them to, the big groups whispering among themselves and glancing over the road. "They're probably waiting for someone though. This happens every time something is remotely off within a ten mile radius of the school." 

"Uh, yeah, but no one has ever looked like that before." Charlie looked at them with disgust, apparently convinced that they were some sort of creeps. Castiel grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, guiding her to the school's entrance.

"Look, we're safe from the crooks!" he declared when they were inside. 

"Hardy har har," Charlie deadpanned. "Let's go, Baltie." They walked off with a wave and a smile, while Castiel and Meg headed to math class. 

"Seriously, how are you?" Meg asked in a low voice. Castiel shrugged.

"I'm alright, I guess. It's not like I'm living on the streets all alone, Meg. I have you guys." He smiled and pulled her into a sideways hug.

"Alright, Clarence." They were stopped right inside the door by Mr. Crowley, the headmaster. 

"Follow me, Novak." Mr. Crowley gestured for him to join him. Castiel hesitated and Meg was now holding his hand firmly, like she was thinking the same thing he did. Was his mother here?

"Is there a – a problem?" Castiel asked. Mr. Crowley shook his head and smiled, though the smile was forced, it wasn't malicious. Castiel turned to Meg. "I'll be right back." She nodded, but was still hesitant to let go of his hand. While they were walking down the hall, he listened to the muffled voices coming from the classrooms they passed and the sound of Mr. Crowley's expensive shoes hitting the floor in front of him. His mother wouldn't come down to his school. No. Would she? It wouldn't do her any good, whatever she wanted. Still confused, and worried, he was ushered into the nurse's office. 

"Ah, Castiel!" Nurse Donna was standing by her desk, offering him a warm smile and a chair to sit on. He felt a bit better when Mr. Crowley left.

"I don't understand, why am I here?" Castiel asked. Donna sat down on the other side of the desk and looked down on a piece of paper with something scribbled on it.

"Ah, yes, your mother called." Donna read over whatever it was that was written on the paper. "She was not sure if you would show up to school today, after your apparent break-down yesterday." Castiel flinched.

"Break-down?" He frowned. So that was what she was calling it. "I didn't have a break-down. We just had a fight about.." He stopped, but the nurse simply waited for him to continue. "We had a fight," he said. 

"About?" the nurse asked. 

"About – about normal stuff," Castiel stuttered. "I'm seventeen, can't I have fights with my mother without the school getting involved?" The nurse had some emotion written all over her face, but he couldn't quite grasp what it was. She looked sad maybe. Or guilty. 

"Well, yes, but your mother did.. Call us. To tell us about your situation." Castiel got up so fast that the chair flew back and hit the floor hard. "Castiel, calm down."

"It's not a – a situation, we argued and I – I went to a friend." Nurse Donna got up, smiling wide at him.

"In any case, your mother is worried. She does not think that school is the best place for you today, so she sent your psychiatrist to pick you up for a session." Castiel shook his head.

"My.. I don't have a psychiatrist?" The door opened behind him and in walked the two sketchy looking men Charlie had been pointing at. Castiel gasped and turned back to the nurse. "I'm not crazy, nurse!" Her smile was apologetic.

"Of course not," she murmured, like she was speaking to a frightened child. 

"Come with me, Mr. Novak. This is for your own good." The shortest of the two men stepped forward, moving his hand to put it on Castiel's back. He moved away, his knees hitting the desk. 

"It'll be alright, Castiel. Your mother just wants what's best for you." Nurse Donna helped the two men escort him out of the office and waved them off. Both of the men held Castiel's arms, the grip turning more firm when the nurse wasn't in sight anymore. Castiel didn't fight, he was too numb. All the doors to the classrooms were closed, so he couldn't get the attention of anyone that might help. 

"Don't worry," the tallest of the two men said. "We'll straighten you up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, the angst! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what do you guys think will happen???
> 
> Thanks for all the attention!! As always, I love interacting with you guys, so don't hesitate to comment whatever or talk to me on Tumblr! / xmaehughes ♥‿♥


	14. Wait for me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you’re gonna have faith, you can’t just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don’t.

The walk to Mr. Speight's office was silent and, at least from Dean's perspective, awkward. They walked past other students that were making their way to the classrooms and some teachers that were running a bit late. Mr. Speight's office was small and square, with only one window, a desk and two chairs. He didn't seem have any personal pictures on the walls or on his desk, only files and a computer. 

"Sit down," Mr. Speight said, gesturing towards the chair on one side of the desk. He walked around, smiled at Dean and then sat down on the other side. "I know other teachers have tried talking to you before," he started. 

"And I told them everything is fine," Dean said. "Because everything is fine." He linked his fingers together, trying to avoid the urge to run his fingers over the bruise that was fading on his throat.

"Yes, well. You may be a good liar, but the bruises you're sporting kind of ruins the illusion that everything is fine." Mr. Speight leaned forward, putting his elbows on his desk. "So why don't you tell me what's really going on?" Dean hesitated. Could he? It Dean had to pick one teacher he had to tell everything to, he would pick Mr. Speight. But everything was going so well right now, if he told him and he decided to meddle, things might shift again. 

"I.." But why would he meddle? Bobby was taking care of them now, he'd found his soulmate, Sam was good. There really was no reason to change anything right now, but it might be good to have a teacher on his side of his father decided to cause trouble. "Alright, I'll tell you, but just.. Listen."

"Go ahead," Mr. Speight said, leaning back again. And Dean did. He told him about all the fighting before, about his father beating him, the drinking and about how he'd made his soulmate. Then he talked about Bobby and Sam, trying his best to convince Mr. Speight that everything was fine now. He hadn't talked this much in years and it was hard to stop when he had started, so he didn't really pay attention to what he was saying – he just talked.

"Wow," Mr. Speight said when he finally finished his story. "That's.. A lot." Dean nodded. 

"But it's fine now," he pointed out. He didn't have to force a smile, it formed on his face all by itself, which was a nice change of pace really. None of the other teachers had bought his strained smile before anyway.

"It seems that way," Mr. Speight said. "What about your – your boyfriend?" Dean tilted his head.

"Cas, he's.. It'll be fine." Mr. Speight was already opening drawers and looking through papers, throwing the papers he didn't need on the floor. "Uh, Mr. Speight? Are you alright?" He popped his head up.

"Just give me a second," he said with a forced smile. Dean's stomach dropped. Was he going to mess everything up? Was he going to side with Cas's mother? Was he like her? It seemed weird that he would ask about Cas after the story he had just been told. He'd gotten out of his mother's house. "What's her name?" Mr. Speight asked, still looking through papers.

"What? Oh, Cas's mom? I don't know, we didn't get a chance to talk too much last night." If he wasn't worried before, he was now. "Mr. Speight, are you.." He trailed off just when Mr. Speight slammed a file on the desk.

"Novak is such an unusual name," he said, opening the file. "Naomi Novak." 

"Is that her name?" Dean asked.

"I believe so, but she didn't have a son ten years ago." Dean shifted in his seat, not knowing what question to start with. "She had a daughter," he said, pushing a photo over to his side of the desk. "Anna." Dean gently picked the photo up. A girl with bright, red hair and a dead look in her eyes stared back at him. 

"Cas never.. Never mentioned a sister." They didn't look alike at all either. He hadn't seen Cas's mom of course, so he couldn't really compare the three of them, but Cas and Anna? No, nothing alike. He never would've thought they were related if he'd met them on the street.

"He might not.. I don't have all the facts, but I am worried about him." Dean put the photo back on the desk, pushing it towards Mr. Speight. "Anna was my student. Her departure from the school was.. Sudden. What school does Castiel go to?" 

"Uh, Oak High School," Dean answered. "Why are you asking me this? He's safe at school or - or at Balthazar's house. He's not at his mother's house." Mr. Speight got up, offering Dean a quick smile as he gestured for him to get up. They walked down the hall together, Dean trying to keep up with Mr. Speight's pace.

"I might worry for nothing," Mr. Speight said as they exited the school. "But you probably don't mind a surprise visit to your boyfriend's school." Dean blinked, still confused, but he simply followed his teacher over the parking lot and into his car. 

"Uh, don't you have a class right now?" Dean asked. 

"Do you honestly think the students will miss me?" Dean snickered. "Even so, this won't take long. I hope." He side-eyed Dean, then drove out of the parking lot and drove towards Cas's school. Dean had walked past it before, but he'd never been there, even though it was only fifteen minutes away from his father's house.

"I'm still confused," Dean said when the car stopped. "What are we doing here?" They exited the car and walked towards the main entrance. The parking lot was almost full, so even though they had the entrance in full view, they had to walk for a bit.

"I'll explain, don't worry," Mr. Speight said, his gaze locked on the entrance. Dean was more confused than worried really.

"Alright, but -" He snapped his mouth shut when the doors opened, three people exiting the building. Dean froze, because there, held by his arms by two men, was Cas. He looked terrified. "Cas!" He started running towards him, not waiting for Mr. Speight, who was running after him. 

"Dean," Cas said, eyes wide. "What are you doing here?" 

"My – my teacher was – never mind that, what's going on?" Dean looked up at the two men, frowning. Mr. Speight finally caught up. 

"We're here on behalf of his mother," the tall man said. "We're here to help Castiel." Dean wanted to punch the man just for saying his name, but instead he turned to Mr. Speight, hoping that he could help stop them.

"Castiel is suppose to be in class right now, isn't he?" Mr. Speight asked. "He should -"

"His mother is concerned for his health," the other man said. "Being in class is not what is best for Castiel right now." Dean was just about to move forward, fully intending to push the man away from Cas, but a gentle hand on his wrist stopped him.

"Of course," Mr. Speight said. "We apologize for interrupting." Dean whipped his head around, glaring at him. How could he say that? He knew what was going on, he knew this was wrong! They were taking him away to God knows where and if they didn't stop them now, how would they find Cas?

"Dean." Cas's voice was almost a whisper. "Tell Meg." Before Dean could answer, or grab his hand to pull him away from the men, Mr. Speight grabbed his shoulders and moved him out of the way, allowing the men to take Cas away. 

"We have to stop them!" Dean yelled. Mr. Speight simply shushed him, watching intently as the men walked away. 

"Is Meg his friend?" Dean scowled at him, but nodded. "Go to her. I'll follow them." Mr. Speight hurried to the car, without being too obvious, while Dean just watched the two cars drive away, one after the other. He didn't realize he was crying until an old lady stopped on the sidewalk to ask if he was alright. He hurried to the entrance after wiping his tears away, hoping that he didn't look too crazy as he started to open up doors he assumed were classrooms to find Meg. He got yelled at by two teachers and found an empty closet through the third door, before he finally found Meg sitting in the fourth classroom. She jumped out of the chair before he could even say her name, running out of the classroom to join him in the hall, ignoring the teacher that called out for her to get back in her seat.

"Where's Castiel?" she asked. She already looked as worried as Dean was.

"I don't – don't know." Dean swallowed hard, drowning in panic now that his mind had caught up with everything that had happened. "He's in trouble, Meg."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens?? (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿) 
> 
> I just want to give a heads up for tomorrows update! I will be putting out 2-3 chapters tomorrow and then take around a 2-4 day break from updating. There's several reasons for this, and I'll tell them to you tomorrow! ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )   
> Hope all of you are having an amazing week! I adore all of you! ♥‿♥


	15. Not broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No freedom 'til we're equal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THIS.  
> One of the reasons I'm putting out two chapters today, is because this chapter has mentions of one method that is used in conversion therapy, and there is one scene where another method is actually used. This can be a trigger for some, if so, don't read the chapter. If you know this is something you don't want to read in any detail, read the summary I wrote after the chapter instead and then jump straight to the next chapter. Stay safe.

Castiel didn't cry until his back was turned to Dean, and even then he did so quietly. The two men didn't mention it either, they just escorted him by his arms to the car they had been standing by earlier, except that it was now parked on the other side of the parking lot. One man drove, while the other man placed himself in the backseat with him. Presumably to keep him from jumping out of the car. Which, in all honesty, he would've done – had it not been for Dean. So he just sat there.

"I'm Arthur Ketch," the one driving said. Castiel didn't answer or look at him. "We met in church when you were younger." Castiel closed his eyes, images of the church filling his mind. He knew he'd seen the two men before. He'd just desperately tried to block the time when his mother had been able to force him into going to church every day. It was hardly possible for her when he rebelled in his teenage years. "We have a camp outside of town, helping people that’s living in sin."

"I'm not living in sin," Castiel immediately said. 

"You will see in time," the man sitting next to him said.

"Forgive Raphael here," Arthur said. "He's not quite as polite as I am." Castiel snorted and turned to the window. He folded his arms, more to create a protective layer around himself than anything, and focused on the buildings that disappeared outside. It didn't take long for the buildings to become few and far in between, and then only trees appeared.

"Will my mother be there?" Castiel asked. 

"No," Arthur said. "We encourage family members to not visit for at least two weeks. It will take you at least that long to get accustomed to your.. Temporary home." Castiel swallowed hard. The pause in the sentence seemed more like a threat than anything. Like they would never let him leave. Like they had already read him like someone that will never break, not entirely, and therefore couldn't live in society anymore. The camp itself looked like a normal camp really. It had a lot of cabins, a main building and was surrounded by forest. It wasn't until he was guided inside of the main building that he could start to see it for what it really was. You had to swipe cars to get into every room, and it automatically locked itself after it slammed shut again. The rooms were white, sterile and had no images on the walls. Castiel sat through a meeting where they explained why he was here. He tried not to listen, especially after shock therapy was mentioned. They showed him the papers his mother had signed and then guided him to a door on the other side of the hall. He fought them when they told him to go in, but that simply resulted in him being pushed inside, falling on all fours. He scraped his knees, causing him to worry about Dean even more than he already was. 

"Castiel Novak." He whipped his head up at the voice, glaring at the woman sitting on the opposite side of a desk. She looked exactly like he would expect of a therapist on a place like this. Expensive suit on, hair firmly pulled back in a ponytail and her expression unreadable. "Sit." She gestured towards the chair. He did as he was told, seeing as he didn't really have a choice. 

"What are you gonna do?" he asked her. She offered a quick smile, probably trying to seem like she wasn't the bad person in the scenario. As if.

"We're just going to have a little chat," she said. "About your condition." Castiel said nothing. "Your mother says that you have told her that you think you are gay."

"I am gay." Castiel shouldn't say that, but it just slipped out. 

"And that you think that you have found a male soulmate," she continued, as if he had said nothing. She leaned forward on the desk, so Castiel leaned back in the chair. "You're young, Castiel. This is a condition we can easily rid you off." 

"By torturing me?" He tried to seem like he wasn't bothered or afraid, but she could probably see through that. Still, he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of begging or crying. Assuming he would get to stay in one of those cabins later, he could do it then. 

"By using techniques and methods that have been used for centuries," she explained. "It would make things easier if you would cooperate. Talk to me, let me help you." Castiel shook his head. "Well, that is regrettable. You will give in sooner or later. Your mother has signed all the right documents, and you are a minor."

"Not for long," he mumbled. Would it be kidnapping at that point? Would they care about that? He had people that would report this to the police before then, but he might now survive that long. Physically, sure, but mentally? Unlikely. He was strong, but he'd heard of these types of places. They broke people. 

"No matter, we'll fix you up before your birthday. Then you can enjoy your life without going against god. Meet your actual soulmate." Castiel almost argued, but kept his mouth shut. He flinched when she got up, but all she did was walk past him, open the door and call for Arthur. 

"Come with me, Castiel." He did. He let him grab his arm, lead him down a long hall, not resisting at all. He wouldn't be able to get out of the building. Arthur used his card to open a door, led Castiel inside, then walked out of the room. "Stay here for a few hours, think about things. Then we'll try other methods." The door closed. The room was padded, with no exceptions. The wall, the floor, the ceiling.. Even the inside of the door. A mattress and some blankets was in one corner, but Castiel chose to sit in the other corner, making himself as small as possible. 

"I can survive this," he whispered to himself. "They'll get me out of here, Dean will get me out of here." He whispered Dean's name as a mantra, eyes closed, his legs pulled up against his chest so he could put his forehead on his knees and shield himself from everything. It didn't feel like hours had gone by when the door opened again.

"What have you been thinking about?" Arthur asked. Castiel just shrugged. "The one you call soulmate, hmm?" Castiel didn't answer, didn't lift his head. "Let's go." He didn't move, so Arthur lifted him by one arm, gripping it so hard that he knew bruises would form.

"It hurts," he mumbled. To his surprise, Arthur did loosen the grip on his arm. He was led into another padded room, but this had a screens on each wall, just below the ceiling. Castiel immediately tried to back out when he understood what was going to happen, but Ketch simply twisted his arm on his back, keeping him inside the room. Then a blonde girl with no emotions on her face entered, offering him a pill and a plastic cup of water. "What – what is that?" 

"Take them," Arthur said, his tone threatening. Castiel shook his head. "Take them or I will make you take them. Your choice." He hesitated, but ultimately knew that he would just hold his mouth open and force it down his throat if he refused. So, he took the pill, swallowed it with water, and let the girl check his mouth before they both left. 

"Dean, Dean, Dean." He whispered the words, again sitting down in a corner. He couldn't look in any direction without looking at the screens, so he put his head down again. It didn't take long for him to feel sick. He gasped, clutching his stomach with one hand and putting the other in front of his mouth. He wanted to throw up, but at the same time his body wouldn't let him. He tried to focus on Dean's face, but as the nauseating feeling in his stomach got worse, so did his ability to focus properly. He started crying when he saw light come from the screens. He squeezed his eyes shut, but he couldn't keep out the noises. He knew what it was. He knew that if he looked at the screen he would see gay porn playing, and he knew that they were trying to force his mind to associate homosexuality with feeling sick. He knew this was something they did over time. Months, years. He couldn't be sure of how long he was in there, or how long it was until he eventually threw up. It didn't get better though, and the movie on the screens kept on playing. The sounds of men moaning and talking dirty seemed to get louder and louder, but maybe that was just in his mind. After he had puked a third time, the door opened.

"Are you gonna cooperate?" Castiel didn't answer. He didn't refuse either, didn't shake his head, didn't fight when whoever was there grabbed him and carried him into a bathroom. "Clean yourself up." He did. Eventually.

"Dean, Dean." He whispered it to himself every time he was alone. It didn't help anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Castiel is taken to a camp for conversion therapy. They read papers that his mother has signed to allow them to keep him there, then he has a short therapy session with a woman that wants him to cooperate. He mentions that he's turning eighteen next year, she is certain that he will be "fixed" by then. Castiel refuses to cooperate, and is then put in isolation for two hours. After that, a cruel method used in conversion therapy is used on him. The chapter ends with Castiel alone in the bathroom, thinking of Dean.
> 
> There you go! This chapter was hard, because I had to Google conversion therapy for this. Go to the next chapter to see what Dean and Mr. Speight is up to, hmm? (ᵔᴥᵔ)


	16. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is full of challenges and surprises.

Dean decided that waiting for Mr. Speight at Cas's school was the best idea, especially since he didn't have to be alone. Meg hadn't hesitating in running to Charlie and Balthazar's class, practically dragging them outside to explain what had happened. They all sat on the stairs right outside the main entrance, Charlie with an arm over Dean's shoulder, Meg and Balthazar sitting shoulder to shoulder next to them. It took two hours before Mr. Speight came back. Dean immediately jumped up and ran towards his car.

"What happened? Where is he?" Charlie, Balthazar and Meg soon caught up, standing right next to Dean in a line, expecting an answer.

"Do you have any new marks?" he asked instead of explained. Dean's stomach dropped and he pulled his t-shirt off without hesitating, examining himself.

"No, no, no!" He had flowers around his biceps, clear marks of someone gripping Cas's arm too harshly. He pulled the legs of his pants up, discovering flowers on both of his knees. "No." Charlie helped him get dressed again, hugging him tightly. 

"Why didn't you stop them?" Meg demanded. She looked all but ready to fight Mr. Speight.

"I couldn't," he said. "It wouldn't have done any good, I have no right to grab him. The men however, they most likely had his mother's permission. He's a minor." 

"Where the hell is he?" Balthazar asked. "We deserve to know everything you do!"

"I.. I can't be sure, but I believe he's at one of those camps where they try to cure homosexuals." Charlie gasped, Meg growled something about making them pay and Balthazar went silent. Charlie still held Dean as he sunk to the ground, hiding his face as he sobbed. 

"This is – it's my fault!" he managed in between sobs. Charlie shushed him.

"It's not your fault," she said, her tone stern. "This is his mother's fault."

"What are we gonna do now?" Meg asked. 

"I.. Know someone that works as a cop. She'll help us." Mr. Speight pulled out his phone, calling someone. He walked away as he spoke, but Dean could hear him mentioning that Cas was physically hurt and held against his own will. 

"It'll be alright, Dean. We'll get him back today." Charlie stroke his back, murmuring soothing words in his ear. "That guy – uh, who is he again?" 

"One of my teachers, Mr. Speight," Dean managed to say.

"What does he have to do with this?" Meg asked. "I know teachers can help, but this seems personal to him." Dean composed himself, sniffling and wiping tears away. Charlie helped him, using her sleeve to dry his cheeks.

"He said something about knowing Cas's mother and that she had a daughter and.. I – I don't know." Dean looked up at them, one by one, but didn't find any sign that they knew about this. How could no one know about this?"

"Castiel, he.. We didn't meet him until he was ten years old. He was really quiet and he never told us anything about his life before he started school with us." Balthazar explained. Dean shook his head.

"It's all so weird, I don't understand anything," he mumbled. Mr. Speight came back, saying goodbye to whoever he had been talking to.

"She pulled Castiel's record. He had the name Shurley up until he was nine years old. He lived with his father, but his mother, who hadn't been in the picture much before that, sued him for custody. Since she's the mother, she won." Mr. Speight sighed. "It's a fault in the system really. His father took good care of him." 

"What can he do? His dad?" Dean asked, finally feeling up to standing up. Charlie supported him, keeping an arm around him still.

"Kali is coming to get me, then we're going to talk to Chuck Shurley and then a judge." He walked over and put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "He'll be out in a matter of hours." 

"Thank you, Mr. Speight," Dean said. "I don't know how long he would be there if it wasn't for you." Mr. Speight waved a dismissive hand.

"You might as well call me Gabriel at this point," he said. "And I've seen what Naomi Novak can do before. Anna didn't get out before the damage was done." Dean flinched.

"The same thing happened to her?" Gabriel nodded.

"Her father got her out but it took almost a year," Gabriel explained. "You three should go back to school." Meg argued a bit, but Balthazar got her to go with him, telling her that they couldn't do anything else right now anyway. Charlie hugged Dean tight and told him to take care of Cas before she followed the others. "I simply assumed that you would insist on coming along." 

"Well, you're right about that," Dean said with a quick smile. "Are you sure we'll get him out today?" Gabriel nodded.

"There's no direct law surrounding those type of camps, but when his father can show that they are causing him physical injuries, which your marks will help prove, he can get temporary custody." Dean nodded slowly.

"What about after? Can he get full custody then?" Gabriel smiled and put an arm around Dean's shoulders, leading him to his car. 

"Yes, I'm sure he will. All the evidence shows that she allowed this, the court won't be kind on her." Gabriel got a bottle of water out of the car, offering it to Dean. He hadn't realized how thirsty he was, after sitting outside in the sun for hours and crying his eyes out. "There she is now." Gabriel pointed to a car that came driving towards them, stopping right next to them. A woman stepped out, looking at them over the roof of the car. "This is Kali. Kali, this is Dean." 

"You're the soulmate?" Kali asked. Dean nodded. She smiled and said, "Everything will be alright." Dean nodded again, and soon enough they were on their way to talk to Cas's father. Dean could only hope that he was a good man that loved his son. He lived only twenty minutes away from the school, and only around ten minutes from Bobby's house. Dean couldn't help but think that it would be nice to have Cas closer. All three of them walked up to the door, knocking on it and pushing the doorbell. It didn't take long for a short man with curly hair to open the door, only wearing a robe.

"Uh, yes?" the man said, seemingly a bit nervous.

"Chuck Shurley? Castiel's father?" Kali asked. The man - Chuck - nodded. 

"Is he alright? What's happened?" He opened the door wider, his eyes widening. 

"His mother had him sent to a religious camp," Kali said.

"They're hurting him," Dean said. He pulled his sleeves up, showing the flowers to him. "They're – I'm his soulmate, the flowers, they're -"

"I'l get dressed," Chuck said, running inside the house and down the hall. Dean looked at Gabriel.

"I think he's willing to help," he said with a smile. Dean pulled his sleeves down again and nodded. He didn't really want to get his hopes up, but if Kali was on board with this, they have to know what they're talking about? They wouldn't make promises if they knew they had little to no chance. It didn't take long for Chuck to reappear, t-shirt, jeans and shoes on. 

"What's the plan? Where are we going?" Chuck asked, looking at Kali, then Gabriel, then back at Kali again. 

"We're going to see a judge, lay forward evidence and demand that you get temporary custody. Then we'll go get Castiel." Kali gestured for him to get in the car as well, and then they were off to the courthouse. Dean simply went along as they walked with hurried steps down a long hall. After knocking on a door, it was opened by a woman with a wide smile on his face. She greeted all of them and told them to come inside. Kali did most of the talking, since Chuck seemed too nervous to speak all that much and Dean hardly knew what to say. He only stepped forward to show the judge the flowers.

"It's more than enough evidence for a warrant on the place," judge Harvelle said. "I'm calling the station to get more officers to come with you, since you seem to be off duty, Kali. I'm signing a warrant and then you can go get him." Dean had to resist the urge to cry, so he swallowed hard several times before he walked up to the judge again.

"Thank you," he said, his voice breaking a bit at the end. 

"Don't mention it," she said. She patted him on his shoulder, smiled and then went about calling the station and signing papers. She handed them to Kali, instructed them on what they could and could not do when they entered the premises of the camp. Don't open boxes, ask the staff to open all the doors, shit like that. Soon enough, they were on their way. Gabriel drove first, four police cars following him. 

"I can't wait to meet him again," Chuck whispered to Dean, a shy smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the hopeful ending of a chapter needed before I take a 2-4 day break! I hope all of you are doing good, and that you've enjoyed the story so far! I'm loving all the comments, every message on Tumblr and every kudos I get. It's amazing that it's almost at 200 kudos now!! I'm super excited about the upcoming chapters I'm going to write! ♥‿♥
> 
> I want you all to know that you're beautiful and amazing! Whoever you love, however many you've slept with, if you don't want to sleep with anyone, or if you don't identify as any gender, you're just the way you're suppose to be. You are the only one that is you, and that is your power!! (✿´‿`) stay weird!


	17. Reunited

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in hell, there are rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO I'M BACK

Castiel felt like it should've taken more time before he broke down. Then again, he didn't really know how long he'd been here. There were no windows that he could see and no clocks on any of the walls. They'd taken his cellphone and given him a pair of pants that was made of thin fabric and a large sweater that had no motives on it. He didn't feel any better after the shower, especially now that he was talking to the therapist he'd met before. She'd told him to call her Toni, but he didn't plan on talking all that much in general, so he ignored that.

"Why do you think Dean is your soulmate?" she asked.

"Don't say his name." Castiel couldn't take it, hearing Dean's name on their lips. They didn't deserve to use his name, he knew that much.

"Would you please answer the question, Castiel?" She usually did ignore it when he corrected her or told her to stop something. She was more annoying than any of the others. They had, up to this point at least, been more cruel than her. Her attitude was chilling still and her eyes never showed any emotion whatsoever. Not even annoyance. 

"Everyone knows it when they meet their soulmate," he mumbled in response. 

"The human mind is fragile," she said. "Mistakes can be made when one is hoping hard enough to find their soulmate." 

"Bruises and cuts matched up." They could break him, but they could never convince him that Dean wasn't his soulmate. He knew he was. He hadn't even needed to see the flowers matching his bruises, he didn't need to confirm that he had been full of flowers for years because of him, he simply knew by heart. 

"It's a big world," she started. "Soulmates are God's work. He would never put two individuals of the same sex as soulmates." She waited for his reaction, but he was staring at the floor in silence. If God was more than fiction, he wouldn't spread hate like this. He wouldn't approve of this. He would love. But Castiel didn't believe in God. "If you don't talk to me, we'll use other methods, Castiel. You don't want that. We don't -"

"You don't care," he hissed, still staring at the floor. "If you didn't want to, you would simply not do it." She sighed.

"We're simply saving you. The pain of our methods is nothing compared to an eternity in Hell." Castiel scoffed. Hell. The concept was so cruel, so far-fetched that he could to nothing but laugh at it. Why would a God that's suppose to love all create hell? Why would he cast one of his children down there? Why would he give simply to take? No, it wasn't something that scared him, never had. 

"If I want to rot in hell, let me. What does it matter to you?" He looked up at her, squinting his eyes.

"It's our duty to save those we can," she simply said. "It's God's will." 

"I don't care," Castiel hissed. They stared at each other for a solid minute, though it felt like an eternity, and he could almost see her gears turning. She was wondering how to break him, how to convince him, how to save him. 

"You must have struggled with this for years, Castiel." She put both her hands to the table and used them to push herself up from the chair. "I'll make a treatment plan for you and we can go over it tomorrow. You've already tried one method, we'll start with a few hours of that before you go to bed later." Castiel pushed away from the desk, the chair scraping harshly against the floor.

"No." He got up and moved behind the chair. "No, you can't fucking keep me here." The calm demeanor the therapist had been sporting ever since Castiel was sent in her cracked. If it was the swear word or just the fact that he hadn't given up, he couldn't be sure of, but the deep frown on her face caused him to walk backwards until he hit the wall next to the door.

"We do not tolerate that fowl language here," she said. She sounded calm, her voice was steady and soft. Had it not been for the three sharp knocks on the door at that exact moment, Castiel was certain he would've seen a much darker side of the woman than he had up to this point. "What?" she spat out. The door opened slowly, revealing Arthur's stoic face. 

"We have a problem," he simply said. 

"Stay here," she hissed at Castiel. Then she followed Arthur outside and the door closed, the automatic locking system trapping him inside. He waited near the door, trying to hear what was going on outside. He didn't know what to think, but he felt a bit hopeful even so. Could it be Dean? His friends? But then his thoughts went right to, how could it be them? How could four teenagers cause an actual problem for the institution he was being held prisoner in? After a few minutes or so of silence, his mind had gone to, wouldn't he himself have caused hell for anyone that tried to take Dean from him?

"Open the door." A stern voice could be hear right outside the door, and some mumbled apology came from someone else before the door clicked open. Castiel took a step back, waiting for whoever had commanded the door open. A police officer stepped in, the stern look on the young man's face softening when he saw Castiel standing there, hands curled around his stomach. "It's alright," the officer said. "What's your name?" 

"Cas – Castiel. Novak." He felt a sort of bitter taste when he uttered his last name, and made a note of remembering to change it when he could. 

"I'm Alfie," the officer - Alfie said. "Let's get you out of here, hmm?" He didn't need to say more, Castiel followed without hesitation. He did shy away from the comforting touch Alfie offered, but he didn't seem offended at that. Maybe he'd seen places like this before, but Castiel himself didn't know what laws surrounded the issue in this state. He knew it varied from state to state, but that was about it.

"Cas!" His head snapped up, looking straight at Dean. He was coming straight towards him, jogging down the long hall to get to him as fast as he could without pushing people out of the way.

"Dean," he whispered as he walked towards his soulmate, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. It was a sort of shock to see Dean here, because this was the last place he should be. This building, this camp, they had to leave it. They met in the middle, Dean immediately pulling Castiel in for a hug.

"Cas," he murmured into his shoulder. His mind needed a few seconds to process the whole thing, to be sure that Dean was really there, before he hugged him back. "I got you."

"I know," Castiel said, smiling to himself. "I knew you'd come." He pulled back to look at Dean. He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away a few tears on Dean's cheeks, and then leaned in for a kiss. It was suppose to be a quick kiss, it really was, but Castiel just had to make sure that this was real. And if it wasn't real, he might as well enjoy it while it lasted. It took someone clearing their throat behind Dean for them to pull apart. Castiel was met with a very familiar sight when Dean moved out of the way. "Dad?" He had a few grey hairs, maybe a couple of wrinkles he didn't have all those years ago, but he hadn't changed all that much. 

"Hello." He offered a small wave and a smile. Castiel laughed at how awkward his dad was, always had been, and went over to hug him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. 

"Why are you sorry?" Castiel asked, continuing the hug while they spoke. "You're here."

"I should've fought harder for you." Castiel pulled back, looking at him with furrowed brows.

"You did fight, I know – I remember that you did." Dean joined them, standing next to Castiel with a pleased smile on his face. "Well, I guess you've already met Dean." 

"Yeah, me and Chuck, we're best friends now." Dean put his elbow on Chuck's shoulder, leaning against him. Castiel looked at them, almost bursting with happiness at seeing the two of them together, wondering what kind of a person his dad was now. It had been so many years, neither of them were the same anymore. "Hopefully you're not as strict as Bobby," Dean said. 

"I – well, I'm not sure just how strict he is and – and I don't know if Castiel will stay with me, I won't force him but – but I'll try my best to be -"

"He's joking, dad," Castiel said. Chuck let out a nervous chuckle and Dean grinned at him. "And I'd love to stay with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's midnight, my dudes. What time is it where you are right now?? (ᵔᴥᵔ)


	18. Don't let go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

The three of them walked out of the building together. Chuck had his arm on Cas's back while Dean held Cas's left hand with his own, their fingers locked together. They stood outside together, watching people in different mental states exit the building. Dean didn't want any more information right now about what was happening, but a lot of the people that exited the building next to an officer looked young. Young, broken and bruised. It broke his heart. It didn't take long for people to come out in cuffs, all off them with their lips pursed tight together. 

"Stop it." Cas was gently pushing an EMT away that was trying to put a blanket on him, so Dean took the blanket and put it over the both of them. "I'm not in shock," Cas mumbled.

"Humor me," Dean whispered, putting his head against Cas's. Dean looked around, surprised that there were several ambulances there, EMT's checking up on all of the young ones. He hadn't even noticed that they had arrived. 

"Not that I'm complaining, but.. How?" Cas gestured vaguely around them. 

"Had some help from my teacher," Dean explained. "He.. He had a bad feeling about the whole thing." Gabriel strolled up to them right then. Speak of the devil and all that. 

"Are you alright?" Gabriel asked Cas.

"I am now." Cas offered his hand, but otherwise didn't move away from Dean, the blanket still wrapped over their shoulders. "I'm Castiel." They shook hands, smiling.

"Gabriel, the coolest teacher in the world." Dean laughed, but had to agree. He did have the reputation as the cool, laid-back teacher already, but he'd definitively deserved the upgrade to the worlds coolest teacher now, at least in Dean's opinion. "I've dealt with your mother before - with Naomi." Cas tilted his head.

"When?" Cas asked, brows furrowed, clear confusion on his face. Could he really not know? About his sister? There were a significant age difference, sure, but still. 

"Let's talk about that later," Gabriel said, easily dodging the question. "I'll explain, I promise," he added when Cas squinted suspiciously at him. Then he nodded in agreement, and they all turned their attention to Chuck when he cleared his throat.

"I know you said you'd love to stay with me," he started. Then he rubbed his neck and cleared his throat yet again before he continued. "But are you - are you sure? I mean, I haven't been there since you were a kid and - and you can keep living with your friend if you want to! You're seventeen, Jesus, you'll be eighteen next year and you don't really need me -" Chuck ended his ramble by snapping his mouth shut. 

"I don't care about everything that's happened before. If I can, if you want me to, I want to stay with you." Cas finally untangle from him and went over to hug his dad. Dean watched with a grin on his face, finally feeling like everything was going to settle down. He wanted to fool around on the couch, get yelled at by Bobby because they stay up too late on the phone, he wanted to get to know Chuck and have movie nights with Cas and Sam. All of that and more. He'd have to make a list, he decided to himself while he watched Chuck shed a tear into Cas's shoulder. 

"Castiel?" They all turned to look at the officer that came strolling towards them. He was carrying a bag with something heavy in it. "We found these in one of the offices, thought maybe one of them could be yours." Cas looked down in the bag, digging around for a little while before he pulled his cellphone out.

"Thank you!" Cas grinned, clutching the phone to his chest. After that the ambulances started to drive away one by one, taking with them those who potentially needed some extra care. Dean held Cas while he listened to advice being given to other victims, like where they should go if they didn't have a safe home to return to, and what they could expect mentally and emotionally in the weeks that would follow. The parking lot was almost empty when a car came all but drifting into it, braking hard and stopping close to the car Dean and Cas were leaning against. "Oh no." 

"What?" Dean looked at Cas. His eyes were wide and his body tensed, the grip he had around Dean tightening. A woman came towards them, her lips pulled down in a frown and her eyes dark. "Is that.. ?" Cas nodded. Dean looked over at Chuck, but he looked just as scared as Cas. Everyone else had already left or was inside. 

"What the fuck are you doing here?" The woman - Cas's mom - immediately focused her attention on Chuck. He took a few steps back, but stopped when his eyes flickered over in their direction. He seemed to realize that he had to step up now. 

"The – the police brought me," he stammered. 

"Hah! You're practically shaking!" She turned her attention to Dean. "And you! What do you think you're doing? Get away from him, you filthy faggot!" Cas flinched against him. Dean put himself slightly in front of Cas, stopping his mother from getting closer to her son. 

"He's my soulmate," Dean growled. "You're the only one that should get the fuck away from him!" Dean hoped that someone would hear the commotion and come outside soon, but the entrance to the building remained empty. 

"He's not your soulmate!" she yelled, stomping forward to grab Cas's arm. The blanket that had been a sort of protective layer over them fell off and she pulled him harshly away from him. Dean held on tight, one hand on Cas's elbow and the other around his waist.

"Let go!" Dean yelled. Cas seemed to snap out of the trance he'd been frozen in. He tried to pull his arm out of his mother's grip, but she refused to let go.

"Let me go!" Cas seemed to grow more confident, pulling harder. Dean looked briefly over at Chuck, pleading with his eyes for him to do something. "You're hurting me!" Those words coming from Cas's mouth seemed to do it. Chuck went from frozen in fear to furious. He started walking over to them in the exact moment when Cas's mother freed one hand to slap Cas over the face. The world seemed to freeze, time moving slowly as Dean and Chuck gasped in shock. Dean briefly noticed that several people was coming towards them, shouting something about stopping, just before Chuck flew at Cas's mother, punching her in the face. She let go, and stumbled backwards, falling on her ass. Dean and Cas flew backwards, hitting the side of the car, getting the air knocked out of them. No one moved for several seconds, or minutes, before several police officers pulled Cas's mother up and held her in place.

"He punched me!" Cas's mother said to them, pointing at Chuck. The officer that had escorted Cas out came strolling up to them, looking at Cas's mother with an apologetic smile. 

"I think you're confused," he said in a soft tone. "I distinctively remember seeing you slap your son and then you fell, hitting your face." Her mouth fell open. "Take her away," he said, waving them off. The two officers holding her did exactly that, ignoring her angry shouting about what filthy liars they all were. 

"Damn," Dean said, turning to Chuck. "You're awesome." Chuck stared back with wide eyes, the family resemblance being uncanny right at that moment. Cas had the exact same look on his face.

"Well, if she had a chance at getting custody before, she's certainly lost it now." The officer was shaking his head. "Are you alright?" Cas nodded.

"Yes, I'm.. Alright." He smiled at the officer. "Thank you, Alfie." The officer - Alfie, apparently - tipped his hat and wandered off. Gabriel came running out of the building then, another officer pointing him in their direction as if he wasn't already halfway there.

"I go to the bathroom for five minutes and all hell breaks loose!" Gabriel panted. 

"Yeah, you missed some shit," Dean said. Cas had turned around, both hands around his waist as he hid his face in the nook of his neck. "What time is it?" 

"Almost three," Gabriel answered after checking his phone. 

"Shit, I'm suppose to pick up Sam in like half an hour!" Cas was laughing against him, his body vibrating slightly. 

"We should probably get out of here," he said, his voice muffled. Dean kissed his head, holding him a little tighter.

"Yeah," he said. "In a bit." They stood like that for a little while longer and then they sat close in the backseat of the car on the way back to town. And if they arrived over half an hour late to pick up Sam, well, he didn't complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never before had so much fun writing something as I did writing bad-ass dad!Chuck!! If you don't love him in this AU, you're wrong ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ


	19. Just so you know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.

Castiel was glad that Sam didn't demand an explanation for them being late. They simply decided - without actually discussing it - that they would ignore all of that for now, so the three of them went to the closest shopping mall to buy Dean a cellphone and get some food. While Sam and Dean tried to agree on what cellphone Dean should buy, Castiel called Meg to briefly explain some of what had happened. She was at Balthazar's house with Charlie, so he promised to come over to get his stuff later. 

"Do you think Bobby will let you sleep over at my dad's place tonight?" Castiel asked when they were done eating. 

"Wait, you live with your dad now? When did that happen?" Sam shot in before Dean could answer.

"Uh.. It's a long story." They shared a knowing smile with each other while Sam groaned in the background, mumbling a small 'whatever' in response. "Anyway," Dean continued. "I'll ask him. He might let me, if he gets to meet your dad." Castiel nodded. "I can drive you over to Balthazar's house to get your stuff after I've gotten Sam home." 

"Thank you. It's really cool that Bobby bought the car." Dean hummed in response. 

"Let's go," Sam said, moving to get out of the chair. Castiel and Dean followed, holding hands as always. Even though Castiel had gotten out and knew it was over, he still felt better when he got to hold Dean's hand. It felt like a life line, like something that kept him grounded and safe.

"Do you want me to drop you off at Balthazar's house before I drive Sam home?" Castiel nodded.

"Then you can ask Bobby and I can explain everything to Balthazar and the others." They got in the car and all too soon they were at Balthazar's house. Castiel kissed Dean and reluctantly let go when Sam called them gross and urged them to hurry up. 

"Yeah, yeah. Impatient little brat." Dean leaned out of the open window when Castiel had walked around the car, taking the chance to share one more kiss before Sam got in the front seat and they drove off. Castiel stared after the car until he couldn't see it anymore, then he walked up to the front door. It opened before he had a chance to even touch it, his three friends flooding out of the door to pull him into a very tight group hug.

"Were you watching the whole time?" Castiel asked, hugging them back.

"His car is terribly noisy," Balthazar said. 

"And we were worried," Charlie chimed in.

"And curious," Meg said. They all walked inside, got comfortable in the living room, all eyes on Castiel as he started to tell them everything. Well, nearly everything. He didn't feel like sharing any details of what they had done to him other than the therapist part and the rescue. What he talked most about was his father though. He hadn't told them anything about him before.

"I lived with him up until I was ten, then my mother suddenly decided that she wanted custody. I suspect that she got custody because the judge went to the same church as her. So I was just ripped away from my father over night and she stopped me from talking to him after a few months." Charlie put her head on his shoulder, but didn't say anything. The others sat in silence too, waiting for him to continue. "That's when I met you guys, when she pulled me out of my old school because she thought it wasn't good enough. I never told anyone about it." 

"And your father? Is he nice?" Meg asked. Castiel nodded.

"He's nice," he confirmed. "He tried to get custody, or at least visitation rights, I remember it very clearly. But he lost and my mother pushed him away."

"And you're moving in with him now?" Charlie asked. 

"Yeah," Castiel said, a smile on his lips. "Sorry, Balt. I know you were looking forward to a constant sleepover." Balthazar holds his hand over his heart, letting out a deep sigh. 

"I don't know how I'll survive," he said, wiping away an imaginary tear. "In any case, I'll probably move out of here when I'm eighteen. Get a roommate." Meg's hand shot up in the air.

"Me!" she announced. Balthazar chuckled, then shrugged in response. "Nice. Anyway, are you leaving right now?"

"Dean's picking me up when he's dropped off Sam at home," he said. "And possibly after having convinced Bobby to let him stay the night at my dad's house." 

"Ooh!" Charlie poked his stomach, grinning from ear to ear while wiggling her eyebrows.

"We've slept together before!" Castiel said, his cheeks heating up. "Not like that!" he added when Charlie just snorted. 

"You're so pure and precious," Meg said. "My unicorn." She jumped on him, hugging him from the side as he crumbled against Charlie under her weight. It didn't take long for Balthazar to join in, the four of them laughing in hysterics in a bundle on the couch. 

"Get - get off! You guys are ridiculous!" Castiel pushed them off, still laughing. "I gotta go get my stuff." Meg dramatically fell down on the couch, landing on Charlie's lap. "Let's hang out this weekend or something."

"You have to bring Dean!" Charlie said. "We haven't gotten the chance to interrogate him about his intentions towards you yet." 

"His in- Charlie, he's my soulmate. I'm pretty sure he's serious about this." Castiel shifted his stance, his eyes widening. "But what if he isn't? Oh my god, what if he's just -"

"No, no, no," Balthazar put a finger to his lips, stopping him from spilling out his concerns and fears. "Don't do that. He looks at you like you're everything. Seriously, it's sickening." 

"Yeah, I ship you guys so hard," Charlie deadpanned. 

"You what? What does that mean?" Castiel asked, confused. Charlie lifted her eyebrows, sharing a look with Meg. Balthazar threw his hands up and sat down in the chair. "What?"

"I would've asked if you've been living under a rock, but I've known you for seven years, so.." Meg trailed off.

"I'm pretty sure this is our fault," Charlie said. "We've failed him." Castiel snorted, deciding that sometimes ignorance really was bliss. He went up to gather the little possessions he had. He sat on the floor, looking at the only book he'd thought to pull out of the bookshelf when he'd gotten out of his mother's house. The simply design on the cover of "Good omens" staring back at him as he sighed. He couldn't go back, and even if he did, his mother wouldn't let him get his stuff anyway. He was so deep in his own head that he didn't notice that someone stood in the doorway before they knocked on the door frame. Castiel looked up briefly, letting out a sigh of relief that Dean was there. Had he really been sitting up there that long?

"Are you okay?" Dean entered the room, walking over to join Castiel on the floor, their shoulders touching. Dean put his hand on Castiel's knee, moving his thumb in circles to comfort him. 

"Yeah," Castiel mumbled. "I just.. This was the only book I got with me when I left my mother's house." Dean pulled him close, kissing him on the side of his head.

"I'll buy you all the books you want," Dean said. Castiel smiled and shook his head, looking down at the book in his hands again. He imagined the two of them reading together, leaning against each other as they shared stories and kisses. 

"What, with all your riches?" Castiel turned to look at him.

"I'll get rich just to buy you books," he said, a very serious look on his face. Castiel blinked a few times, tilting his head. "What?" He kept his eyes on him, opening and closing his mouth several times before he finally got a hold of the words that had been in the back of his mind ever since they had kissed the first time. Or maybe since the late phone call after he'd left Dean at Bobby's house. Or maybe even since they met, he wasn't sure. Not that it really mattered.

"I love you," he blurted out. The book fell to the floor as he moved both his hands to put them over his mouth, because why did he say that? The seconds felt like hours as he thought about how soon it was, about how it was too soon. It was, wasn't it? Or maybe, judging by Dean's grin, it wasn't.

"I love you too," Dean said. "Just so you know." Castiel felt his stomach do a flip, a smile spreading on his face as he lowered his hands. Dean loved him. They loved each other. 

"Say it again," he whispered.

"I love you," Dean murmured before he pulled him in for a kiss. Then, "I love you." Another kiss. "I love you." The next kiss didn't end for quite some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My day started when my dumb cat killed and pulled a bird (also, really, they're called Magpie in English, what the hell??) inside the apartment, dragged it around the floor to get the blood everywhere and then continued to play with it even after I got up and yelled "what the hell are you doing?!" ಠ~ಠ 
> 
> So anyways how are all of you today?? ｡◕‿◕｡


	20. Falling for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Communication is at the very core of our society. That’s what makes us human.

Dean had barely gotten Sam out of the car before he decided to just race back, yelling out to Sam that he would call Bobby later before he drove off. And yes, he might've broken a few speed limits on the way, but he was glad he'd done it when he walked in to find Cas sitting on the floor with a sad look on his face. After a little comfort and a lot of kissing, Dean somehow found that he'd ended up on top of Cas, straddling his hips while they made out. Cas had his arms around him, firmly locking him in place, so he didn't seem to mind. Cas shifted his position a little under him, which was innocent enough since he'd been laying on the hard floor for some time, but it prompted Dean to buck his hips forward to chase the friction. Cas let out a moan against his lips.

"Dean." They both stilled, looking at each other with swollen lips and flushed cheeks. "I've never.." He trailed off. 

"What?" Dean asked, waiting patiently for him to continue. 

"I've never.. You know." Cas paused, seemingly uncertain of how to continue, but decided to just continue the kissing instead. Dean went with it for a little while, but then he pulled back to continue the conversation.

"You've never.. Kissed anyone?" he suggested. 

"No, I've kissed before. Not a lot, but.." Dean moved back and helped Cas sit up, though he was still in his lap. "That's it." 

"Oh," Dean said. "You're a virgin." Cas hid his face in his hands, groaning. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about!" Dean laughed and pried his hands away from his face. 

"I know! I know, it's just dumb. A dumb word." Cas pouted, looking impossibly cute. "Also, the door is open and anyone can walk by to hear what we're talking about." Dean jumped up, jogged over to close the door and then sat down in Cas's lap again, smiling triumphantly.

"There, problem solved!" Cas playfully pushed his face to the side while laughing. 

"You're ridiculous," he mumbled.

"I know, but we haven't had a lot of chances to just talk." He grabbed Cas's left hand, intertwining their fingers together, and put his other hand on Cas's cheek. "If you want." He leaned into the touch and nodded slightly.

"And you wanna talk about.. That." Cas looked down at their hands. "Sex." Dean put his hand under his chin, gently urging him to lift his head again.

"We can talk about that if you want to – if you're comfortable with it. We don't have to." Dean hesitated, waited for Cas to tell him that he wanted to talk about something else, but he didn't say anything. Dean hadn't really planned this far ahead in the conversation. "I'm.. Not." 

"You're not?" Cas asked. 

"You know, a virgin," he mumbled. People rarely lived in celibacy until they met their soulmate, but Dean still felt a bit guilty now that he knew Cas was a virgin. "It was just a one time thing when I was fifteen, I was curious and he was cute, but I shouldn't have done it and -"

"Dean." Cas's voice was soft, but Dean immediately snapped his mouth shut. "I don't care about that. You were free to be with whoever you wanted to be with. Well, I guess you're technically still free to be with whoever you want to be with." 

"I guess I am," Dean said. "Good thing the lap I'm sitting in is owned by the guy I wanna be with." He wasn't at all prepared for Cas pushing him off of his lap, laughing while he carefully maneuvered Dean under him. 

"Are you gonna be this sweet all the time?" Cas asked, looking down at him with a wide smile. 

"Only when we're alone, I have a reputation to uphold." Dean grabbed the front of Cas's shirt and pulled him down, figuring that they'd done enough talking for a little while. 

"I thought -" Cas started, but Dean silenced him with another kiss. "We were gonna talk," he continued when they pulled apart again. 

"You're very distracting." Cas snorted and got up, offering Dean a hand. "Alright, let's try this." Dean ushered Cas to the bed, patted a spot on one side of it for him to sit on, and then went to the other side to sit. "No touching, just talking." 

"You really are ridiculous," Cas said. "But alright. I'll ask one question, then you ask, and so on." Dean nodded. "What's your favorite food?" 

"Pie," Dean answered without hesitation. "Same question." Cas rolled his eyes.

"Burgers. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?" Dean hummed and scratched his chin, thinking a bit. Where would he go? A week ago he would've said 'anywhere but here' but things had changed a bit. 

"I would go to the beach with you and Sam," he finally said. Cas grinned. "Do you wanna go on a date with me tomorrow?" Cas blinked a few times.

"That's not a get to know someone type question." Cas tilted his head, squinting his eyes a bit. 

"Is that a no?" Dean shuffled a little closer to him, elbows on his knees and hands under his chin as he leaned in.

"No, it's not. I would love to." Dean leaned in a bit more, batting his eyelashes. "We're suppose to talk!" Cas said, being the stronger of the two, shuffling a bit more away from Dean. He was laughing though and he didn't move away when Dean jumped even closer. 

"But we're going on a date tomorrow! People talk on dates!" Dean crawled on top of him, both of them laughing as Cas was pushed down on his back. "We'll talk so much that – whoa!" They both slid off of the bed, landing awkwardly on the other side of it, Dean still on top of Cas. 

"Ow!" Dean jumped to the side and helped Cas sit up just as the door flew open. They peaked their head up over the bed, looking at the trio with wide eyes standing at the door, looking like they had been expecting to fight someone. "Uh.. We fell off the bed," Cas offered. 

"You fell.." Balthazar started.

"Off the bed," Meg continued, her arms folded and a smirk on her face. Charlie was too busy laughing to comment on anything. Cas immediately shot up.

"We're fully clothed!" he announced, gesturing to himself. Dean would've gotten up to back him up, but he was too busy falling on his back, clutching his stomach while he joined Charlie in laughing. "Dean!" Cas was blushing furiously and all Dean could think about was how much he wanted to make him blush like that every day. 

"We're very disappointed in you both," Balthazar said, imitating a scolding parent. Meg put her arm around his waist, lifting her chin to imitate a disappointed mother.

"Yes, very disappointed. Next time we expect less clothes." If Charlie wasn't leaning against the wall at that point, she probably would've fallen over because she was laughing too hard. "Also, use protection!" Cas grabbed a pillow and threw it at them, but missed. He would've gotten them with the second pillow, but they had already escaped the room and closed the door seconds before the pillow hit it.

"My friends are the worst," Cas mumbled. Dean was still on the floor, legs stretched out as he looked up at him with a fond smile on his face. Cas joined him on the floor. "What about, uh, your friends?" Dean's face fell. Friends? He didn't really have any friends, not now.

"Uh, I had a – a best friend, but he moved away. Benny was a great guy." He shrugged. "I was known as the troublemaker, didn't.. Didn't get me a lot of friends, you know?" 

"I thought girls liked bad boys," Cas said, attempting to lighten the mood. Dean huffed a laugh, but avoided looking at Cas. "Well, you have a lot of friends now. Balthazar and the others want to hang out with us this weekend." Dean looked up.

"Yeah, with you." Cas shook his head. "They want me to come too?" 

"Yeah," Cas said, pulling him close to kiss his forehead. "They want to get to know you. Trust me, you're part of this group now, for better or for worse." Dean hid his face in Cas's shoulder and laughed, followed by a small sniffle. God, he’d cried so much the last few days, it was ridiculous. "And you have Sam." 

"We have Sam," Dean mumbled into Cas's shirt. "You're in my small family for better or worse."

"And I'm pretty sure my dad already loves you." Dean nodded in agreement.

"I think I got a lot of points for the whole 'saving you' thing." Dean pulled back, rubbing his eyes a bit. "Cas, what.. What happened at the camp?" Cas flinched, then looked away. "Sorry, you don't have to tell me." 

"I kinda want to, to get it out or something." Cas grabbed both of his hands, so Dean squeezed him to reassure him that he could tell him anything. "I just.. It was horrible and I don't want to burden you with that.."

"Cas." Dean cupped his face with both his hands, lifting his head so their eyes met. "I want to share everything with you. Happy moments, horrible moments, I want all of it. As long as we're together about it, you know?" Cas nodded and then, slowly but steadily, started to tell him about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I STARTED WRITING THIS SIX HOURS AGO AND I FINISHED IT TEN MINUTES AGO WHAT'S UUUUUP also I'm sorry for any mistake and/or horrible witing


	21. Stay close to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s nothing more intimate in life than simply being understood. And understanding someone else.

It wasn't until halfway in the story that Castiel actually felt confident enough to not stare at the floor while he spoke. Dean didn't say anything the whole time, he just squeezed Castiel's knee and rubbed his thumb over his hand constantly to comfort him. He told him about the ride over there, about the few things he remembered about the meeting where they showed him a lot of papers, about the therapist, about.. Everything after that. At the end they were both crying and hugging. It lasted for a while before they finally calmed down. 

"I'll never let her get close to you again," Dean whispered. He pulled Castiel close, maneuvering him on his lap so he could hug him even closer. Then they wiped each others tears away. "Promise." Castiel let out a sigh of relief, because he really needed to hear that, and placed their foreheads together.

"I know," he whispered back. "We should do something less depressing now." 

"We can go see Bobby and then go to your dad's?" Dean suggested. "Then we can watch a movie or something?" 

"Great idea," Castiel agreed. "I think we've been spending a weird amount of time on the floor today." 

"I don't know, I'm kinda enjoying it." Dean grinned and pulled Castiel closer. 

"You're impossible," Castiel whispered against his lips. Then he tilted his head, gave him a kiss on his lips and then jumped up from the floor. "Let's go." Dean groaned, but accepted the outstretched hand to get off of the floor as well. Castiel quickly gathered his stuff.

"Let's," Dean said, ushering Castiel out of the room. Balthazar, Meg and Charlie all sat in the living room, talking and watching a movie. They all turned when they entered the room.

"You're leaving?" Charlie asked, pouting. 

"Yeah, we're gonna go talk to Bobby and then my dad." Castiel walked over and hugged all three of them. "We'll come back tomorrow."

"You too, Dean?" Meg asked. Dean looked briefly over at Castiel, and then imitated his nod. "Good," Meg said before she turned back to the movie. Castiel grinned at Dean. 

"Alright, see you tomorrow," Balthazar said. They waved goodbye and went out to the car. They held hands most of the way out to Bobby's house, let Castiel's stuff stay behind in the car and walked in to talk to him about everything. They found him in the kitchen, nursing a beer.

"Nice of you to stop by," he grumbled. "Where have you been?" 

"Uh, we – I.. It's.." Dean trailed off, then looked over at Castiel for help.

"My mother, she.." Castiel swallowed. Was there even a way to easily explain this? She had someone kidnap me? She had me institutionalized? Maybe that was the best one. "She had someone grab me at school." Or like that, that works.

"She what?" Bobby said, standing up. Castiel could feel Dean freeze next to him and he took a step back. "Don't be afraid, Dean," Bobby said in a softer tone. "I'm not angry with you." Dean nodded.

"I told her I'm gay and she's very religious. I thought she'd leave me alone when I left, but she forced me into conversion therapy instead. Dean got me out." 

"Well, my teacher helped," Dean mumbled. 

"Your teacher? How did he get involved? How did you get involved?" Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose and sat down in the chair again. "I'm getting a headache." 

"Uh, my teacher, Gabriel, he wanted to talk about the bruises and I told him everything and he knew Cas's mother from when her daughter went to his school and -" Castiel stopped Dean from continuing.

"Daughter?" he asked. 

"Yeah, your.. Anna." A sister? He didn't have a sister. Did he? "You didn’t know?" Castiel shook his head slowly, though something int he back of his mind was gnawing at him. He couldn't quite grasp it, but it felt like a memory. Or a dream. "Oh." 

"Maybe we should have a meeting with your teacher tomorrow," Bobby suggested. "All of us." Castiel nodded. "Do you need a place to stay?" He shook his head.

"My dad, he.. Dean's teacher found him. I'm staying with him." Castiel smiled. 

"He nice?" Bobby asked, squinting suspiciously.

"Yeah," Castiel answered honestly. "My mother.. Naomi, she basically tore him from me." She had never been a mother to him, she had never cared for him and loved him. She was Naomi from now on. A bad memory. Someone he would hopefully not have to talk to again. 

"That's good," Bobby said. "So what are you gonna ask for?" Castiel and Dean shared a look.

"How'd you know we were gonna ask for something?" Dean asked. Bobby folded his arms, a playful smile on his face. Dean huffed. "Alright, alright. We were wondering if I could stay at Cas's place tonight?"

"Sure," Bobby answered after eyeing the two of them for a few seconds. "No fooling around, no alcohol." Castiel nodded, smiling as he took Dean's hand. "I'm trusting the both of you."

"Promise! We're just gonna watch a movie and get to know Chuck better. That's Cas's dad." Dean was all but vibrating with excitement. Castiel smiled fondly at him. "Thank you! I'm packing some stuff!" Dean left Castiel with Bobby, running through the living room and up the stairs. 

"Here," Bobby said, writing something down on a paper. "Have your father call me." He handed Castiel a note with his name and number on it. Castiel nodded.

"Thank you for letting Dean stay with me," he said, voice a little lower. "I really don't want to be alone tonight," he admitted. Bobby lifted his beer and smiled. Dean came running down with Sam on his heels.

"Dean gets to stay at Cas's house?" Sam asked. Bobby confirmed with a nod. "Can I stay at Jess's house then?" Bobby snorted.

"You're twelve, boy." Sam blinked and waited, oblivious to Bobby's tone. "That means no." Sam pouted.

"Fine," he mumbled. Then he turned to Castiel. "Hey, Cas. Are you two gonna explain what happened earlier now?" 

"No time! Let's hang on Sunday." Dean gave Sam a quick hug and then pulled Castiel towards the hall.

"Bring Cas!" Sam shouted after them. They hurried to the car, Dean put his small bag in the backseat and then they drove while discussing what movie they could watch. His dad had pointed out where his house was on the way back to the city earlier, which was an old, brown house about a ten minute drive outside of town. He'd excitedly told them about the bedroom Castiel would be getting, about the big TV in the living room and about the garden at the back of the house. They pulled up in the driveway and grabbed their stuff, stopping right outside of the door.

"Do we ring the doorbell?" Dean asked. Castiel shrugged, but decided to do it just in case. It didn't feel like his home yet, especially since he hadn't even been there. His father had moved closer to the city after Naomi got custody, so he could be closer, so his dad didn't own the house he had spent the best of his childhood in anymore. The door swung slightly open and then all the way when his dad saw them. 

"Hey! You don't need to use the doorbell!" He hugged them both and ushered them inside. "Looks like you're ready to stay, hmm?" Dean blushed.

"If you don't mind? Bobby said I could spend the night." Chuck grabbed their bags.

"Not at all! I'll take your stuff up to your room." He smiled wide and jogged along. They took their shoes off and walked a little further inside. 

"He's sweet," Dean whispered. Castiel nodded. Soon after his dad was back, ushering them from room to room, showing them the living room, the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom. 

"Should we order food?" his dad asked. 

"Pizza?" Dean suggested, looking at both of them. 

"Pizza," Castiel agreed. His dad jogged off to find a menu he had somewhere, while mumbling something to himself about what pizza he wanted. Castiel and Dean snuggled up on the couch together. Dean put his head on Castiel's shoulder.

"What's your favorite movie?" Dean asked. Castiel shrugged.

"I haven't seen that many movies," he admitted. "I don't think I have a favorite movie." Dean looked at him with wide eyes. 

"That's not acceptable," Dean said, pointing a stern finger at Castiel's chest. "I'm gonna show you so many awesome movies and we're gonna cuddle through all of them." Castiel laughed but nodded in agreement still. If Dean was there, snuggled up to him, he would watch whatever Dean wanted him to watch. Dean started to list some movies, counting on his fingers and ranking them by how important it was that Castiel saw them. Then he attempted to figure out how many hours and days they would have to use to watch all of the movies he mentioned. Castiel listened patiently, smiling fondly at his soulmate. Yeah, he thought. He could get used to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters will be put out further apart now, but I'm not gonna set a schedule for them. My writing spree has passed, rip ಥ_ಥ


	22. In the line of fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a rebel lying deep in my soul.

"The most important thing is that you watch every Clint Eastwood movie ever made." Dean turned to look at Cas. "I'm gonna have to make a list." Cas shook his head and laughed. “Sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Cas asked. He shrugged. What was he apologizing for? Had he really gotten so used to apologizing for everything that he couldn’t stop? That must drive people crazy over long periods of time. Say, like a long period of time a soulmate would spend with someone? “Dean. I can practically hear you thinking.”

“Sorry.” He winched and almost let another apology fall from his lips. He didn’t though.

“I don’t want you to apologize for anything,” Cas said. “Unless you’ve actually done something wrong.” Cas placed his palm gently on his cheek, urging him to turn towards him. Dean did, finding a soft expression on Cas’s face. “But I won’t be annoyed or mad if you can’t stop yourself.” Dean let out a small sigh of relief. “I just want you to be comfortable.” 

“I trust you,” Dean mumbled. “It’s just hard to relax. Is it always gonna be like this?” 

“No.” Cas placed his forehead against his. “I’m positive that it won’t. We’ll be better.” Dean grinned. 

“You always know just what to say, you sap.” He moved closer, ghosting their lips against each other before he kissed Cas. It went from slow kisses to hungry ones quickly, but they were, as usual, interrupted. 

“Am I suppose to make rules? Or give you the sex talk?” Cas groaned.

“I’m seventeen, dad! I know how sex works.” Dean laughed at how he pouted like a petulant child, a blush quickly spreading on his cheeks. 

“Yeah, but like..” His dad paused and walked over to them, sitting down next to Cas. “I mean, the ‘use protection’ part. And how porn isn’t realistic and that it’s nothing wrong with sex, but that you shouldn’t do it until you’re married or – or.. Stuff like that.” Cas was hiding his face behind his hands and Dean was biting hard on his lower lip to keep from laughing. “I’m gonna buy a book on how to parent a teenager,” Cas’s dad mumbled before he left the room again.

“Don’t worry,” Dean said, leaning in close to Cas’s ear. “Of course we’ll use protection. Do you think a foam sword will do?” He tried to hide it, but Dean could see Cas’s body vibrate a little from him laughing behind his hands. “No? I’ll buy two, one for each of us.” Cas finally revealed his face, laughing while he pushed Dean away.

“Stop it! That was super embarrassing!” Cas gently let himself fall over, placing his head in Dean’s lap so he was looking up at him. “Actually, no one has ever had the sex talk with me.”

“Well,” Dean started. “When two people love each other very much – oompf!” Cas effectively shut him up with a pillow pushed against his face.

“Do you want to sleep on the couch?” Cas threatened when Dean pushed the pillow away. He pouted.

“You wouldn’t,” Dean said, squinting down at him. Cas was grinning though, so the threat wasn’t that convincing. “You’d miss me too much.” 

“I would,” Cas admitted. Dean bent down and kissed him once, then twice, before he leaned back when Chuck entered the room again. He cleared his throat.

“Let’s start over!” he announced. Cas sat up and nodded furiously. “Alright, I ordered a few pizza’s, we can choose a movie while we wait.” He sat down next to them when Cas moved out of the way, then started to turn the TV on and get Netflix up on the screen. They had just started to discuss what movie to see when Cas’s phone rang in his pocket. 

“Hello?” Dean watched as Cas’s eyes went wide. “Sam, calm down, it’s – yeah, he’s right here.” Cas held the phone towards him, offering no explanation. 

“Sammy?” A banging noise came from the other side of the line and a familiar voice was yelling something that Dean couldn’t quite hear. 

“Dad’s trying to get in and I can’t – Bobby isn’t answering his phone! I don’t know what do to!” Sam was almost yelling to drown out their father’s yells. “I can’t call the police, they’ll take me, won’t they? I don’t want them to!” Dean’s breath hitched. 

“I’m..” He could be right. They could be separated, they could be moved to different homes. They had no way of being sure that the officers that answered Sam’s call would understand and listen to them. “It’s..” Dean looked over at Cas.

“We’re going,” was all Cas said. He grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the car. Chuck followed, but didn’t ask any questions. An adult would be good, yeah, but their dad – no, John was strong and obviously strong. “I’ll drive,” Cas said, holding his hands out for the car keys when they got outside. Dean shook his head and made his way over to get into the driver seat. Cas didn’t argue and Chuck hopped into the backseat.

“We’re coming, Sammy,” Dean said into the phone before he gave it to Cas.

“What exactly is going on?” Cas turned to look at his father, explaining the whole situation, or at least some of it, so he knew what he was walking into. “What about your teacher? He helped before.”

“I don’t have his number and there’s no time,” Dean mumbled. “What’s going on with Sam?” 

“He’s hiding in the upstairs bathroom,” Cas said. “Your father -”

“John,” Dean said, flexing his jaw. “His name is John.”

“John..” Cas repeated. “He’s still outside, banging on the door. I don’t think he’ll be able to get inside, the door’s pretty solid, right?” Dean nodded. Cas kept talking to Sam in a calm voice, asking him to breathe with him and shit like that. It was amazing that John kept on banging on the door the whole time they were driving there. It took them around half an hour until Dean turned to drive up the dirt road that led up to Bobby’s house. The first thing they saw was John, still banging on the door. He didn’t notice them before they got out of the car and slammed the door shut. 

“Why the fuck do you have the Impala?” was the first thing John asked. He walked down the stairs, barely able to stand up straight. He turned his attention to Cas. “Are you the one fucking him, huh? My faggot son!” Dean could see Cas flinch and take a step back, but Chuck was immediately in front of Cas, shielding him in case John were to do anything. 

“Dad, you’re drunk. Did you.. ?” Dean looked around, finding a car halfway down the ditch on the other side of the lot. “You drove here?” Dean growled. “You could’ve killed someone!” John walked towards him, almost falling over again. 

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that!” he yelled. Dean flinched and almost took a step back. Almost. One look over towards Cas did it. He charged forward before John could raise his fist and hit him as hard as he could in the face, making him fall backwards and hit the ground. He didn’t get up. He froze, staring down at John. Chuck checked his pulse while Cas pulled Dean away. 

“He’s fine,” Chuck said. “He’ll have a bit of a headache when he wake up, but that’s it.” Soon after the door clicked and swung slowly open, a terrified Sam poking his head out.

“It’s fine, Sammy. Come out.” Dean held his arms open for Sam to run into, hugging him tightly. “Come on.” He guided Sam to the car and put him in the backseat. “Is it okay if he comes with?” Chuck nodded.

“Of course.” Chuck got into the backseat with Sam, introducing himself. Cas hugged and kissed Dean for a few minutes before they got into the car too and drove away. No one mentioned that they left John on the ground or the fact that they forgot to even close the door to Bobby’s house. 

“We can call the police now, tell them that he tried to break into Bobby’s house,” Cas suggested. Dean nodded in agreement and Cas immediately called 911 to tell them where they could find John. Sam gave him the address and the police agreed to go get him. John was very familiar with them, so they didn’t ask too many questions. Cas told them his name, but didn’t mention Dean or Sam. 

“The pizza delivery guy is probably pissed by now,” Dean said, looking back at Chuck in the mirror. “We should probably apologize.” The sound of Cas’s laughter made Dean relax a bit. 

“We need more food now anyway,” Chuck said, smiling towards Sam. “What kind of pizza do you like, Sam?” 

“Anything, as long as it doesn’t have as much meat on it as Dean likes.” Sam still seemed a little shocked, but he was handling it all better than Dean did the first time he saw his father like that. Sam was never suppose to see him like that. Dean would do anything to make sure he’d never see him like that again though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone order some fluff, a few laughs, some angst and Clint Eastwood references?


	23. Good news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date someone that is a home and an adventure all at once.

The pizza place his dad had ordered from was very understanding about them having to leave for an emergency, but maybe that had something to do with the big tip they received for the trouble. Bobby finally called Sam back while they were carrying the pizza's into the house, clearly worried. Dean spoke with him, then Sam went to the kitchen with Castiel's dad so they could both talk to him on speaker. Dean had finally gotten the phone he had bought out of the car and decided to make the time go faster by setting it up while they snuggled close on the couch, both eating pizza slowly.

"I need a picture of you," Dean said. 

"Why?" Castiel asked after he swallowed the very thoroughly chewed pizza. "I'm not very photogenic." Dean snorted and aimed the camera in his direction, but Castiel held a hand in front of his face. "I look terrible right now!" Dean pushed his hand away.

"Just smile for me," he said, briefly lowering the phone to show him that he was pouting to get what he wanted. That was enough to make Castiel smile though and Dean was quick to snap a picture before he had the chance to look away. He sighed dramatically while falling over, putting his head in Dean's lap. "You know who whines? Babies." 

"You're mean," Castiel mumbled. Dean just smiled, still swiping and tapping away at his new phone. Castiel looked up at him and just stared, a fond smile on his lips. The sound of his dad and Sam talking in the other room could be heard and then a couple of sharp knocks at the door. Neither of them had the chance to get up before Sam came running, all but flinging the door open to reveal Bobby. Dean seemed to shrink in on himself, leaning a bit back so he was a little behind Castiel's shoulder.

"Good news!" Bobby announced, smiling wide. "Sam," he continued. Sam blinked but walked a little closer, hands clasped together behind his back, an uncertain look on his face. "I was at a meeting with a friend of mine, he's a lawyer. I've told him the whole story and he's sure that I will have no problem with adopting you." Everyone went quiet for a while. Castiel heard the barely audible breath that Dean sucked in just before Sam ran up to Bobby, hugging him. 

"Awesome!" Sam exclaimed, excited with the news. Castiel smiled wide towards the two of them, but his attention was more on Dean than them. "Did you hear that, Dean?" He moved a bit to look at Sam, smiling fondly. 

"Yeah," he said. "I heard. It's good, John won't be able to bother you anymore." Sam grinned, oblivious to the implication Bobby's actions and words carried with them. He'll adopt Sam. 

"Dean." They both turned back to Bobby. He walked over, around the table, sitting down in the chair next to the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "You're almost eighteen," he started. Dean nodded. "Your old man can't force you to come home. You're not a kid, it's up to you what will happen now." 

"I guess I can get a job and – and an apartment -" Bobby shushed him. 

"What I mean is, you can stay with me without me having to adopt you. But -" Bobby smiled. "If you want me to adopt you, I can do that anyway." It took Dean a few seconds to react. 

"I want you to!" he all but yelled. Then he cleared his throat, clearly embarrassed about it. "I mean, if you want." Bobby leaned forward and put a hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Of course I want to." Castiel watched as they hugged. He kept on watching when Sam joined in. He turned to see that his dad was wiping a tear out of his eye and then turned around while mumbling some excuse about going out with the trash. Afterwards they decided to just put a movie on, temporarily not talking about how the adoption progress would be. Castiel didn't know enough to know if Sam and Dean would have to meet John again, but he hoped not. So instead they chose a movie on Netflix that no one had seen and Dean snuggled into his side, Chuck sat down in the chair on the other side of the table from Bobby, and Sam sat down on the floor closest to the TV. 

"This movie is very confusing," Dean muttered. 

"That's because you're too busy cuddling to actually pay attention," Sam shot back without turning. Castiel grinned, watching Dean blush and hide his face in the nook of his neck. 

"I don't really understand the movie either," Castiel whispered to him. "The character I thought was the main character died like twenty minutes ago." Dean chuckled against him. 

"That's the main character," Dean said when one of the bald men came on screen. Castiel hummed. "Even though the woman he has with him is doing most of the rescuing." Castiel nodded in agreement. 

"That's alright," Castiel whispered. "We have all the time in the world to watch good movies." They might have missed some key points in the plot because they were kissing, but neither of them regretted it, even when Sam complained about it afterwards and spent twenty minutes telling them about what happened in the movie while they were being gross. He only stopped when Bobby cleared his throat. 

"There's something else I gotta say," Bobby said, his tone more serious now. "I owe you - all of you - an apology." 

"You haven't done anything wrong," Dean immediately said. Bobby held a hand up.

"I haven't exactly done something wrong, but I was wrong not to discuss it with the two of you first. The first advice I got from my friend, as a lawyer, was that I had to talk to John. He still had the right to know where the two of you were." 

"You mean.. He knew where I was because you told him?" Sam mumbled. 

"Yeah, and.." Bobby sighed. "I should've asked, I should've let both of you tell me what you wanted, but Rufus insisted I do it immediately." 

"Oh," Dean said. He shifted in his seat, then nodded. "You should've, but.. I mean, you did what you had to do, right? We're still.. He's still our legal guardian." Sam shrugged, then put his arms on the table, leaning his chin on them.

“Yeah,” he said. “Dean’s right.” 

“I’m still apologizing for not telling you,” Bobby said. Castiel was leaning on Dean’s shoulder, smiling as he watched the three of them have a healthy conversation. It was refreshing, something he’d wanted when he was living with his mother. He briefly looked at his dad, wondering if they would have conversations like that. Hopefully. “Well, we should head on home.” He gestured for Sam to get up. Sam pouted but didn’t argue. 

“You’re welcome anytime,” Castiel’s dad said. “We should do more of these movie nights.” Sam grinned and nodded, then waved goodbye to Dean and Castiel, running out of the door. 

“Where does he get the energy?” Bobby mumbled while he followed him outside. 

“I need to work for a bit.” His dad got up. “Just.. Make yourselves at home or let me know if you go out, I guess. Yeah.” He wandered further in to the house, down a hall and then a door was carefully closed. Castiel turned to Dean.

“What should we do now?” he asked. Dean kissed him, then got up and pulled him with. 

“Let’s look around,” he suggested, already pulling Castiel towards the stairs. “I wanna see how your dad lives. He’s a bit weird.” He whispered the last bit, even though the chances of his dad hearing were minimal. And so they were off to their very small, very insignificant adventure with the enthusiasm of children.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on a lot of original stories but I'm still alive lmao


	24. I'll give you the stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A kiss is a rosy dot over the ‘i’ of loving.

Dean pulled Cas up the stairs, their fingers intertwined and their eyes darting around to be sure they noticed everything. The upper floor was relatively empty though, no pictures on the walls, no plants on the small table in the hall. Dean opened the first of three doors, peeking in.

"It's a bedroom," he said to Cas. "I think it's your dad's." He opened the door wide, letting Cas go in first. It was a small room, only containing a big bed with one pillow and a duvet in it, two nightstands, one on each side of the bed, and a closet. No books, no clothes on the floors, no pictures.

"Wow," Cas mumbled. "If it wasn't for the messy bed and the lack of dust, I would never have thought that anyone lived here." Dean nodded in agreement while looking out one of the two windows there. He then walked over and took Cas's hand again, moving out of the room, determined that the next room would definitively be more exciting. The door stopped when it was half-way open, hitting something solid behind it. They both shared a look, then walked sideways to get inside. The thing that had stopped the door was the same thing that filled the room - boxes. It looked like a small family had stored away their life here.

"Dude, let's see what's in them!" Dean said, running to the closest of the boxes. 

"Dean!" Cas pulled him gently away from the box he was ready to open. "It's probably private. I wouldn't want anyone to look through my stuff." Dean pouted, looking around at all the boxes and then back at Cas.

"But I'm curious," Dean muttered. "Just one box, please?" Cas shook his head and grabbed Dean's hand again. "You're no fun." Cas kissed his cheek before he guided him out of the room, carefully closing the door before they continued to the next door. "I guess this will be your room." Cas shrugged before opening the door.

"Oh," Cas said under his breath as they walked in. There was a huge bed in the corner, a nightstand next to it with a stack of books on, an empty bookshelf next to the door, curtains on the windows, posters on the walls, all of it looking like a very organized mess a teenager had made. "It's my room," Cas whispered.

"Uh, yeah? I told you, where else would you sleep." Dean followed him as he walked to the wall, letting his fingers slide over one of the posters. Dean briefly looked at it, not all that interested in the Angel with the sword that towered over them on the poster, no, he was more interested in the wonder on Cas's face.

"It's my room, from when I was a kid," Cas explained. Dean lifted his eyebrows in surprise, then took another look around. All the posters were different. Several Angels were spread around, some small, some not, and a lot of movie posters. "Except the empty bookshelf." Dean chuckled, watching Cas go to the bed. He sat down on the edge of it and grabbed the top book on the nightstand.

"The curious incident of the dog in the night-time," Cas mumbled, more to himself than to Dean. He sat down next to him anyway, just observing the expression on his face while he looked through the books. "Mio, my son." He put two of the last three books on his lap, holding the last one up. "Nancy Drew." 

"Did you take those books with you to your mom's house?" Cas nodded. "I'm guessing there was a lot more books, so I guess I still have to get rich to buy you all of them. I'll need a list." Cas grinned down at the book.

"You're still ridiculous," he mumbled. Dean put his head on Cas's shoulder.

"I'm still gonna do it," he whispered. "I'm gonna find a job when I graduate. Maybe I can learn to be a mechanic by doing, instead of going to school." 

"I think you can do exactly what you want," Cas said while putting the books back on the nightstand. "But you don't have to buy me books, Dean. I have everything I need." 

"But I want you to have everything you want too," Dean said, lifting his head from Cas's shoulder. "I'll win you teddy bears when the carnival is in town and carry your stuff for you and – and everything." Dean was blushing now, but Cas just grinned back at him.

"I guess I don't need to give the whole 'you better not hurt him or else' speech." They both whipped their heads around, finding Chuck standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a soft smile on his face. 

"Dad," Cas whined, and Dean couldn't help but grin at that. Cas had a dad that could embarrass him, that cared enough about him to consider giving Dean the 'don't hurt him' talk. "He's my soulmate, he wouldn't do that."

"Being someones soulmate doesn't necessarily mean that they're worthy," Chuck mumbled. Dean briefly considered asking about Chuck's soulmate, but thought better of it. Instead he leaned close to Cas's ear.

"He's right," he whispered. Cas giggled and pushed him away. 

"Tickles," he mumbled. Then, to his dad, "You remembered what my room looked like." Chuck rubbed his neck, looking around the room. 

"I fixed up the room like this when I moved in," he said. Then he cleared his throat and said, "I'm making some sandwiches, if you guys want." He disappeared down the hall before either of them could answer, seemingly running away. 

"I can't believe he did that," Cas mumbled. He smiled while he looked around once again, taking it all in with wonder in his eyes. "I can't believe my mother took this all away from me." His smile faded and his gaze turned down to the floor. 

"I know," Dean said, putting his arm around him, pulling him into a sideways hug. "But you're here now and we're together. Don't think about her." Cas took a deep breath in, held it for a few seconds, then let it out. "Better?" Cas nodded.

"Let's eat," he said, grabbing Dean's hand. They sat down in the kitchen, patiently waiting while Chuck made the sandwiches, talking about what plans they had for the weekend. Dean talked about the date he was going to take Cas on and that they were going to hang out with Cas's friends. Chuck talked about how he was just going to stay home this weekend – though something told Dean that he stayed home most weekends – to write on his book. "Did you ever finish that book you were writing when I was a kid?" Cas asked. Chuck blinked.

"Oh, I.. Didn't think you remembered that," he mumbled, laughing nervously. "No, it's.. Well, it's the first draft, but I haven't edited it. Or even sent it to my agent. Or mentioned it." He sighed.

"Can I read it?" Cas asked. 

"I guess? I mean, sure. Dean too, if he wants to join in. But it might not be that good." Chuck smiled. Dean chewed slowly on his sandwich, his eyes darting between Cas and his dad. They were clearly having some sort of moment, so the book must be a big deal, at least for Cas. Which caused Dean to be really curious about it, but he didn't want to ask now. 

"I'm sure it is," Cas said. "Even if it needs editing, it'll still be good." He seemed very sure, Dean thought to himself. When they both fell quiet, Dean saw his chance.

"What's it about?" he asked. 

"Oh, it's – it's a children's book about a boy that has to save his dad," Chuck explained, looking down at his sandwich. Dean grinned, looking at Cas. They ate in silence after that and then Chuck excused himself to go to bed. "Don't stay up too late," he said just before exiting the kitchen. 

"You wanna go to bed now?" Dean asked, kissing Cas's shoulder. 

"Yeah," he answered. "I'm not tired, but we could just talk." They ended up laying next to each other in their boxers and t-shirts, looking up at the ceiling after Dean noticed that it was full of stars. Cas had turned the lights off and showed him that they glowed in the dark. Dean rambled on about when he used to drive the Impala outside the city, away from all the lights and the noise, to lay down on the hood, looking up at the stars. "We should do that sometime," Cas said. 

"Yeah," Dean said, turning to look at him. "We should. Is that like a second date kinda thing?" 

"I can't say I'm familiar with any dating rules," Cas mumbled. "Are you?" Dean shook his head. "We should find that out." Dean laughed. 

"What, like, Google it?" Cas shrugged. "We should make up our own rules. We're gonna go on a lot of dates after all." Cas smiled, all gums and teeth, before he turned around to kiss Dean. 

"Yeah," he murmured against his lips. "We are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I wanna thank everyone for the kind words, the comments, the messages, the support! It's an amazing feeling to know that you guys like and love my story! ♥‿♥  
> Secondly, I want all of you to tell me at what point you want me to end this story. Not at what chapter, but at what point in their lives. I'm thinking it'll probably end when they settle down, either move in together or just when everything with adoption and that is settled. But! I've already decided that I want to write more of this, so it won't be the end - it'll just be the end of the first work on this fic. I want to write about them when they're adults, I want to figure out what jobs or education they get, I want to figure out if they get a pet or maybe adopt a kid. So yeah, even after they settle down in this fic, it won't be the last you see of this, if you want to or not! ~(˘▾˘~)


	25. No worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ache for a home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.

Castiel was the first to wake up, which meant his day started with him staring at Dean. He was snoring softly, laying on his side towards him, one arm slung over his stomach and his legs tangled in between his own. He didn't check what time it was, didn't care about it being too late or too early. Instead he counted Dean's freckles. 

"I can practically feel you staring," Dean mumbled after a while, voice laced with sleep. Castiel grinned, but kept on staring.

"I like staring at you," he whispered in response. "You're beautiful." Dean grinned, his eyes still closed. 

"What time is it?" he asked after stifling a yawn. "Or were you too busy staring to check?" Castiel's cheek heated up a bit.

"I don't want to know what time it is," Castiel said to defend himself. "I don't want to go to school." Dean hummed in response, crawling closer to him, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Castiel did the same in return. 

"I wish we went to the same school," he mumbled against Castiel's chest. "I'm suppose to carry your stuff and shit like that." Castiel laughed and kissed Dean's head. 

"We're not in a cheesy movie," he retorted.

"We might be," Dean said. He started to kiss Castiel's chest, gently peppering kisses all over. "Who's to say." Castiel put his left foot over Dean's legs and used it to pull him closer. Castiel just lay there, enjoying Dean's kisses – until the alarm on his phone went off. He groaned, reluctantly pulling away from Dean and his kisses to turn the alarm off. 

"Now we know what time it is," he said when he turned back to Dean. "Happy?" Dean just grabbed Castiel and pulled him back towards him, effectively stopping him from escaping his grip. "We have to get up," Castiel said, trying to convince himself just as much as Dean.

"Don't wanna," Dean said, his voice muffled against Castiel's chest. He laughed while making a weak attempt to get loose. "What if we suddenly got sick during the night," Dean said, pulling back to look at Castiel. Then he let out two weak coughs.

"Dean," Castiel said, a playful smile on his face. He was tempted to give in, but he had ditched school enough the last few days.

"It's just one day," Dean mumbled before he buried his face against Castiel's chest again. He barely saw it, but Dean's smile definitively fell. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, holding Dean close. No answer – not that he needed one. "Nothing is going to happen, Dean. The only person that can take me out of school now is my dad." He wasn't entirely sure about that, but Dean didn't need to know that. Dean nodded against him. "And you can come get me right after school." Dean nodded again. "And then we can go on our date. All day if we want to." 

"Yeah," Dean said, loosening his grip. "I probably have to drive Sam home." 

"I can come with," Castiel said, kissing Dean's head a few times before he pulled away and sat up on the edge of the bed. They had an hour before they had to leave, so they took their time, stopping to share kisses when they could. Castiel wondered to himself if they would always be like this. He hoped so. His dad made them breakfast and they all ate together while they talked about what they should do for their date. Castiel mostly listened while Dean talked about all the things he wanted to do. Take him out to dinner, go to the cinema, drive around while they listened to music. For one with no experience with dating, he sure had a lot of ideas. His dad gave Castiel some money so they could have their fun – his words – insisting when Castiel told him it was too much. Dean drove him to his school, resulting in both of them almost being late because they were too busy kissing. Castiel blushed when he was met with three smiling faces at the main entrance.

"I think I'll be okay with my soulmate being half as sappy as you two," Balthazar said.

"I want the whole package," Charlie chimed in. Meg didn't say anything besides greeting him. "Come on, we'll be late!" They split up as usual, promising to meet for lunch, before they went to class. The first half of the school day went agonizingly slow. Dean texted him when he could and Castiel answered when he could. It was mostly just an endless circle of "I miss you" and "I love you." He tried not to spend too much of the lunch texting.

"Are we still on for tomorrow?" Balthazar asked when they found a table in the lunch hall. 

"Yeah," Castiel said with a smile. "Dean's looking forward to it." 

"Let's hope his taste in movies is acceptable," Charlie said, voice muffled by the food in her mouth. 

"Don't worry about that," Castiel said before taking a bite of his sandwich.

"It's an important thing," Charlie said. "I'm bringing candy and soda."

"I'll order a couple of pizzas," Balthazar said. "Meg?"

"I'll bring my delightful self," she said with a grin. "And popcorn. What about you, Clarence?" Castiel glared at her while chewing his sandwich slowly before swallowing.

"I'll bring Dean," he said with a grin. "Which beats anything you guys bring." Meg pretended to throw up, Balthazar snorted and Charlie, always the romantic, tilted her head and let out a long "aww" before she dreamily started to talk about how she hoped she would meet her soulmate soon. Even though Castiel wished his friends the best, hoping that they wouldn't have to wait too long before they met their soulmates, he was glad that he was the first to find his soulmate. For his own sake, and Dean's. They agreed on a time and Castiel texted Dean about it before he had to go to class. He spent most of the last class before school was over daydreaming, staring out the window, his fingers itching after his phone. 

"Castiel?" He blinked, turning to see not only the teacher, but the whole class staring back at him. He blushed. "Enough daydreaming. The nurse wants to see you." His breath hitched and he immediately turned to look at Meg. She was already standing at the other side of the classroom. 

"I'm going with him," she said, already walking over to him before the teacher could protest. To Castiel's surprise, she didn't.

"Just remember to do the homework," Miss Allen said before gesturing for them to hurry out. Castiel didn't hesitate, he grabbed all his stuff and walked out with Meg. She stayed close to him, their shoulders brushing together as they walked, neither of them saying a word. Castiel carefully peeked into the office before he entered, making sure that no one, except the nurse, was in there. 

"Castiel and.. Meg," the nurse said, lifting an eyebrow at her.

"I'm staying," Meg said, folding her arms. The nurse held up her hands in surrender and gestured for Castiel to sit down. Meg closed the door and stood right in front of it. 

"You have nothing to worry about," she said, trying to ease the very apparent discomfort Castiel displayed. "I wanted to apologize. Your father came to see me earlier." He blinked a few times, then let out a breath, relief flooding through him. "You don't have to worry about your mother coming here. All the teachers are instructed to call the police if she shows up here. You're safe." 

"Fucking finally," Meg mumbled behind them.

"Language," the nurse said, though she had a smile on her face. The hall filled with sounds of chatter and footsteps. "Enjoy your weekend," the nurse said, smiling wide. 

"Thank you," Castiel said, smiling from ear to ear – mostly because he knew that he would be with Dean soon. But also because he had a sense of finality, like a chapter of his life just ended. Because his mother couldn't get to him at his new home and now she couldn't get to him at his school either. 

"What are you and Dean doing today?" Meg asked as they walked to the main entrance.

"I don't know, Dean wanted to plan it. He had a lot of ideas." He laughed and told Meg about the brainstorming session Dean had with his dad earlier. Charlie and Balthazar popped up next to them.

"Where did you guys come from? Did you get in trouble?" Charlie asked, a worried look on her face.

"No, nothing like that. The nurse apologized for.." He let the sentence drift away before he started a new one. "My dad talked to the school, so my mother can't get me here." Charlie skipped over and hugged him.

"Your dad is awesome! I can't wait to meet him." They walked like that, Charlie with her hand around Castiel's waist and his hand over her shoulders.

"Maybe you guys can come over to visit next week or something," Castiel said. He really liked the thought of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a bit late, but the reason why is kinda cool!!  
> I created a writeblr a while back and I suddenly found that people were interested in my original work. So I decided, after a few people showed interested in the story, that I'm writing a fucking book. Which is like super rad. So if any of you are interested in a romance between a bisexual woman and a trans woman that transitions during the story, check out my writeblr; writersloth.


	26. Tell me you love me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

The school day dragged on, every minute seemed to last way longer than they should, and all Dean had to distract himself from that was the texts from Cas. With no friends at the school, he didn't have anything better to do either, so he simply waited by the phone - both when he was allowed to and when he wasn't. It wasn't until right after lunch started and he saw Mr. Speight walking past the open door to his classroom that his thoughts went elsewhere.

"Mr. Speight!" He jogged up to him. "Uh, I mean Gabriel. Hey." He smiled apologetically but Gabriel didn't seem to take offense.

"Something on your mind?" he asked with a smile, even though he should know what Dean was going to ask about.

"You said.. Cas has a sister. Anna." Gabriel nodded, his smile fading. "Is she dead or something? Cas didn't know about her." Gabriel sighed and gestured for him to follow him. They walked past several classrooms before they got to his office. He closed the door behind them and sat down on the desk.

"She's not dead," he started with. 

"So what is she exactly?" Dean asked. "Did Naomi send her to the same camp as Cas?" he asked before Gabriel had the chance to answer. Gabriel sighed and nodded. 

"I should be talking to Castiel about this," he mumbled. 

"Why? She got out, right?" Dean asked, hoping that he wouldn't regret it when he got an answer. Maybe it would've been better if he just forgot about the whole thing. Maybe it would be better if Cas didn't know. 

"She did," Gabriel said. "But she was there for months. She's wasn't as lucky as Castiel." Dean's heart sank and he leaned back, shoulder slumped down. "Maybe you should tell him or at least ask him if he wants to know. If he wants to meet her." Dean knew he should at least ask Cas, but he couldn't help but try to put himself in Cas's shoes. What would his answer be? Would he want to know? He wasn't sure, but he was sure he at least would want to choose that for himself. 

"I'll ask him," Dean said eventually. "But I don't want to tell him everything. I don't want to know everything before he does." Gabriel nodded. 

"I'll be here a few hours after school. I'm assuming you're meeting him afterwards." They simply nodded at each other after that, then went on about their day. Dean didn't pay much attention during the remaining classes though, his thoughts were busy with going through different scenarios of how Cas would react. He didn't mention it in their texts, since the question were far too heavy to ask over text. So he pretended like everything was fine, even if he might be a little generous with the "I love you's" and "I miss you's." When the last class finally ended he was out of the door before the teacher could tell him about the homework. He managed to play off his anxious mood with just being excited for their date. Sam took care of the talking on the ride home and Cas was happy to listen to Sam rambling about something he learned that day and whatever it was that Jess had done. 

"Have fun being gross." Dean shot Sam a glare, but he was already out of the car and on his way to the front door. Cas kept talking about how funny a story Sam had told was as they rode back down the road and headed for the town again. 

"What's up with you?" Cas finally asked when they rode into town. "Is there something wrong?" Dean briefly looked over at him but didn't have the heart to keep looking. He just sighed, which in itself was a clear answer to Cas's question. "Something's wrong." 

"Uh, kinda," Dean said. "Not - not wrong in a sense, just new. New information." Cas didn't ask where they were going. He didn't even ask what they were doing at Dean's school when they were parked close to the main entrance. "I mentioned a sister. Your sister, I mean." 

"Yeah, I.. I thought maybe we could just.. Forget that." Cas chewed on his lower lip, avoiding Dean's gaze.

"Let's go outside," Dean said, moving to open the door. 

"Why?" Cas asked. "The school is closed, isn't it?" Dean looked at him over his shoulder and shook his head.

"I just wanna hug you or something," Dean mumbled before he opened the door and went around the car to help Cas open the door. He hadn't moved, but he took Dean's hand when he offered to help him get up. They hugged for a few minutes before Dean found the courage to continue the conversation. "Gabriel knew her, she went to this school. He knows what happened." 

"Is she dead?" Cas asked immediately. 

"No! No, she's - she's not dead. Gabriel offered to tell you about her, if you want. We don't have to do it today, we can go on our date or just go home to lay in bed or.." Dean's sentence trailed off when Cas buried his face against his throat, then placed a gentle kiss there.

"If she's alive, I wanna meet her." Another kiss. "And depending on my mood after, we can either go on our date or just hide under the covers." Dean chuckled. Cas smiled against his throat, then kissed him there one last time before he pulled away. "Gabriel's inside still?" Dean nodded.

"He said he would be here anyway, but I think he's just waiting for us honestly." Cas looked towards the school.

"He seems nice," he mumbled. Then he grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him towards the school. Dean pointed him in the right direction to Gabriel's office. All the lights were off, so they were walking in the dark, but when they got close to Gabriel's office light was pouring out of the open door. Cas knocked on the door frame before they entered.

"Ah, Castiel!" Gabriel put down some papers that Dean suspected he had been holding just for show. He gestured for them to sit down and then went over to close the door, even thought no one else was at the school at that hour. Not on a Friday.

"I have a sister," Cas stated when Gabriel sat down on the other side of the desk. Dean shifted in his seat, not really knowing what to do with himself. He kept a hand on Cas's thigh though, hoping it helped a little.

"Anna," Gabriel said as a start. "Half-sister. She went here a long time ago, she must be.. Twenty-two now." Cas nodded but otherwise didn't comment. Dean almost felt like he shouldn't be there, like this was something that wasn't meant for him. Cas must've sensed his unease and offered him a hand to hold. Dean happily accepted it, but felt a bit stupid for being the one that needed comfort. Dean kept his attention on the conversation, but his eyes on Cas's hand holding his. "She started here when she was ten. Smart student, eager to learn, but a bit reluctant to make friends. I talked to her mother quite a few times. She often came down to ask questions about how Anna did in school, like she didn't believe what Anna herself told her." 

"She.. Does - did that with my teachers too," Cas said. 

"I figured," Gabriel mumbled before he continued. "One day she didn't show up for school on time. She came running in two hours later, hysterical as she ran down the hall. I was the only one in my office so she came to me." 

"And then the people from the camp came," Cas said. "That's how you knew where to find me." Dean felt sorry for Anna, but he wondered to himself if Cas would still be in that camp if it weren't for that happening to her. It was a selfish thought he would never say out loud. 

"I struggled with letting it go, I searched for her, found her father and helped him get her out of there. Unfortunately it took months." He saved Cas so fast. He didn't stop to panic once during the whole rescue, he was so sure of what he did, and of course he was - he'd done it before. 

"Where is she now?" Cas asked. Dean had been to focused on keeping his head down that he hadn't realized that Cas was crying, not until he heard his voice break a little at the end of the sentence. He looked up to see tears on Cas's cheek. He squeezed his hand and put his other arm around him, waiting for the conversation to end, for Cas to need comfort. Cas kept his eyes on Gabriel though. The silence stretched on for a little while, until Gabriel answered the question finally. 

"I checked yesterday," Gabriel started. Then, after a deep sigh, "She's at the psychiatric hospital outside of town."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I struggled to choose between fluff and angst, so I asked a friend to randomly choose between A and F. So she's really to blame for this, noT ME HONEST


	27. Date night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.

Castiel didn't realize he was holding his breath until Dean told him to breathe in a soft voice. "Has she been there the whole time?" He let out a sigh of relief when Gabriel shook his head. 

"She's been in and out, but her father is taking good care of her, don't worry." Gabriel opened a drawer and pulled something out. An envelope that he held out to him. Castiel accepted it, his eyes scanning it for any writings. "It's the father's contact info, in case you want to find out more. Or just talk to him, either way." Castiel nodded, then got up. He didn't have more questions for Gabriel. 

"Thank you," Dean said, making Castiel realize that he had just been standing there, staring at the envelope. He snapped his head up and offered a polite smile.

"Thank you for doing this," Castiel hastily said. "You didn't have to." After Gabriel assured him several times that he didn't mind doing it, they left hand in hand. 

"You okay?" Dean asked when they got to the car, neither of them not really ready to go anywhere. Or let go of each others hands for that matter. "That was a lot." 

"Yeah, but.. I don't know, it doesn't feel real yet, you know? Not until I meet her at least. Maybe not even then." Dean nodded in understanding. "I'm hungry." Dean grinned.

"Burgers?" Castiel nodded in agreement, then received a kiss on his forehead before Dean let his hand go and walked around the car. "Where do you wanna eat?" he asked when Castiel had gotten in the car. Castiel thought about it for a moment.

"I've never had dinner in bed before," he said. "It sounds nice." Dean laughed, easily causing Castiel to smile. 

"I've never done that either," Dean said, turning left and right, until they were close to the mall. "Yeah, let's do that." Castiel stared at the envelope in his hand, then moved to open it, only to change is mind when he held it up. Instead he put it in the glove department in front of him and turned to Dean. "Not gonna open it?" he asked as he parked the car close to the mall.

"Later," Castiel mumbled. "We've had a lot to worry about since we met, I kinda want some peace now. At least for a few days or something. I just wanna eat burgers and cuddle." He leaned over to place his head on Dean's shoulder, turning it to smile up at him.

"I can get behind that," Dean said with a smile of his own. "Wait, are we eating and then cuddling, or are we cuddling while eating?" Castiel laughed and pushed Dean playfully. "We'll figure it out," he said before Castiel could comment, leaving him staring at the door long after Dean had left the car and closed it. He didn't move until Dean opened the door on his side. "Uh, Cas? You coming?" He blinked and turned around.

"Yes, yeah. Sorry." He jumped out, almost tripped on a stone, then leaned against the car as he laughed. "Sorry," he repeated. "You just asked if we were going to eat burgers while cuddling in bed," he said, which didn't really clear anything up for Dean apparently, since he was still watching him with a confused face. "And you meant it!" Castiel said, grinning.

"It's not that dumb," Dean mumbled, folding his arms. 

"No, it's -" Castiel grabbed his arms and pulled them away from Dean's chest. "It's amazing," he said. Dean just looked confused again, but at least he had a small smile on his face. "I mean, it's like.. I don't know, I always wondered what kind of person you would be, what kind of soulmate I would have, but I could never dream I would find someone that would want to lay in bed with me while eating burgers." And then they were laughing together, ignoring the people around them that were staring at them like they were mad. 

"You know, you're very easy to please," Dean said when they finished laughing. Castiel just hugged him, thinking that whatever happened when he met his sister, things wouldn't be awful either way. "Did you think I would be a bad person?" Castiel moved his head back to look at Dean, shaking his head.

"No," Castiel said, trying to sound as sure of it as he was. He had been doubtful when the flowers came and went, of course, but he hadn't ever thought that his soulmate would be a bad person. "I just didn't think it would be this easy. To be with you, I mean. I figured maybe I had thought about it for so long that the reality of it would pale in comparison." Dean's cheeks had a slight tinge of red on them.

"You're such a dork," he said before kissing Castiel's forehead. Now that the energy had changed and the focus on the envelope in the car had been partially forgotten, the conversation fell over to easier subjects. They talked about how they were gonna avoid making a mess with the burgers in bed and about what they could bring to tomorrows movie night at Balthazar's house. Dean wanted to bring caramel and Castiel decided he wanted ice-cream, even though he knew Dean would eat most of it. Maybe that was part of the reason too. His dad sat in the living room, reading a very thick book, when they came home. 

"Oh, I thought you'd be out all day. Or at least the afternoon." He didn't seem disappointed, just surprised. 

"Oh, uh.." Castiel suddenly realized that he had to talk to his dad about Anna. Later. "We just wanted to relax at home a bit," he said instead of trying to explain everything. As an afterthought, he added, "Can we talk later?" 

"Of course!" his dad answered enthusiastically. Castiel had fallen so easily into the new living arrangement that he kept forgetting that this was all new to his dad. He'd never had a teenager in the house, just a kid - seven years ago. 

"Great." Castiel had to force his smile a bit, but he didn't seem to notice. Dean probably did, but Castiel didn't look at him before he walked to the stairs. He jumped on the bed while Dean closed the door and joined him on the bed, placing the boxes with their burgers on the nightstand. 

"You okay?" he asked. 

"Yeah, I just don't want to think about it, but I have to tell my dad." Dean nodded.

"But not now," he said in a stern voice, trying to keep from laughing. "There's burgers. Nothing is more important than burgers, Cas." He couldn't help but laugh, and his stomach seemed to agree with Dean, judging by the noises it made. "See?" Dean grabbed the burgers and offered one to him. 

"Thanks." Castiel hesitated before opening it, not really sure if he wanted to eat or stay as close to Dean as he could right now. Luckily Dean made the choice for him. He moved closer, put on hand under the box Castiel was holding, then tangled their legs together. 

"There," he said. "Cuddling." Castiel struggled to eat because he couldn't stop smiling. Dean finished first, as usual, and placed his empty box on the nightstand. He bounced slightly up and down while staring at him as he tried to finish his own burger.

"Stop staring," Castiel said in between bites. Dean closed his eyes, but kept on bouncing up and down. "You're weird," he said, only receiving a smile in return. Still he tried to finish his burger a bit faster, curious about what Dean was planning to do when he put the box away. 

"Finished?" Dean said, eyes still closed. Castiel let out a muffled 'no' while he chewed on the last bite. Dean had been bouncing up and down on the mattress for minutes with his eyes closed, but Castiel was having too much fun watching him doing such a ridiculous thing that he didn't tell him to stop or open his eyes. He must've heard the box being placed on the nightstand though, because he opened his eyes slowly and stopped bouncing. 

"Wait," Castiel said, hand in front of his mouth, because he wasn't done chewing. "Alright, I'm -" He didn't finish the sentence, being too surprised when Dean kissed him so suddenly that they both fell over. "You were bouncing in excitement because of this?" Castiel laughed when Dean nodded. He wrapped his legs around him and his arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. 

"I'll take you out on a real date another day," Dean said in between kisses. 

"I think," Castiel said, pausing to kiss Dean some more. "That this counts as a real date."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My time to work on this story has been limited, with me working hard on my original stories. I've decided to do NaNoWriMo this year, I've never tried it before, so keeping up with this story on a regular basis while preparing to write 50 000 words on another story five weeks from now is hard. Not to mention in the actual month when I'll be writing!! 
> 
> So sorry for the late and random update times, and thank all of you that are still reading for keeping up with me!! <3


	28. Darling?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone that catches the references: I'm truly sorry.

Dean tried not to eavesdrop when Cas went to talk to his dad, he really did, but he was curious about how Chuck was going to react. So, he walked on his toes to the top of the stairs and sat down, trying his best to listen to the conversation going on downstairs. He could only hear bits and pieces though, but he kept sitting there, waiting for Cas to return, hoping he wouldn't need comfort. 

"I wanna meet her," Cas said. Dean tried to hear what Chuck answered, but his voice wasn't easy to hear from a distance. "Yeah." Cas didn't sound mad, so the reply couldn't have been all that bad. "I'll talk to her dad first, I guess. He's the one that knows her best. He might say no." Dean tilted his head and wondered to himself what Cas's sister would be like, if he ever got to meet her. Then he thought about what her dad might be like. He must be tired, even though he didn't have Anna at home right now. It must be tiring to know that your kid was struggling and that the mother was to blame. Or maybe her father was like his own dad. Maybe he wasn't kind at all. "Dean?" He jumped at the sound of his own name. 

"Oh, hey! I was just, uh, thinking." Cas sat down next to him and put his arm around him.

"About what?" he asked. Dean shrugged.

"What your sister is like," he mumbled. 

"Really? Cause you looked like you'd seen a ghost." Dean laughed nervously and waved his hand.

"Nah," he said, not sure how to continue. Luckily, Cas didn't make him continue.

"Sorry I ruined our date," he said, putting his head on Dean's shoulder. Dean kissed the top of his head.

"You didn't." Dean was more than happy with spending hours in bed cuddling and talking to his soulmate, and yeah, maybe he wanted life to give them a break for a while, but they had the rest of their lives for that anyway. "What did your father say?" 

"He was surprised," Cas said. "He had no idea. He supports me in wanting to meet her though, he even wanted to come with." Dean felt a bit guilty, because he didn't really want to go. He didn't really want to meet Cas's sister because he would see her as a haunted version of Cas. The way he could've been, if he hadn't gotten out of the camp as soon as he did. "Dean, you're a million miles away." Dean cleared his throat.

"Sorry, maybe I'm just tired." Weak excuse. 

"Oh. Do you wanna go home to sleep?" Dean grinned and leaned over on him, Cas laughing as he slowly fell to the floor, Dean on top of him. 

"Too tired to move!" Dean exclaimed. "Won't someone carry me to a bed?" He sighed dramatically and buried his face in Cas's chest. Cas pushed him up by his shoulders and leaned down to kiss him, effectively pulling Dean from his tired state. "That'll work too," he whispered against Cas's lips.

"I thought so," Cas said with a grin. "But seriously, do you wanna go home? We're spending tomorrow together too, with the others, but still." Dean chewed on his lip.

"I haven't been spending a lot of time with Sammy," he mumbled. 

"Call him, ask if he wants to hang out. It's only eight pm." Dean nodded and got up to get his phone from Cas's nightstand. Cas followed him and they ended up on the bed again, Dean on his back with his head in Cas's lap while he called to ask if Sam wanted to hang out. Cas mushed his cheeks around while they waiting for Sam to answer, while Dean tried to get Cas to stop. 

"Aren't you busy being gross with Cas?" Sam answered. Dean snorted. 

"Shuddup, Sammy. What are you up to?" He looked up at Cas, putting his free hand on his cheek, Cas leaning into the touch with closed eyes. 

"Nothing, Bobby's outside fixing a car and Jess is busy, so I'm just reading. Why, you had a fight with Cas or something?" 

"No, we're good. Just wondered if you wanted to hang out. We haven't had a lot of time to anything lately." And we didn't get to hang out before because... He left it at that and focused on Cas's eyes instead, while stroking his thumb gently over his cheek.

"Oh. Sure, if you want to! I mean, you don't have to, if you wanna hang out with Cas it's -"

"Hey, I called you, remember? I'll come home and -" Cas leaned down to kiss him, just a quick peck on the lips. "In a little while." Sam hung up after making a noise of disgust. "You were the one that suggested I go home," Dean said in between their up-side down kisses. 

"Yeah, I'm dumb like that," Cas said as he maneuvered himself around and on top of Dean, continuing the kissing. 

"Okay," Dean mumbled against his lips. "I'm leaving now." Cas whined and rolled over. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

"Yeah." They shared a final kiss before Dean got off the bed. "Text me when you get home." Dean nodded and smiled before he left the room. Chuck wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, so he left without saying goodbye, closing the door carefully in case Chuck was already asleep. Dean hurried home, a smile on his face as he drove up to Bobby's house, the house he could call home - once he'd gotten used to it - and ran inside to find Sam. 

"Why're you so excited?" Sam said, looking at him with a quizzical look, when Dean entered the living room. Dean shrugged. "Bobby went out and bought some snacks." Sam pointed to the living room, showing no signs of getting up from the couch. Dean sent a text to Cas, telling him he got home safe, then happily served soda and grabbed the bag from the kitchen counter, looking through it as he walked to the couch.

"Scoot, jerkface," he mumbled as he sat down as close to Sam as possible. "Show your elders some respect."

"You scoot, asshat! I'll show you respect when you deserve it." Sam pushed Dean playfully while he was looking down in the bag, rummaging through it.

"There's no licorice!" he exclaimed, turning to Sam. "This is your fault!" Sam grinned wide and grabbed the bag from him, pulling out anything but licorice.

"I asked Bobby not to get any because licorice is disgusting!" Dean gasped, feigning a shocked face as he put his hand to his chest. 

"Well excuse me, Mr. Peanut butter and banana sandwich!" Sam hit him with a chocolate bar several times while Dean tried his best not to get hit in the face, laughing.

"I stand by that sandwich! Nobody likes licorice, Dean." Dean repeated the words in a mocking voice.

"It's a classic movie snack, Sammy. It's right up there with popcorn." Sam scoffed. 

"You're out of your mind." Dean looked down, then grabbed the chocolate bar and pointed it at Sam, grinning triumphantly.

"There's licorice in this chocolate," he announced. Sam squinted at him for a few seconds before he ripped the chocolate bar out of his hand, staring down at it with extreme concentration. 

"Sorry, Sam." They both looked up to see Bobby standing there, leaning against the wall, a fond smile on his face. "Figured I ought to get your brother something good." Sam stuck his tongue out and threw the chocolate bar at Dean. He managed to catch it though and immediately ripped it open. He took a bite and chewed it loudly, mouth open, in Sam's direction. 

"Ugh, you're disgusting," Sam whined, trying his best to push him away. Bobby chuckled as he walked over, joining them on the couch. He leaned back and let out a sigh. "What's wrong?" They both looked over at Bobby, immediate worry on their faces. 

"Nothing," Bobby mumbled. Then he smiled, "Nothing at all. Just glad you're here, both of ya." Sam and Dean shared a look, both of them chewing slowly on their chosen candy. "Did you choose a movie?" Bobby asked. Sammy leaned forward and grabbed the remote, pressing a button.

"Of course," he said. "Enjoy." He leaned back, staring Dean down as he did, chewing with his mouth open on whatever kind of pink candy he had in there. Dean followed him with his gaze and then turned to the TV to confirm his suspicion. 

"I'm choosing the movie next time," Dean muttered as the familiar start scene of "The shining" started to play. He leaned back though, reveling in the feeling of watching a movie with his brother and Bobby, whatever the movie may be. Sam leaned in close.

"Here's Johnny," he whispered into Dean's ear. Bobby made them both finish the movie, for whatever reason, though he seemed to be more interested in their constant bickering than the actual movie. It was yet another thing Dean had to get used to - to actually get attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me, huh? No such luck. I survived NaNo, so I'm now 50k + words deep in one of my original WIPs. I'm still gonna finish this story and write some more about their life a little later on as a second work in this series.
> 
> Also, I have another Destiel fanfic WIP I want to write. This one is more thought out, well outlined and I've had the idea for months. So I really want to find some beta readers for that one! If anyone here is interested in this, let me know and I can tell you a bit about the story if ya want.


	29. Reminders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.”

Castiel sat on the bed with his phone in his hands, spinning it round and round. When the screen finally lit up with a text message from Dean, he let out a relieved sigh. He sent a quick reply, then continued to spin the phone around. He felt uneasy, like something bad was about to happen. He didn't get the chance to worry for too long before he heard the door slam shut. He stared at the door to the hall, his pulse a bit quicker now. He clutched the phone in his hands while sneaking out of the door and to the stairs, peeking around the corner. A loud crash made Castiel flinch, until a familiar voice let out a hushed curse. He smiled. 

"Dad?" Another crash and curse before his dad peeked his head out of the kitchen. Castiel walked down the stairs. 

"Yes?" he answered, his eyes briefly wandering to the kitchen.

"What are you up to?" His dad laughed nervously.

"Just making some.. Cupcakes." He popped back into the kitchen again. Castiel followed. He found his dad on the floor, trying to clean up the flour he'd spilled all over. Castiel held a hand in front of his mouth to keep in the laughter. His dad looked up at him, an apologetic smile on his face. "Sorry, I just thought you could use some cheering up. Did Dean leave already?" He nodded.

"He's spending some time with Sam. They haven't had a lot of time together lately." His dad nodded slowly in response while turning his gaze down towards the floor again, pushing the flour into a pile with his hands.

"Um, maybe a broom would be better," he suggested. His dad got up from the floor, laughing nervously yet again while spinning in circles for a bit, as if he didn't know where things were in his own house. He did decide on a direction eventually, leaving the kitchen momentarily. Castiel walked around the mess on the floor to see what else he'd bought. Sugar, eggs, baking powder, and a ton of other things. Sprinkles, cocoa and bars of chocolate stood out the most. Castiel grinned and turned to his dad. "Are you making the cupcakes we used to make when I was a kid?" 

"Oh," his dad said, looking at him with wide eyes. "You remember those?" 

"The blue chocolate sprinkle cupcakes? How could I ever forget those!" Castiel laughed. "And all the nights you let me stay up to eat cupcakes and watch movies." They spent the rest of the evening baking, cleaning and eating cupcakes. Castiel took pictures of the cupcakes and got a shot of his dad with flour all over his face, sending both of the pictures to Dean. He replied with a picture of himself, with a smile on his face, and Sam, with his face crunched together in a grimace. 

"So," his dad began in the middle of the movie they were watching after the kitchen was finally clean, while fidgeting with the pillow on his lap. "You and Dean." Castiel furrowed his brows.

"Me and Dean what?" His dad cleared his throat. 

"I was just.. You know, I – I don't know if.. If you've been with others, but -"

"Oh my god, dad!" Castiel put his hands over his face leaning back in the couch. 

"I just figured your.. I just figured that Naomi might've.. Well, I assume she haven't had the talk with you since she's not.." He trailed off.

"Not cool with me being gay?" Castiel helpfully suggested while peeking out between his fingers. Their eyes met for a brief second before his dad turned away and Castiel hid his eyes behind his fingers again. 

"That," he simply said. "So.." Castiel groaned.

"I haven't.." He chewed on his lip while pulling his legs close to his chest, leaning his chin on his knee while focusing on the screen as best he could. "I haven't," he repeated, leaving it at that. 

"Oh." A pause. "Well, uh.. When you're ready to.. You know, you – you can come talk to -"

"If I say yes can we stop talking about this?" Castiel whined. His dad cleared his throat again, the topic clearly just as uncomfortable for both of them. 

"Yes. Alright, yes. Good." Castiel let out a sigh of relief just as his phone vibrated against the table. He spent the last few minutes of the movie texting with Dean, mostly because he'd already figured out the ending of the movie anyway. It was closing in on midnight when he turned the TV off.

"I'm gonna head to.. Bed." His dad was asleep, head leaned back against the couch. "Dad?" He poked him, receiving a grunt in response. "Go to bed," Castiel said with a laugh. 

"Yeah," his dad mumbled right before he got up, eyes still closed. "Night." He walked slowly, somehow managing to avoid every obstacle in his path, though Castiel was sure his eyes were still closed. He texted Dean to tell him about it, then brushed his teeth and found a t-shirt to sleep in. Despite missing Dean's body against his, he fell asleep soon after crawling under the covers, phone still in his hand. 

He startled awake when the phone vibrated against his cheek, immediately pushing himself up from the mattress before he was fully awake. He looked down at the phone that had somehow ended up under his face while he'd been sleeping. He unlocked it, finding that he'd only been asleep for a couple of hours. Apparently the vibration of a single text message against his face was enough to wake him up. He rubbed his eye as he sat up, opening the text from Dean. 'U awake?' 

"I am now," he mumbled under his breath before he sent a quick reply, not mentioning that the text woke him up. 'Can I come over?' He immediately called Dean. "What's wrong?" Castiel asked as soon as Dean answered. Dean chuckled.

"Nothing," he said. "I'm fine." His voice was croaky and hushed. Despite knowing full well that when Dean said he was fine, it meant that he was not fine, Castiel knew better than to bring it up now. 

"Of course you can come over," Castiel said, suppressing a yawn. "Where are you?" 

"Home," Dean said. "In the car." 

"Why are you – let's talk when you get here, okay? I'll unlock the door so you can come right in." Castiel heard the car start up right before they hung up. He rubbed his neck as he got out of the bed, walking downstairs, doing his best to keep quiet. The house was old, but he'd almost managed to figure out which steps to avoid when he walked downstairs by now. He found that the door was already unlocked. He was comfortable here, never suspecting anyone to get to him, and so he hadn’t even thought about locking it before he went to bed. In between these walls, he was safe. So he left it unlocked and got a glass of water, then sat down on the couch, waiting for the door to open. Dean must've driven a bit over the speed limit, because Castiel didn't have to wait long. 

"Cas?" He put the glass down on the table and met Dean in the hall. All Castiel could think about was how tired he looked, because he hadn’t looked like this when they'd parted earlier. "Hey." Dean pulled him into a brief hug before he took his shoes off.

"You're freezing," Castiel said, brushing his fingers over his arm. With no jacket on, just a simple t-shirt, he was hardly dressed for the cold night. "Let's go to bed." He grabbed Dean's hand and pulled him along up the stairs and to the bedroom. Castiel sat silently on the side of the bed while Dean stepped out of his pants and socks, then they crawled under the covers together. He pulled Dean close to him, so he was laying behind him, with his stomach against Dean's back. He let the silence linger for a while.

"Couldn't sleep," Dean mumbled after a while. "Had a nightmare and, uh.. Yeah. Couldn't sleep afterwards." Castiel kissed his neck.

"Why were you out in the car?" he murmured while tangling their legs together.

"It's dumb," Dean said with a chuckle. "It's.. My dad sold the car so it – it doesn't remind me of him. It kinda reminds me that I'm not there anymore. So I sit there sometimes, when I have to kind of.. Remind myself of that. Not being there anymore, that is." 

"Oh," Castiel said, a bit taken aback. "That's not dumb though. I'm glad Bobby bought the car."

"Me too. It's great to be able to go wherever I want. We should go on a road trip someday." Castiel hummed, his eyes heavy with sleep. It didn't help to have Dean's body against his, the comfortable feeling relaxing him even more. 

"We should," he mumbled. "Maybe when school's out." 

"Yeah, that sounds nice." Despite being too tired to keep up the conversation, Castiel still stayed awake until he was sure Dean was asleep. His breathing evened out, soft snores being the only sound in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still alive! I have no posting schedule, mostly because I have no control over when I feel like writing on this story, my other fanfic WIP or one of my two original WIPs. Lately I've been having a lot of Destiel feels.
> 
> I'm working a bit on my other Destiel WIP too though. So get this:  
> Cas works nights as a healthcare worker at a nursing home. Charlie works with him as a nurse. Mary moves in as a patient with dementia. Sam lives in another town but tries to be there as much as possible, but Dean is there practically everyday, and for some weird reason he leaves very late at night. Strange, huh? I think we all know what happens. Spoilers: they fall for each other. Cas doesn't date anyone even remotely related to his work place, so this one's a slow burn. We're talking yeeeaaaaars.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos are appreciated, comments are loved, sharing is caring!


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